Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

NFL athletes, dating, and mamma’s boys….

It’s an exciting time for a college athlete when they are drafted by an NFL team. Their dream of playing in the NFL is now coming to life. During this year’s past NFL draft we saw many guys that had their dreams come true and we also saw some guys get drafted by their hometown teams. Imagine not only getting drafted but also getting drafted by the team you rooted for or the team in the same state as your college! That must feel surreal.

But there has to come a point when their moms realize that their “little boys” are no longer seen as “little boys” and that they are seen as men. Last year’s draft pick Zach Wilson of the Jets has a wonderful relationship with his mom, he does, but this past weekend he was going to surprise her and fly home form Mother’s Day but she was in Florida with I would assume, her daughter’s All-Star Cheerleading team. I mean, hey, if that doesn’t tell you that he appreciates his mom, nothing will. But here’s my problem:

Check out what she wrote in her IG story:

Notice that she said, “My cute Zach…” Um, okay, Mrs. Wilson, he’s not 5 anymore, he’s WAY more than five…. calling him “cute” is okay when he was younger but he’s a GROWN man who plays in the NFL… calling him cute makes he look like a mamma’s boy and trust me, no guy in the NFL wants to be teased for that. Yes, he loves you, but he’s a man. Calling him cute on a public forum as he’s mom…. (insert not amused emoji)

Which brings me to the dating topic of conversation. Actually, it’s two-parts.
1) Guys that are “supposed” to be seen as tough guys, ya know, the ones in the NFL, can not be seen as mamma’s boys. Period. Yes, it is a sweet gesture to see them buy their moms houses, cars, etc, but that’s where the line is drawn. Should it be? That’s a different question, buy guys are picked on in the locker room about lots of things. Zach has come off as a guy that looks uncomfortable when his team mates are doing stupid high school shit, (AKA crushing up beer cans on your forehead, or the latest stupid video of the guys who were drafted last year videoing a message to the rookies – which really looked high school-ish.) Not only does he look uncomfortable doing some of those type things, and seriously who wouldn’t, but he looks uncomfortable at the podium talking to the press at times. Now would be a great time to tell you all that girls/women DO NOT WANT to DATE a mamma’s boy- EVER! We don’t want to have to have our relationship be interfered with due to him trying to please his mom over us. Also, we ain’t going to do all the mom shit for you either, in case you were wondering.

2) As I talk about dating, if you missed my podcast last week… The recordings of a fan girl #sarcasm I brought up the fact that when a guy/girl gets dumped they are the ones who go to gym to get a “new body” as a revenge to the person who dumped them. It’s not secret that Zach broke up with his girlfriend, Abbey. Well, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that after they broke up he started getting ripped.
Here’s the picture of him now:

Of course most of the Jets fans are making a big deal of this but seriously, the only reason he looks like this is because his girlfriend broke up with him. She stills looks the same FYI. AND whenever ANYONE says that the break up was “mutual,” trust me, it wasn’t. One party decided that they wanted to break up, and the other party just went along with it. The worse thing to EVER do is to go back to an Ex. Seriously, they call them ex’s for a reason.

One more thing about NFL players and seeing these guys do these intense diets and workouts. If you notice about the NFL 15 years ago, guys weren’t obsessed the same way they are now. And if you notice, guys 15 years ago didn’t get hurt as much as they do now simply because they did not fuel their bodies with only protein, which is the worst thing to do! I have a client who has a protein diet and with that diet they are told NOT to workout that much. Yes, you read that correctly. These guys work out like I have never seen, out all these protein / whey powders in their bodies… and then get hurt. Seriously, it is something to think about since their careers are not a given when it comes to injuries. Finally, let me say this about NFL players “claiming” that they treat their bodies like a temple. If that were true, they wouldn’t use tinder or any other dating app, and put STD’s in their bodies by having unprotected one night stands. And even with a condom… why would you waste that energy on someone who doesn’t matter to you and who isn’t meant to be in your life? If you gonna use Twitter to preach it, y’all better be living it.

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Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

Words Matter: Be Ashamed If You Body Shame Others Online

Yesterday was my cousin’s wedding ceremony.  Due to Covid19, the wedding has been postponed twice, so they decided to have a legal ceremony on the day that they had their first date.  That’s not what this post is about, but it’s the partly the reason I am writing it.  Yesterday I wore this little black dress that I recently bought.  It was a dress that was not loose fitting, but a little snug in the midsection.  Every time I ever need to dress up to go to a function, I spend hours in the mirror criticizing myself about how I “think” people are going to perceive me. ( Of course I am wrong, but my brain doesn’t think so at the time.)  I put this dress on and spun around looking at myself in the mirror, looking to see just how much of midsection was “noticeable.”   I hate to go out and not look “skinny,” in whatever I am wearing.  I say to myself that If I don’t feel comfortable that I will have a lousy time.

Yesterday was very different.

I usually end up talking myself out of wearing something and put on something else, but yesterday I didn’t. I kept that little black dress on and went to the wedding and enjoyed myself.  Now, I am not fat. I am not obese. I am not heavy or big-boned. I am of a normal weight for a short girl.  I don’t wear a size 0 or size 4 or even a size 6.  Depending on the brand, I am any where from a size 8 to a size 12.  Seriously, the way that clothes are made today is unreal.  I should be the same size no matter what brand I buy, but I am not.

This got me thinking yesterday of all the body shaming going down on social media lately. I see young girls on TikTok posting videos of,  “How to get skinny.”   I see young women posting videos of them telling others that they have to get back to being skinny and so forth.  I also see guys, body shaming women.  Some of the comments are so over the top nasty.

1) ” I don’t know what you are doing but you look so much better now! Look at all the weight you lost!”

2) “If you lose weight someone will love you.”

3) “Look at that fat body. What a waste of a pretty face.”

4) “You don’t have the right body to be doing that.”

5) “Why are you posting a picture of you in a bikini when you are no where near being a bikini model!”

6) Now that Pat Mahomes got his big contract he can now dump that disgusting girlfriend.”  ( yesterday, he got the biggest contract in NFL history)

Now body shaming isn’t just about saying rude and obnoxious things, but it’s also when a guy ONLY pays a woman a compliment on HOW she looks.  ( Beautiful, gorgeous, hot, sizzling, etc,”  Why can’t guys ever just compliment  a girl/woman without using her looks as part of the compliment?

Now we all can do one day with a bad hair day, or wish that parts of our bodies were different, but sometimes it is overwhelming which stops us from doing all kinds of things.  We start to develop anxiety about our bodies. We start to question why someone would even want to love us or even be with us in a romantic situation.

This is why body shaming has to stop.

We then become ashamed of our muffin tops, love handles, or flat bums. We then pick apart other parts of our body like our noses, thighs, arms,  and legs. And for what? To be accepted by a bunch of immature, self-conceited , superficial guys who don’t look like the Ken doll that they should be as they want to be with ever girl that resembles Barbie!

Give me a break!

Looks don’t make the man or the woman.  What should matter most is the person they are on inside; their personality.  Would you rather be with someone so vain or be with someone who was caring, compassionate, funny, and who supported your vision for the future?

Looks fade, who that person is from the inside out stays forever.

The next time you see someone body shaming someone else on social media tell them this; ““I do not give a &$#! about what men think about my body. I don’t care about what women think about my body. My body is not for other people, and the only person whose opinion matters about how I look is mine.”

 

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

Yes, You Can Lose Weight Eating This!

If you have been on Facebook lately, you may have come across an article that claims that if you eat chocolate cake, you can lose weight. Usually, every time you see stuff like this on Facebook, it’s not true.   According to a scientific study done by the University of Tel Aviv, eating chocolate cake could actually help you on your weight loss quest, so long as you don’t to go over the 600 calories portion and you remember to balance this with carbohydrates and proteins.

I saw this and I was curious to see if this could actually work.  According to the study, our metabolism is much more active in the morning, which is why our body is more able to burn calories early in the day. Best of all, by eating chocolate cake as part of your breakfast, you will avoid having cravings all day long.  It sounds too good to be true.

On August 1st, I decided to start my experiment by just eating a normal size portion of chocolate cake.  Now, you can pretty much eat chocolate cupcakes, chocolate whoopie pies, donuts, or cake. You can make your own or but store bought. The only thing I did when I bought store made cake was check the calories, fat, sugar and carb content so I chose the ones with the least in each category.

I ate my cake either at 6:30am before I worked out by 10am each morning. The ONLY thing I had for breakfast was my usual cup of coffee, a glass of water after I worked out and my piece of cake.   Now, you HAVE to work out…. there’s no way around this. I usually work out by doing my cheerleading warm ups, yoga stretching, and, stairs, walking 2 miles.  I do this at least 5 days a week.   I would then eat a healthy snack later on in the morning if I got hungry, but for the most part, I was full all the way until lunch. I also drank water, so that is also making my stomach believe it’s full.

Today it’s August 22nd and I am happy to report that I lost 5 pounds and about 1 inch on my waistline.

This is NOT considered a diet. This was just a happy study to use as an experiment.A serious diet contains much more.  But I will say, instead of doing those shake diets to lose 5 pounds, I would consider doing this instead. As always with every diet, it involves exercise. Please always be careful with what exercise program you participate in and always do your research before trying any type of diet.

If you would like my chocolate cake recipe, please follow my page, Clever Cakes, and look for my upcoming recipe book, “Love at First Bite,” being released this September.

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Love at First cover revised 3-12-19