My Ode To Twitter

Twitter is certainly an interesting beast to say the least.

You either will find great conversation, people bashing other people, athletes that get themselves into hot water and whom don’t interact with fans, and also people who aren’t too bright.

In this day in age, you’d have to be living under a rock to know that social media is filled to the brim with scammers, losers, guys looking to hook up, and even criminals.  If you aren’t careful, they will find you,  try to sweet talk you into believing that they are harmless, and then when you least expect it, pounce on the opportunity and take whatever they can get from you!

Social media can be a dark place, but it also can be a place where you can shine.

First off, let’s talk about the GOOD stuff you can find on Twitter.  You can network very easily with folks in your niche. You can get folks to buy your product, service, and read your blogs and books.  You can also find great conversation too!  Now, all conversation should stay on the platform and never go into DMs ( unless that account is verified!)

DMS are the dark place – especially with guys who lurk on the site for their next victim. It’s really disgusting when a guy sends a girl (woman) a picture of his junk and thinks it’s a turn on! Um, from 1 to 10 you are a no, a never, and a someone who will get blocked immediately.  Not only that, you will get reported for doing that.  Why guys think that’s a way to get a girl (woman) interested in him, is beyond me!

Secondly, constantly hounding a girl (woman) to talk “Privately” is a Red Flag!  Why do I need to talk privately with you? Why can’t you talk through tweeting me? A guy and a girl can get to know each other by asking general questions through tweets?  Where are you from? What’s your favorite vacation spot?  What do you like to do when you have free time? Etc….  There are MANY questions you can ask as well as having conversation about whatever they are tweeting about.  Then maybe the conversation will naturally move to DMS if both parties feel safe enough to move it there.  And it’s really not smart to tweet to someone that you wish no harm on them or that they can trust you. Um, nope. That’s not a good sign that you have good intentions.

Also, anyone who asks you for money in a DM is spamming you.  Report those immediately.

Now, let’s talk about athletes on Twitter.

Athletes show me time and time again, that they really don’t “get” the power of social media and what it truly is good for. They either tweet the stupidest of things like; rap lyrics, content that is created for their brand that really has no purpose, telling everyone they have “moved on” from a situation when in fact they haven’t, responding to the press in a tweet that makes no sense, social issues, RTing crap, or my favorite, other celebrities and athletes.

These athletes don’t release the power of the platform. They all “claim” that they have a platform, but they misuse it every single time.

Social media is possibly one of the most powerful tools of the 21st century.  Social media provides an avenue for athletes to not only engage with fans, but also influence them with the right content that helps fans make a decision. It’s also a great way to highlight inspirational stories and get people pumped up!  Too bad they don’t know this and they listen to their agents, PR folks and other people in their camps on what to post and those people are not educated on this topic at all!

Then you have examples after examples of what NOT to do on social media which I stated time and time again in my book, “Victim No More.”  But just in case you haven’t read it here are a few examples:

1-Comedian Gilbert Gottfried, voice of the Aflac duck, made some jokes about the Japanese tsunami over Twitter. He said, “Japan is really advanced. They don’t go to the beach. The beach comes to them.”  Aflac is the largest insurance company in Japan. Gottfried was fired.

2-Nicole Crowther was a recurring extra on Glee until she tweeted some plot spoilers she had heard on set. She was more or less fired via Twitter by the show’s producer, Brad Falchuk, who tweeted in response: “Hope you’re qualified to do something besides work in entertainment.”

3- Toronto-based sportscaster Damian Goddard was fired for tweeting his opinion on same-sex marriage. Hockey agent Todd Reynolds had criticized Rangers forward Sean Avery for publicly supporting the cause. Tweeted Goddard, “I completely and wholeheartedly support Todd Reynolds and his support for the traditional and TRUE meaning of marriage.”

Now, we have many other examples that have happened over this past year, but yesterday MLB reporter, Andy Martino, tweets: “After all the fluffy HOF stuff, it’s good to have on record that Rivera, man of faith, doesn’t consider these and other acts political dealbreakers: —- children sleeping in cages — making fun of a handicapped person — multiple accusations of rape Now we know where he stands.”  

Seriously, he HAD to go there? He had to tweet POLITICS and combine that with a NY Legend who has done NOTHING outlashed while he was a New York Yankee and even now as a retired Hall of Famer.  Why are folks so stupid to put their political views out there on social media when they are clearly on a platform they use for work?

If you notice, people only love free speech when you agree with them. Once you are on the other side, it’s no longer about free speech.

The best two responses are from this fan: “Mariano Rivera has been in the public sphere for two decades and has never been outspoken politically. This is likely because he’s too busy building churches and homes for impoverished children in Panama with his bare hands, and volunteering his time as a pastor in New Rochelle.”

And this fan: “I’m sure you don’t care but for the record this is the thing that will finally make me unfollow you. You’re entitled to your political opinion & free to express it but I prefer not to watch you shame an all time player & by all accounts a really good person over his opinion.”

Andy Martino, like the rest of the social media warriors, has not responded to these responses but am I surprised? The internet: turning cowards into tough guys daily.

 

Exciting News

I am one of the founders of Vocal+ – and will be writing a weekly blog there as well as still here! My first piece is the following: Here are 5 Reasons WHY you are  Still Single 
You can click on still single and you will be taken directly to the article.  I will be giving some exclusives on my follow up to my best-selling book, “Hello Love, Where’s Cupid? 2nd ed” on Vocal+
I also will be writing about the book here- and I will be holding a contest for the naming the title of the book here!
Stay Tuned!
book

With My Birthday Approaching, Here are 3 Things I Have Learned This Past Year

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Welcome to April, or as I like to call it; the best month ever! Okay, so I am bias to this because my birthday is in this month and it is about 4 days from today. Yippee!

And with my birthday approaching, I started to think about this past year; where I was and where I am heading. If you never read any of my books, then you don’t know that I have had experiences in my life that have been life-changing. Some experiences broke my heart while others just made me stronger and wiser. That’s the thing though, about life- every opportunity, every experience either makes you or breaks you if you let it. And in this past year of my life I have learned some major lessons that I would like to pass on and share with you.

1- There is almost always more than one way to accomplish something. There are always those folks that go for the traditional way, but there are usually multiple alternatives. The alternatives aren’t always better, but some folks don’t even want to know that they exist. You don’t have to do it the way everyone else does. That’s where out of the box thinking comes into play. Some people may be threatened by doing things a different way, but your life shouldn’t be determined by what other people think.

2- Make peace with money. Money doesn’t change people, it unmasks them. There are folks that only care about getting their share of it at whatever the cost. They don’t care about people, they only care about money. I’ve always said that money is evil because it makes people do things that they shouldn’t do just for a piece of it. By all means, make your money, but create your own definition of success when it comes to money. Don’t let it rule your life!

3- Love the process. Everything in life is a process. Everything that you do should largely be about the process, not the outcome. Memories are made because we see every moment of life as a gift. Not everything is going to happen for you overnight. Clients of mine sometimes drive me crazy with this one because they think social media is going to get them success overnight and it NEVER does! Same can be said for relationships. People rush the process of getting to know someone. They focus on that “happy ever after” instead of the “once upon a time.” Every friendship, every romance, every business relationship is a process. When getting started, just get started. Enjoy the process.

Life isn’t perfect and sometimes things will happen that are horrible, but if you remember that everything happens for a reason, it’ll give you a sense of hope. And there’s always hope. To be hopeful is to look on the future positively, to see opportunity in challenges. It’s looking at life as the glass half full rather than the glass half empty. Life is hard and will kick you in the butt if you let it. But hope gives you the strength to keep going. Hope is that voice inside that says, “Yes, you can.” And when you believe that, anything truly is possible.

5 Ways To Love Yourself Everyday

Sleep, wake up, work. And repeat. That’s a daily grind that we all seem to go through daily as we dread the next time the alarm goes off. There’s more to life than work. What is one thing you can do every day to take care of yourself, to gain some important, “me time?”

Start your day off with meditation and exercise.

Sit and focus on how you breathe for at least 1 to 5 minutes or preferably 15 to 20 min. Connect with nature by taking your workouts outside (also great for getting your daily dose of Vitamin D), do some yoga, or simply stretch. Endorphins will surface and lift your spirit and immune system higher. I love going for 2 mile walks.

Read.

Pick a few articles from blogs and websites that you find inspiring and read them throughout the day. Most people don’t’ have time to simply read a book, but if you choose to read a book, make it fictional. The reason is so you can find an escape for at least 15-20 minutes a day reading something that enraptures your imagination.

Put yourself on a schedule so that you make time for play.

Use your vacation days or use a personal day. Even a single mental health day or a short trip out of town is a great mental booster! Get out of your normal routine and do something out of the ordinary. Too often we get use to our comfort zone, that we fall into a rut or we burn out, so use your vacation days before they roll over. Also take time to enjoy the weekends. Weekends with no play are no fun.

Have A Hobby

Letting your creative juices flow with stop you from getting caught up in the monotony of daily life. You also can find it fun and interesting to learn a new skill, or polish up on one that you already have. You could also meet new people as a result of your hobby and join a group or go to a workshop/class on it. Cooking, sewing, woodwork, painting, the ideas are endless and up to you!

Unplug from technology.

What is the first thing people tend to do when they first wake up? They grab their phones, tablets, or laptops and start plugging away. Leave the electronics alone until you’ve given yourself time to get ready for the day ahead. Make time for breakfast, which usually gets ignored or forgotten about and save the email, Facebook, and other social media platforms for the end of your morning ritual.

Have a great Valentine’s Day- Remember to LOVE yourself FIRST.  If you don’t, you can’t expect anyone else too.

hearts

Stop Trusting Viral Videos

 

You go on Facebook or Twitter and there you see a video of folks involved in some type of dispute.

You are automatically outraged! How could this be happening? You comment on every news media outlet on social media and you post it to your own profile.

Guess what?

You are part of the problem that is happening on social media platforms everywhere; you are judging based on ONE VIDEO you saw without seeing the entire incident!

The parts of the video that seem to ALWAYS be posted are the parts that are the “juicy” details that the media knows will have outrage follow.

When multiple videos present multiple possible truths, which one is to be believed? This is the question most don’t ask themselves BEFORE they judge a video. When do they ask this? Most ask this once they realize that they are being duped by the mass media for a reaction that fits their agenda.

Not only this, but on social media it’s so easy to do two things: 1) Lie and 2) Be anonymous. This can especially be done on Twitter. Twitter today has turned into a place you go when you just need to know the gossip and only do it with folks who believe the same as you do. When you find an “outsider” you attack. This is just what the mass media loves and wants. They love tweets from folks who fit their agenda. Right now they love folks who are against the President and all those people who are for him. He is the enemy and they are fighting this battle with their pose on Twitter. When will these folks realize that this can quickly turn against them?

I was ecstatic to see that Twitter suspended the account of the person who started the latest viral lie. But that doesn’t stop these folks because just as quick as they are to get suspended, they can turn around and create a new account. I have said this many times on my radio show, and I probably will say it a million times more; social media was NOT designed for political conversations nor is it the place where folks should be getting their news from. With so many bloggers who have an ax to grind, and folks who believe anything that they are selling, the internet has made it difficult to understand what it true and what is false.

The add the point, on Facebook this week, a woman created a post saying that a certain number of kids went home cancer free, and she wanted folks to share it so she did what you are “supposed to” do, she said, “ I bet you won’t share this!” Boom- over 1 million folks shared it WITHOUT researching just how true the post actually was/is. I can tell you that if kids who had cancer went home cancer free, and it was a huge number, the mass media would cover it. That is a heartwarming story and they do still cover those, especially on social media.

In closing, I will just give this advice to all who are on social media: 1) Be careful what you write and put out there. It can always come back to bite you later. 2) When mixing personal with business, be smart about it. This means not to incorporate politics and religion as those 2 topics can wipe out half your clientele. And finally, 3) Look at social media more as an investment, not just an activity. (Especially if you are a brand or business)

25 Random Things About Me

So, I was thinking…. maybe it would be cool for readers to get to know who I am and not just “read” my blog posts.  Then it hit me…. how about a list of 25 Random Things About Me? Well… here it is in really no order.

  1. Coffee runs through my veins
  2. I enjoy crafting, sewing,and art projects
  3. Baking is a passion
  4. I still love reading an actual paperback
  5. I love my sports teams ( Jets, Rangers, Yankees, and Knicks- NY teams)
  6. Daisies are my favorite flower
  7. My favorite holidays are my birthday, Halloween and Christmas
  8. I started dancing at age 7, was a cheerleader, coached cheerleading and was a choreographer.
  9. My love for writing started in 5th grade
  10. I coached basketball including an AAU team
  11. I won the school spirit award in High School
  12. I hate scary movies
  13. I love all kinds of music but I am not too fond of heavy metal
  14. I was in my local newspaper twice- once when I was 3 and interviewed once when the Knicks fired their head coach
  15. I was also interviewed my the Wall Street Journal
  16. I feed the birds, squirrels, and chipmunks in my backyard every morning. If I don’t they knock on my door. ( Not kidding!)
  17. I still wish on the stars at night
  18. I believe in the magic of Christmas and miracles
  19. Never ask me for directions, you’ll get lost.
  20. I collect tea cups and elephant statues
  21. I was not made for winter
  22. The only insects I like are butterflies and lady bugs
  23. I love giving things and sending cards to people for particular no reason than to make them smile or inspire them
  24. I have written toddler programs for schools
  25. I started my social media career in 2008

Now, I was thinking… I’m tired of all the hate and politics on social media. How about we take social media back for the fun it should be about and the positivity?

Take the #Random25Challenge and post 25 Random things about you. Use the hashtag when posting.

PS: So, there ya go. Now you know a little bitty more about me. Who are you?