Yesterday was my cousin’s wedding ceremony. Due to Covid19, the wedding has been postponed twice, so they decided to have a legal ceremony on the day that they had their first date. That’s not what this post is about, but it’s the partly the reason I am writing it. Yesterday I wore this little black dress that I recently bought. It was a dress that was not loose fitting, but a little snug in the midsection. Every time I ever need to dress up to go to a function, I spend hours in the mirror criticizing myself about how I “think” people are going to perceive me. ( Of course I am wrong, but my brain doesn’t think so at the time.) I put this dress on and spun around looking at myself in the mirror, looking to see just how much of midsection was “noticeable.” I hate to go out and not look “skinny,” in whatever I am wearing. I say to myself that If I don’t feel comfortable that I will have a lousy time.
Yesterday was very different.
I usually end up talking myself out of wearing something and put on something else, but yesterday I didn’t. I kept that little black dress on and went to the wedding and enjoyed myself. Now, I am not fat. I am not obese. I am not heavy or big-boned. I am of a normal weight for a short girl. I don’t wear a size 0 or size 4 or even a size 6. Depending on the brand, I am any where from a size 8 to a size 12. Seriously, the way that clothes are made today is unreal. I should be the same size no matter what brand I buy, but I am not.
This got me thinking yesterday of all the body shaming going down on social media lately. I see young girls on TikTok posting videos of, “How to get skinny.” I see young women posting videos of them telling others that they have to get back to being skinny and so forth. I also see guys, body shaming women. Some of the comments are so over the top nasty.
1) ” I don’t know what you are doing but you look so much better now! Look at all the weight you lost!”
2) “If you lose weight someone will love you.”
3) “Look at that fat body. What a waste of a pretty face.”
4) “You don’t have the right body to be doing that.”
5) “Why are you posting a picture of you in a bikini when you are no where near being a bikini model!”
6) Now that Pat Mahomes got his big contract he can now dump that disgusting girlfriend.” ( yesterday, he got the biggest contract in NFL history)
Now body shaming isn’t just about saying rude and obnoxious things, but it’s also when a guy ONLY pays a woman a compliment on HOW she looks. ( Beautiful, gorgeous, hot, sizzling, etc,” Why can’t guys ever just compliment a girl/woman without using her looks as part of the compliment?
Now we all can do one day with a bad hair day, or wish that parts of our bodies were different, but sometimes it is overwhelming which stops us from doing all kinds of things. We start to develop anxiety about our bodies. We start to question why someone would even want to love us or even be with us in a romantic situation.
This is why body shaming has to stop.
We then become ashamed of our muffin tops, love handles, or flat bums. We then pick apart other parts of our body like our noses, thighs, arms, and legs. And for what? To be accepted by a bunch of immature, self-conceited , superficial guys who don’t look like the Ken doll that they should be as they want to be with ever girl that resembles Barbie!
Give me a break!
Looks don’t make the man or the woman. What should matter most is the person they are on inside; their personality. Would you rather be with someone so vain or be with someone who was caring, compassionate, funny, and who supported your vision for the future?
Looks fade, who that person is from the inside out stays forever.
The next time you see someone body shaming someone else on social media tell them this; ““I do not give a &$#! about what men think about my body. I don’t care about what women think about my body. My body is not for other people, and the only person whose opinion matters about how I look is mine.”