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Good Girls, Bad Boys, Nice Guys, to Bad Girls

Here is part 2 of the preview “Relationship Impossible”

Some guys have created this image of this “ideal” woman, so when regular women; regular, wonderful, real women fall short, they reject them. That way they never have to settle down and then everyone can still feel sorry about poor, lonely you.

I’m not saying that guys should just ‘settle” but they aren’t going to be happy if every time they discover a flaw in someone, they go to somebody else because every woman has her own flaws; no body is perfect. (And vice versa) Find that someone who makes you better, without trying to change who you are

Now before guys get their pants in a bunch, to be fair, I have seen guys do just this; they find a woman who is a down to Earth, “good woman” and then they find a flaw in her like, “Not pretty enough” or “too strong minded,” so this way they avoid commitment because to them the “bad girls” are more attractive than the “good ones.”

This is the reason that guys are hitting on girls on social media at a high rate and hooking up with girls left, center, and right on dating apps. They want the one and done relationships instead of the ones where they have to commit to one girl and “build a relationship” with her. That takes time, energy, effort and work.

Men find bad sexy because the things they plan on doing to bad women are likewise “naughty.” Bad is naughty and naughty is sexy. Good, on the other hand, sounds boring. Their definition of sexy is misinterpreted. And then of course, these same guys think that “bad girls” are better in bed than “good girls” which has been proven to be a myth. The “bad girl” that men are so taken by at times isn’t someone who is morally corrupt, but the challenge that a bad girl poses. One of the factors that makes a relationship with a bad girl fun yet short lived is the fact that most ‘bad girls’ ride big on the persona they create. Take a close look on Instagram and you will get a sense of which girls have created a “fake persona,” to gather attention, while the real, down to Earth girls show their true character online.

For a relationship to stay you need character. Personality is a superficial connect, whereas with character, you look for connection. So for a long term relationship, there has to be a shift from a superficial level to a deeper level – and that is why guys have to “test the road” with bad girls first before they settle down with a “good girl.”

Then there is the saying, “Nice guys finish last.”

The “nice” guy is the one who covers up his incompetence and lack of bravery by being patient and understanding. He’s not really being nice: like every single male on the planet, he wants sex with you, but he takes backdoor and windows to enter your kingdom. There are also those guys that fall into this category:

The too afraid to ask you out “nice guy” who will pass himself “ just a friend” in hopes that you will one day see how great he is, therefore, being the one who asks him out. Then he romances the hell out out of you in hopes that he no longer will be in the “friend zone” but moved to the “boyfriend zone.”

Of course the guy stuck in the friend zone will be thinking that the girl he has the hots for only wants to be with a, “bad boy.” You know the type: The “bad boys” that some women are attracted to are usually nothing more than punks, thugs, and assholes who believe that society’s rules do not apply to them. They are someone who do dangerously interesting stuff that differ from the so called boring everyday of expected routine behavior of other men.

If we say that “bad boys” are not outright criminals, but abusive, arrogant, manipulative men. Well, such men don’t usually show this side of their personality to a woman they want to attract. They are predators, their purpose is to attract potential “prey”, not to scare it off. Abusers and manipulators don’t appear as such until the “prey” has fallen into the trap. So, we cannot say that women are attracted to the abusers or manipulators as such. Women are attracted to the personality they want to show. The issue is actually that abusers and manipulators find it easier to appear confident and comfortable in their skin. On one hand, because they can play any role they want and usually have a lot of practice doing it. On the other hand, because they really don’t care about other people, they don’t really care if they succeed with one particular woman or not. They just move to the next target.

The majority of women are not attracted to “bad boys” because they are “bad”, but because it is easier for such men to make initial contact and take it from there. “Bad boy” romances, being more forbidden/against norm/full of regret stories/full of drama/etc, are simply better topics for gossip than a nice, normal, quiet, healthy romance- think about all the movies, TV shows, and books you have read and tell me which types people prefer. Of course, when you turn on Hallmark Channel, the girl always gets the boy she wants and the bad boy turns good at the end, which in reality is usually never the case.

Good girls, bad boys, nice guys, to bad girls, there is always going to be stereotypes of how people behave when it comes to sex, romance and relationships.

What it should always come down to is finding the right partner. One of the ways to do that is to find someone you can talk to. Being able to talk with your partner about important topics is probably worth more than physical beauty, money or power. You might disagree at times, but by being able to be open and honest with each other, leads you to fulfill what you want out of the relationship. When you make each other feel loved and emotionally fulfilled, the rest starts to fall into place. ( Part 3 coming soon…. )

You can purchase my best-selling book which was also nominated for Book of the Year, “Hello Love, Where’s Cupid, 2nd Ed”

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The Blog Series: Book Preview of Relationship Impossible

Introduction: Where we left off in Hello Love, Where’s Cupid?

When I set out to write, “Hello Love, Where’s Cupid,” I had no idea that it would hit a lot of nerves with people, on both sides of the argument, in the matter of online dating. Not only did it hit a lot of nerves for those who “believe” in online dating, but I had many questions left to answer. Let’s dive right in to what was discussed:

I talked about social media and relationships, when I mentioned the following:

“Here’s the thing that most don’t realize: In this age of social media, we get emotionally attached and connected to people we don’t even know every day! The moment you start talking to someone every day, the moment you get their phone number, and the moment you talk about (and some promise) to meet -up, you are in a relationship with that person!

Some are friendships, yes, but I am talking about romantic relationships. So for those keeping the score at home, if what I described above sounds like you, congratulations, you are in an online relationship!”

Before social media came to be, our personal and professional relationships were separated by office walls. Now, through the use of social media, they aren’t. I discussed how social media has effected our lives, for the good and for the bad. That then took us into the discussion on online dating and dating apps.

Misrepresenting yourself on a dating site or app is as easy as a click here and a click there.

See, when you meet someone either at a party or at a bar, you see the person for who the person is ( look wise – no chance to use a fake picture ) and for the most part, they aren’t going to “make up a name” like they can and some do online. You can then actually get their name and do a background check on them yourself. With these dating sites, it’s hard to know if they are being truthful as to who they really are. Another thing that you can decipher in person that you really cannot evaluate online is another person’s sense of humor and connection. Reading a profile just isn’t going to cut it. They can “say” they are the funniest thing around since Seinfeld, but saying it online and actually being funny in person are two different things. And some of the services the websites offer might backfire, causing users to overlook people they might be happy with while choosing people they really don’t “match” up well with due to their answers and how they set up their profiles. At a party you may have two people to choose from, where as on the Internet dating sites, you have hundreds, thousands of different suitors to look over. I also broke the dating code, so to speak, by telling you how each site that “claimed” they had a scientific way of “matching” folks to the “correct” partner worked.

I then got into the conversation on what every site has failed to recognize is that there really is no way to successfully predict that a relationship will last, especially when the most crucial information is not collected:

A) Individual Characteristics of each partner which include personalities, attitudes and if each partner is relatively stable.

B) Quality of interactions – This can only be measured in person, not online. This includes how well the couple will communicate and also support each other.

C) Unforeseen Circumstances – This includes stress, financial problems, cultures, family issues, etc.

With this said, users beware that the only ultimate way to know if a relationship is going to last, is actual face-to-face interaction.

This then went into the stories about scams, lies, and the studies that show that online dating/ dating apps do not work the way they are intended to work, and I list those sites.

I also gave folks a little reminder, “ Your future partner is not a link on a website, he or she is a human being.”

Not only did I talk about the reasons why no one should be using these sites, I even gave you tips if you do want to try these sites. (What can I say, I care.)

I gave tips on how to win an ex back, even though I am totally against going back with an ex for this reason alone: They are called an “ex” for a reason. Now, I am all for second chances, but you need to be extremely sure and confident that the relationship with your ex is worth it.

Also on the table of discussion, was if you are a guy who is looking for a relationship, I gave tips directly from the mouths of single women everywhere. I can tell you all that the first thing that bothers single women is the fact that men today have forgotten about chivalry.

Of course I had advice for women too when I said:

“I can’t make people value me. All I can do is show them who I am, what I feel, and what I believe in. It’s up to them to realize my worth. And what every woman needs to learn is the difference between what you’re getting and what you deserve. Let the universe know this by the way you treat yourself.”

My favorite chapter, and everyone’s favorite chapter was 10 where I used some of my past relationships as lessons for what NOT to do. One of our best learning tools is looking back at our mistakes.

Each relationship has made me into who I am today. There is no way around that. I have not only grown as a person, but I have grown thicker skin, have taken more risks, and learned that life is short. Here are the lessons from that chapter that I wanted to pass along to all of you:

THE KEYS OF WHAT NOT TO DO:

a- Never judge anyone without getting to know them yourself.

b- Just because your boyfriend breaks up with you, doesn’t mean that you need to date someone else right away to replace him. Learn to be alone and recover first, then date later.

c- You don’t need to use your sexuality as a way to gain attention. Use it as a powerful tool to boost yourself confidence instead.

d- Never judge a book by its cover. Just because he looks like a Calvin Klein underwear model ( and is one) does not mean that his personality is as “hot”

e-Don’t give a guy that many chances. The truth is, if he wanted to be with you, he would be with you. Period.

f- If someone shows you their true colors, don’t try and paint a different picture.

g- Finally, don’t take a person you meet online at face value. It’s easy for them to lie about who they are and if they are really using you in their little game. Google them. Find out if they are hiding anything. Always LISTEN to your instincts. When someone is using you, playing you, or things aren’t adding up, your instincts will never lie to you.

To note the 2 relationships I briefly mentioned in the book: The 23 year old and the divorced dad who was in his 40s, those relationships went south. The 23 year old was too scared to turn our relationship into something serious because he literally was afraid of what his friends thought. Yes, guys are that immature and stupid. Also, strong women scare weak men. The 45ish divorced dad proved once and for all that NO ONE should get involved with a soon-to-be divorcee – RED FLAGS were everywhere and eventually were received, noted and dealt with in a timely manner. Both relationships were in separate years too.

Then we pivoted from that to of course talking about some serious topics in the dating world. When you hear the phrase, abusive relationship, usually domestic violence comes to mind, but emotional abuse is often minimized, yet it can leave deep and lasting scars. And the truth is emotional abuse doesn’t just happen to women; it also happens to men and the problem is often overlooked, excused, or denied.

There are 3 different types of abuse that happen in relationships: 1) Domestic Violence 2) Rape and 3) Dating abuse. These are topics that women try and avoid talking about because they are embarrassed to admit that they have been in an abusive relationship or they feel ashamed that they succumbed to a man who tricked them into believing that he loved her by abusing her.

Abuse isn’t always obvious.

Here are some red flags that everyone reading this should know and note:

  • Call you names and put you down
  • Call or text you throughout the day to check on you
  • Keep you from friends or family
  • Control your $
  • Threaten to hurt you, himself/herself, your pet or loved one
  • Hit, Kick, Push, Punch, Slap, Pinch, Choke or Bite you
  • Destroy property or throw things
  • Tell you who you can see or what job you can have
  • Tell you how to dress
  • Act overly jealous
  • Withhold medication or health care
  • Make you have sex or do sexual acts that you don’t want to do
  • Threaten to “out” you if you are gay or lesbian
  • Constantly criticize
  • Embarrass you
  • Blame you for everything – including the abusive behavior

What usually happens after this happens the first time is that the victim makes statements like:

“My partner isn’t violent all the time – they love me”

“Things will get better – they didn’t mean it”

“Maybe it’s my fault”

“I’m scared of what will happen if I leave them”

And the abuse continues.

Remember, most relationships start off with each person acting their best and seeing the other with rose-colored glasses. It never starts off on an abusive note.

There were many other topics we discussed in “Hello Love, Where’s Cupid 2nd Ed” and the feedback from the book was tremendous. Which leads me to writing this follow up book, “Relationship Impossible”

Here is a brief summary of the topics that will be discussed in the book- note that I am not mentioning EVERY topic.

A. How Covid 19 affected dating

B. How Dating apps and sites actually work

C. Social Media’s Shallow Pitfalls

D. Athletes. Social Media, and Dating Apps

E. Myths: sexual myths, Out of My League Myths, etc.

F. The 7 Selfish Traits

G. How The Me Too Movement Changed Dating

H. The most dangerous / safe states for online dating

And much more.

Of course some of the topics that I have blogged about over the years, will be mentioned and some topics are those that trend on social media like the following: TO BE CONTINUED….. ( Oh, just you wait… )

If you would like to read Hello Love Where’s Cupid the 2nd Ed, which was nominated for Book of the Year in 2016, click here or click here

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

The Crazy Folks Are Found On Tinder

As I get my upcoming book in order, I had to go back on dating apps. Yikes! So Here are a couple “winners” I found as to what type of guy you find on dating apps, I mean hook up apps, like Tinder:

Bull, 38
Tall. Sane. Clean. Educated. Repectfully dominant and well eqipped. Thorough. Verbal, Love roleplay or fantasy. We only have 1 life to live. ( Sounds like someone who is looking for that girl who wants to hook up and just head on over to the bedroom, or hotel room and get some and then it’s onto the next.)

Leo, 41
Married dad looking for a submissive to have my way with. ( MARRIED… Hello? Do I need say more?)

Hammond, 41

Online dating is so hard when you’re a truthful person. I feel like it makes you savage and makes you jaded. Most don’t read the profile because all they are looking for is sex and I’m not on here for that. (Sounds like he is trying to sound like he’s not interested in hooking up but then why is he even on this app that is all about the hook up?)

Kevin, 34

6’3 = I’m taller than you! I’m not going to remember that I have this app about after 2 months, but message me and I’ll get an alerty and check it.
Giving this a try because Covid makes it impossible to meet people the old fashion way.
“You look so much cuter with something in your mouth” I hate Nickelback but once in awhile they get it right. ( So, Covid is making it impossible to meet people BUT yet, here he is trying to get a hook up online. Yay! Let’s have a-kind-of-hook-up-on-Zoom-or-Facetime! )

Zack, 30

I got a B+ on Human Sexuality in College. So let’s just say that I know my way around a *checks poorly scribbled notes*

Clitoris ( And Zack’s profile picture of him half naked in a pool, where do I sign up? – That’s Sarcasm Folks.)

And …. yes, not only do guys have poor choice of words in these bios, but their profile pictures are another thing all together. The sad thing is, women are falling for this crap day in and day out or they wouldn’t have that many subscribers to the app.

As one guy put it, “With these dating apps, he says, “you’re always sort of prowling. You could talk to two or three girls at a bar and pick the best one, or you can swipe a couple hundred people a day – the sample size is so much larger. It’s setting up two or three Tinder dates a week and, chances are, sleeping with all of them, so you could rack up 100 girls you’ve slept with in a year.” – ( and let’s add the spread of STD’s, other diseases, and yes, unwanted pregnancies.)

If you seriously think about it rock stars and professional athletes have enjoyed easily accessible casual sex for decades. Now with these apps, access to all these women who want to just “do it” makes it one thousand times easier. Tinder allow everyone to seek brief validation in the form of casual sex with a stranger. Why do women, who in the age of “Me Too,” want to play the game by the guys rules? What women on Tinder have not realized yet is the fact that men you meet on Tinder most likely are not available; look at the list above, just about all those bios I listed maybe one guy is “available” for a relationship.

Remember ladies, no matter how good you are in the sack, you are not going to turn a casual sex with a guy into a meaningful relationship- EVER. The guy will remember you, There are 3 types of women in a guy’s mind:

The hook up 2am girl – they would never date or have a long term relationship with her only sex. (These are those girls who are also “good in the sack” )

Friend Zone – if you aren’t attracted to each other then it’s going to be impossible to get out of the friend zone.

Wife material- He sees that you are smart, attractive and he sees that you have a lot to offer.

Do you really think these apps are going to make a guy look for wife material?

If you’re looking for a serious relationship, but you allow someone into your life in a “casual way,” then that’s what you get. If you instead hold out for someone who is also looking for the commitment you are, then you’ll get that instead.

The choice is up to you. Choose wisely.

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Christmas Truly Is The Season Of Love

As I sit down to put together my next book, “Relationship Impossible,” I can’t help but think about the timing, as the book is about love, so too, is the season of Christmas.

I would be amiss not to talk about love and Christmas.

One of the things that bother me each year, is the fact how people want to throw a wrench in kids belief in Santa. “Santa isn’t real. Santa only brings toys, We shouldn’t let kids believe that expensive toys are from him, and so forth. These are things that people say, especially in the mom groups on Facebook.

I think people have lost sight as to who Santa truly is and what the season of Christmas is really about- hint, it’s not about the materialistic gifts.

Santa is more than just about gifts- it’s about the season of love and miracles. The focus is on the gifts but gifts for many can be many different things. Some wish for love. Some wish for romance. Some wish to get that dream job they always wanted. Some wish to be able to feed their families. Some wish to become parents. Some wish to be able to keep their homes. Some wish to be able to find their way.

Gifts don’t necessarily have to be materialistic this time of year. That is why the season is so magical and full of possibilities. Can we stop telling parents and people how to handle Santa and try to “force” others not to believe? Why do people want to ruin it for kids who WANT to believe? Heck I still believe in Santa because I believe in the spirit of the season!

If you want to know why the world is so cold, it’s because 1) people have forgotten how to say thank you and 2) people have forgotten how to have faith.

If only people had a little more love to give to others without expecting anything in return this world would be a better place. That’s part of the problem. People today expect others to give and give and then are never grateful that they received. If someone gives of their heart to you, shows you support, encourages you, always say thank you.

That is why most people run from relationships, especially during the holiday season. They feel overwhelmed, frustrated, confused, hurt, and used.

In today’s world with dating apps, people tend to run from the hard relationships and aim for the easier ones. But as we have learned in 2020, life wasn’t meant to be easy.

It’s not easy with Covid to be able to “reach out” to others this year, but this holiday season I am encouraging and challenging you to approach sad or difficult relationships with extra love and grace. Rather than dwell on what might be, focus on what is right before you now. Stop playing possible scenarios in your head and go for what is immediately in front of you. I always write about knowing your value and your worth, and never settling, but so many times I see people use that as an excuse to throw away a perfectly good relationship.

The holiday season is when so many relationships break apart. Holiday expenses often equal pressure, especially when you are in a relationship. Whether you just started dating, have been together for years, or are married. Re-read the above: Gifts for many people can be many different things. If someone only cares about the materialistic things, and doesn’t value the gifts of encouragement, support, patience, and understanding, then they truly don’t grasp the concept of love.

Another reason couples break up at the holidays is because sometimes people don’t like where they wind up in the pecking order. Like I said above, people expect things from others, and when they don’t get it or when they give and the other person doesn’t show gratitude it makes you think and shift your priorities.

What people misunderstand is that, it’s not just the phrase “I love you” that’s important for others to hear. You never know how often others receive positive words about themselves from others. We should offer life-giving words whenever we have the opportunity. That is why the Christmas season is about love. It’s not in the gifts we give, but how we express our feelings towards those who we love. The challenge is to continue to love in tangible ways the rest of the year.

To those who struggle with the idea of finding that “perfect romance” or wanting that “easy relationship” this time of year, I say this: When we help people know they’re loved and inspire others to pass on the love they’ve received from God, then we’re spreading the true hope of Christmas. Make the most of this season’s opportunities and spread love everywhere you go. You never know what can transpire from spreading joy and love to people around you.

And to those who are trying to find their way just know that the further you are from where you started, the closer you get to where you belong. Sometimes you end up right where you started because that’s the place you are supposed to be. The signs are always in front of you. That’s why we are supposed to look ahead, and not backwards.

Merry Christmas.

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

What Not To Write In Your Dating Profile

Behind the scenes, I love judgmental clichés, because they allow me to instantly filter out people who think in black and white. Life isn’t black and white. It’s grey. Here are some profiles that drive me crazy… starting with women:

  • Profiles that begin with “I’m divorced.”

    So… being divorced describes you in a nutshell? You want a man who has all his ducks in a row, but the first thing about yourself that you want the world to know is that you come from a failed marriage?

    My mom knows Larry Bird’s sister-in-law. (Apparently one of the most annoying people ever.) Larry Bird’s sister-in-law always introduces herself as “Hi, I’m Larry Bird’s sister-in-law,” and then her name.

    FYI Two recent presidents of the United States were raised by single mothers.

Another stupid thing to put in your dating profile:

“You must have a strong relationship with Jesus Christ.”

That’s cool. Nothing against that. I’m a Christian myself. But if you have such a profound relationship with Jesus, why do you have three children by three different fathers and have never been married once?

How about this one?

” Must be close to your family”

What if this is my family? I have together my shit got, but they have not. How close should I get?

Another favorite of mine is: “must have shit together”

There are stupid things I see daily on EVERY dating app out there. So here are my top 5:

Stupid Thing #1) “No drama” – Thank Heaven you put that out there; I never would’ve have known!! Swiping left..

Stupid Thing #2) “I’m BAaacckkk!” – Thank God you got recycled back into the pool (again): it just wasn’t the same here without you! Swiping left, faster…

Stupid Thing #3) “I love my kids” – Yay, here’s your Father of the Year Award and your Mr. Roger’s Dad Sweater… This is a waste of space: even John Wayne Gacy loved his fu*ing kids… next!

Stupid Thing #4) “Just looking!” – Newsflash, Dumbass: That’’s what EVERYONE on these sites are doing!

Stupid Thing #5) “[If you wanna know] Just ask”– So, you’re a lazy, conversationally empty vacuum that can’t put forth any effort. Okay, I’m not shaving my legs, but I’ll happily use you for a free dinner… Nope, not even for a good steak with blue cheese crumbles…

BONUS: Stupid Thing #6) The one that used to make me want to say…really? Where they mention long walks. I have never liked long walks anywhere… on the beach, shopping, malls or any place else. I don’t like woods or forests or deserted islands either. I don’t like desert walks, snow walks or river walks. Walks? Walks to where? And why are we walking?

These are the profiles that keep people binge-watching Netflix…



Just say it, you want a man with a big checking account. The only plainer English than that is:

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What The Beach Can Teach You About Relationships

While at the beach, one summer, I remembered how the weather went from clear and sunny, to cloudy and stormy in a flash. The waves were crashing, the wind was blowing and the lightning was remarkable. Then about two hours later, the clouds vanished, the sun came out shining and the storm was over. That got me thinking about relationships.
Sometimes a relationship can start out sunny and in a blink of an eye it can get stormy out of the blue. Sometimes a relationship can be just like the ocean; calm one minute and then stormy the next. Sometimes a relationship can get very stormy and you think it is never going to get better when all of a sudden, the sun comes out, the skies clear, and you feel that the relationship just took a major step forward for the better.
People these days are so quick to end a relationship when times gets stormy. They want the “sunny skies” all the time, but in reality that is just a fantasy. We are human therefore it is normal to disagree, it is normal to fight, and it is even healthy to have arguments from time to time. Not one relationship goes through life without a disagreement from time to time. The movies and TV shows you watch that show how perfect relationships are, are simply fake. The scripts that show a conflict in a relationship and how “easy and quick” it is “fixed,” has poisoned our minds. It is a mistake to think that your life can be mirrored from the movies and TV shows you watch.
Ever hear of Cinderella and Prince Charming? Growing up with the fairy tale,  that one day a tall, handsome man is going to come riding into town and sweep me off my feet is the reason why many women have an unrealistic view on love. The same could be said about men having unrealistic view on sex thanks to porn. But getting back to to how being at the beach has made me think more and more about relationships.
The beach is just like a relationship whereas when you stumble on a seashell that you had no intention of looking for or finding, your excitement for finding that seashell is overwhelming. The same could be said for relationships. When you aren’t looking, that is when love finds you. Love is a funny thing, the harder you look to find it, the harder it is to find. But once you stop looking, someone will walk into your life and you’ll find it.
I hate seeing girls act desperate for a man these days.  They are on dating apps, social media apps, all for the purpose of finding their one true love.  They are going about it wrong.  They call it falling in love because you just fall. You don’t force yourself to trip. Lighthouses don’t move around looking for boats. They stay in one place and shine, letting the boats come to them. Just remember that, the person who dances with you in the rain will most likely walk with you in the storm. And that is the best relationship to have and to find.

 

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**Sneak Peek**

Here is a quick sneak peek of the follow up to my best seller, “Hello Love, Where’s Cupid 2nd Ed” which I am in the process of putting together now.

First the title:  I will release the name of the title on my IGTV series: Behind the Scenes: The Diary Of A Social Gal

Secondly The Content:  There will be 10 chapters in the book.  Most of them will be about dating apps and online dating.  There also will be a chapter or two about social media dating, which is trending up this year as a place where folks believe they can meet their “special someone” without having to deal with scams, cheaters and those who are looking for hook ups.

Thirdly: I will talk about women issues, give men some advice about pick up lines and how to actually pick a woman up the decent way, and update you on some of the stories I told in the previous book.

Fourth: I will talk about athletes, dating apps and……

It’s going to be an AWESOME book and I can’t wait to share it with all of you!

update

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

Facebook Enters The Love Game

Facebook is in it for love and they want you in it with them. So how does it work?

Dating is now integrated with Facebook groups and events. If people in a group you’re in have created Dating profiles or if they’re planning to attend the same Facebook events, they might show up in your matches. Facebook Dating is free and contains no ads or in-app purchases. Your Facebook Dating profile will be separate from your main one, but it will tap existing features such as events and groups, as well as your network of friends to identify “secret crushes.” ( Which is a bad, bad idea!)

Facebook Dating won’t suggest your friends as people you might want to date. Your dating profile also won’t show up on your news feed or be visible to friends; it’s only for others using the dating service. Facebook insists it won’t use information gleaned from your dating profiles for advertising and says there won’t be ads on Facebook Dating. ( Can we really trust this?)
To prevent unwanted messages, photos and spam, Facebook Dating lets you message someone just once unless you get a response. Facebook also won’t allow lonely hearts – or creeps – to send photos or website links, which could help cut down on unsolicited body-part photos.

There were initially rumblings that the dating feature might be open only to people who list themselves as “single” and not those who are “married” or “in a relationship.” But Facebook has said this is not the case. After all, people often don’t keep their relationship status up to date or don’t use it in a serious way.

Facebook is telling users to keep your identity private which includes your last name and your actual profile you have on Facebook. They also are warning people that folks may misrepresent themselves and their intentions in their dating profile and this could lead to harassment or harm if you decide to meet them in person.

This is just another bad option for dating. People don’t trust Facebook when it comes to privacy, but they are going to trust Facebook looking for love? And why not found out the last name of someone that you meet online? How are you going to be able to keep yourself safe if you don’t know who you are dealing with?

When are people going to LEARN that EVERY dating site is a cesspool filled with criminals, pedophiles, and scammers. If you really want a relationship step away from your devices and into the real world . Using dating sites doesn’t allow you to use your intuition and folks are going based on the profile that someone wrote up- which is filled with lies!

Facebook is just in this for the money- they don’t care about you “finding love” – stop believing that fairy-tale that love is on these sites. The only thing you are mostly  to find are STDs and hookups.

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

Red Flags To Look For Online Dating Scams

With the number of new online dating apps popping up as well as the number of folks using dating apps at an all-time high, here are red flags to look out for to determine if your prince or princess charming is for real and not a scammer.

1) Profile is not complete. Scammers often are not specific in what they are looking for in a mate.  And they don’t answer questions when asked either.

2) They said, “I Love You”  and haven’t met you in person yet.  Some people can sound great on the phone, but when you meet them there is nothing there; or, physically they just don’t meet your standards. How can someone honestly love you before having met you in person?

3) They said, ” I Love You,” on your first date.  Again, you just freaking met in person, and they say they believe in love at first sight, and that you two are soulmates and they feel it, blah, blah, blah….  Love, true love takes time to build.

4) Playing Games.   He doesn’t want to give you his phone number, he only wants to communicate via email, or Facebook Messenger, or through the App. (Remember, there are a number of services where you can get a phone number with almost any prefix.)

5) He or She won’t FaceTime –  Now with the option of facetiming you can tell right off the bat if a guy or girl is trying to scam you simply by them refusing to FaceTime.  They always have an excuse as to why they can’t do this.

6) Fake Photos: On Dating Apps, it’s almost a sure bet that there are tons of Fake Photos! Do a Google Image search to see if his photo shows up on stock photo sites or catalogs.

7) Money! Money! Money!  1) The first questions that are asked are, “So, how much money do you make?” and 2) They ask you to borrow money and give you some story as to why they are desperate for the funds.

These are just a few signs that the person you met is either trying to scam you out of money or the guy/girl could be married and is cheating on their partner.

You can avoid all heartache if you know what to look for and also how to ask questions right from the first message you receive. Don’t give too much personal information away either! They don’t need your phone number, address, work address, social media pages, etc. Start slow and really get to know someone first.  Set up a meeting in a public place. If they fail to show up – next!

You can get tons of tips here: Click This