Sex Education 101

Being on Twitter and seeing people post things are not true has to be the most frustrating thing! Yes there are folks who tweet “sex facts” but they leave out the facts and just tweet opinions. One of the more taboo topics that many feel uncomfortable talking about is masturbation. A survey found that 54% of people don’t feel comfortable talking about masturbation; the other is orgasms.

Here are some straight up facts:

Masturbation Facts and Statistics

1- 95% of men admit to masturbating, compared to 89% of women. For married individuals, the rate is 70% for both men and women.
2- More than 40% of males and 22% of females admit to masturbating daily. 55% of men and 48% of women masturbate at least once a week.
3-The average time porn is watched in a hotel room is 12 minutes.

Studies done by Indiana U, We-Vibe, and Tenga found that one in three men think about a celebrity when they are masturbating. In comparison, only one in five women think about a celebrity while masturbating. 69% of men will watch pornography, listen to music, look at photos or use a vibrator each time they masturbate. In comparison, only 54% of females will do the same thing.  It should be noted that masturbating is not going out and “seeking sex” it is considered ” self-love” ( I use that term with a smirk) and … A recent study found that not only do 45 percent of couples watch porn together, but it’s a healthy way to bond. The study was published in The Archives of Sexual Behavior.

Communication about sex is a major component to a great relationship, and if you can work a mutual interest for porn into your sex life it’s not only a learning experience, but can add some spice to those vanilla positions.

Still, in 2022, though when people talk about sex, they talk about it from the male perspective only. In a few studies done in the past few years, we find that women perceived as more open to casual sex are attributed to having less morals and are seen as less smart than women are not so open to casual sex as men are. Greater female objectification may be prompted by observers’ negative stereotypes of promiscuous women. Focusing on a woman’s body promotes objectification and decreases perceptions of her mental capacity and moral status. The myth that it is completely normal for heterosexual men to see women to whom they are sexually attracted as sex objects needs to be retired. The notion that men can have as much casual sex as they want but women can not is absurd. Men are aroused just by glancing at a female arm, ankle, calf, thigh, stomach — even without ever seeing the woman’s face. Those legs, calves, arms, etc. are sexual objects. That’s why there are innumerable websites featuring them. There is nothing analogous for women. Of course, a woman can be aroused seeing a particularly handsome and masculine man. But there are no websites for women to stare at men’s legs or other male body parts. Women are told not to dress too sexy, because if they do then there must be “asking for it” when it fact women are not at all asking for anything, they do though have a right to dress however they desire. There is that myth that women have a little black dress and men have their little black book. Women wear the little black dress to into a man’s little black book. But again, no one ever views that little black dress as just a dress a woman loves or wants to wear, there is always a sexual thing attached to it. But one thing that remains constant year in and year out is the assumption that the female body exists, first and foremost, for male sexual and viewing pleasure. This idea, needs to retired faster than Tom Brady plans to retire at some point.

Here is the kicker: NOT every normal heterosexual man who sees a woman as a sexual object can also completely respect her mind, her character, and everything else non-sexual about her. You have athletes, mostly NFL and NBA who think its a flex to date and sleep with as many women as they want. That’s not the true flex. Women are not prized animals that are owned by a man, so why do we still focus on men as the sexual being and not the other way around?

Women are told to please a man. Men are not told to please women. About 75 percent of all women never reach orgasm from intercourse alone — that is without the extra help of sex toys, hands or tongue. And 10 to 15 percent never climax under any circumstances. On the other hand, It’s clear the male orgasm is strongly selected and it makes sense , if they don’t reach orgasm, they don’t leave offspring. That’s why all we see are articles on how men can be satisfied but not women. It would be helpful if women knew as much about their ‘clits’ as men do about their penises. Women needs time to get off and, foreplay is the most important thing. It helps in vaginal lubrication, which is required for deep penetration and better sexual experience. Your sexual activity doesn’t need to be longer, but better. Women can get the orgasm even without penetration.

It’s not something to be ashamed about either. It’s part of life and it is part of having an intimate relationship. Too much emphasis is placed on models of female sexuality that are created by Hollywood and the pornography industry. But to sort of act as if that’s all that needs to be done for women is just silly. This is a total denial of the facts.

Listen to the latest podcast: Talk about The New York Rangers – Relationships – and Why you should never let AGE dictate your life.

-Hello Love Where’s Cupid 2nd Ed
-Relationship Impossible

Break… Break.. down

For my first installment of “Playing With The Boys” Football podcast, blog and book, I am breaking down the QBs from last season. If you want to watch the Reels I posted here are the 2 links for Zach Wilson and Daniel Jones.

The First Podcast edition will be April 27th, the day before the draft. Subscribe Here.

Now the break down of Zach Wilson and Daniel Jones. Here are a few observations to note: 1) Daniel Jones’ OC is better at showcasing his strengths than Zach’s OC and 2) Zach needs to work on the slant and short passes more while Jones needs to work on ball security ( it’s the complete opposite for each QB)

Observations On Zach Wilson:

Everyone was saying that he had a tendency to hold the ball too long before throwing.

His ball placement at the short, intermediate and deep levels was all over the place. In other words, many of the passes he threw were too high, too low or not easily catchable.

My observations were that the OC was not showcasing his strengths and also creating schemes that could work (as highlighted in the film)

Zach Wilson also did not have great pass protection on many occasions therefore could not have executed plays and therefore held on the ball trying to execute something when in fact he could have thrown more slants, more quick passes and had a few QB power/naked/ sweep and in/out instead of a lot of rollout throwbacks.

His ceiling is high and he has a great chance at jumping up as a premier QB in 2022 as long as everything falls into place.

Observations for Daniel Jones:

Daniel Jones can throw receivers open, can push the ball downfield, throws a good deep ball and has more mobility than many realize. He did pretty damn well with no real offensive line, no consistent receivers and he did go down in his total of fumbles from 18 to 11. He also stands his ground in the pocket and beats the blitz with the slant route/post skinny. He needs pass protection and add an elite WR / TE- Give him a full year with Barkley who is more than just a RB and the rookie WR Toney- he can make his mark as a good QB.

Tuesday Tips and Ramblings

Today is the 18th day of the 2022 and I have already gone through a big transformation and tackled countless challenges. If this how the year is going to be, watch out world!

Resistance to change is a fact of life. If you want change to take hold, you must have good boundaries to contain the forces that are working against the effort. At the same time, getting absolutely everyone on board may take forever, and making everyone happy with your decision is highly unlikely anyhow. Always do what’s BEST for you -not what’s best for everyone else. You either will have supporters or those that want to bow out. Those who bow out were never your people anyhow.

I have started the painful process of changing my business and my brand. Yes, it’s painful because you have to go through the process of seeing clients not wanting to be on board with you and you realize that some of them were just using you to their advantage. I also have been told that I “do too many things.”

It’s those people who are closed-minded and blind to innovation. Once things start going well, most folks get comfortable and never look for ways to grow and improve. In business, you need to keep moving to avoid becoming stagnant; innovation is imperative to make your business a success story. It is also important to have resilience, not only to face the challenges ahead, but also be patient when it comes to the overall results that you expect. The saying is true, “Roman was not built in a day.”

My social media company is changing gears. I only want to be seen as a content creator. Not the girl who “posts things” but a girl that creates knock your socks off content and teaches businesses HOW to use social media platforms. First thing I have to do is change the mindset. The next thing is change HOW I can gain clients and show them that I am the solution to their social media chaos. It’s in the change that I can develop a strategy that works for me and also my clients.

The next thing is that I am focusing more on doing podcasts and live shows.
I enjoy it and I have been told by so many people that they not only enjoy my shows, but that I am natural at it. I have been given a gift and a talent and why not take that and make it a major part of my company?

Next, my passion for coffee is what made me in turn add it to my company as a new business. Coffee is my hustle juice – and it is also what keeps so many folks moving. I want to be known for gourmet coffee that you can make at home or in the office. I would love restaurants to also buy it for their customers, but my mail focus is showing everyone that my coffee tastes better than any coffee shop’s.

My website is updated weekly. Here is the link: LINK

Lastly, I have a football project I am working on ( I will release what it is on 2-2-22) and I working on once again, taking my knowledge and love for competition cheer to a completely new level in 2022. (More on that later)

Friends will ask for discount prices. Real friends will pay full price to support your time and work.

Also, to those who look for clients remember this: your best clients and customers will always care more about transformation than price. Appeal to the VALUE hunters not the BARGAIN hunters.

The Recordings Of A Fangirl #sarcasm

I hate the term “Fangirl.”

I also hate it when girls are called groupies or for those girls who love hockey, they are called “puckbunnies.”

It’s not a compliment.

So “Fangirl” or “fangirling” is not, in and of itself a sexist term. Nor does a man using it guarantee it is meant as anything other than a description. Can it be sexist? Sure. It can be meant dismissively or as a slur. I’ve seen women trash talk “fanboys” as well.

Intent is definitely the main part of the equation. If a guy looks at a panel room, a bar full of girls watching a game and shakes his head while muttering “fangirls” …yeah, he’s probably being sexist.

I always feel the need to defend myself when that term is used to pigeon-hole me. Why? Haven’t you heard? Fangirls are crazy, obsessive, desperate, shallow, hysterical females, who only care about the attractiveness of the athletes in question. What would they know about sports?

I have developed a podcast called, “The Recordings Of A Fangirl #Sarcasm” to talk about girlie things, sports, dating, athletes, and my usual sassy rants are part of it. These will be a bonus if you subscribe to my podcast “Sassy Nation”

Here are the links:

The latest podcast: CLICK HERE

The 1st episode of The Recordings of A Fangirl #Sarcasm: CLICK HERE

Football For Dummies ( AKA The Jets Fans)

If there is one group of football fans that surely know how to make me want to vomit, it’s the NY Jets Fans. They head over to social media, mostly Twitter and Facebook, where they boast about their own team losing in hopes of the number pick. I read the guys tweets. I read the guys posts. And then I either want to throw up or bang my head against the wall; it’s a toss up, really.

This fan base is one of the most fickle fan bases I have ever seen. They get all excited when they draft guys they “think” are going to muster up to the expectations and boo the draft picks that actually become great NFL players for other teams, since they dump them quickly. This organization has looked like it has no idea what it has been doing since the last time they won a Superbowl which was 1969. We have seen this organization embarrass itself in more ways than one. There were moments like, Jets legend Joe Namath made a fool of himself (and the franchise) on Dec. 20, 2003 when he drunkenly told ESPN’s Suzy Kolber, “I want to kiss you, I could care less about the team struggling” during a sideline interview. There was Bill Belichick announcing he was resigning as head coach of the New York Jets by writing a note on a napkin. During a game in December 2010, then-Jets strength and conditioning coach Sal Alosi intentionally tripped Dolphins punt returner Nolan Carroll along the sideline. Not a great look, really. The Jets suffered a brutal loss to the Dolphins on November 27, 1994, thanks to Dan Marino’s Clock Play.” In 2015, former Jets quarterback and first-round pick Geno Smith was punched in the face by teammate IK Enemkpali over $600. I mean, I seriously can go on…. and on. But nothing can top those things than seeing the fan base root AGAINST their OWN team and giving up so soon on players developing.

For all the fans that seem to think they know everything here is a little football lesson between college football and the NFL.

First of all the preparation and dedication to the game must be absolute in order to sustain success for a long period of time in the NFL. This is probably the most crucial difference between college and the pros.

The best professional football players learn how to dissect the game and their opponents long before they take the field. College athletes never have the luxury of going so in-depth. So, essentially everyone in college is on a relatively even playing field in terms of preparation.

College football is equalized in preparation opportunity, while the NFL is generally more equalized in physical ability. Guys in the league quickly realize they can no longer rely solely on their physical gifts to be dominant.

The width of the fields are not the same thing. This is the granddaddy issue, and one people never think about. Yes, in a literal sense, pro and college fields are the same width (53 1/3 yards). But in a strategic sense, they’re wildly different. Hashmarks dictate where the ball is spotted. In the NFL, they’re 18 feet, 6 inches apart. In college, they’re 40 feet apart. This means the pro game always begins near the middle of the field, with relatively equal spacing on both sides. That makes for a crisp, tight game, with (initially) balanced formations and coverages.

It’s difficult to compare coaches in college to coaches in the NFL. They are similar yet completely different at the same time. There are a lot of things to take into account when comparing the two – they might be coaching the same sport, but each is an entirely separate world with unique challenges-

Remember, Trevor Lawrence isn’t coming to the NFL with his QB coach, his head coach, his OL, or his WRs. He also needs to learn a completely new offense and gain chemistry with an entire new OL and with his WRs.

Let me remind of you of the TOP QB prospects that NEVER made it in the NFL:

1) Jason White
2) Graham Harrell
3) Johnny Manziel
4) Ryan Leaf
5) Kellen Moore
6) Colt McCoy ( he’s the back up for the Giants- but he never made it as a franchise QB)
7) Case Keenum
8) Eric Crouch

The point being, just because all the “experts” say that Trevor Lawrence is amazing, doesn’t mean that it will translate to the NFL. Remember they have been wrong MANY times before.

Also, Andrew Luck was deemed, the most elite QB since Peyton Manning. He NEVER won a Super Bowl.

You are hoping that “maybe” Trevor will live up to all the hype, while giving up on Sam who definitely has what it takes to be a Franchise QB. Jets fans gave up on Leonard Williams, look at him with the Giants this year – he has 39 tackles and 8.5 sacks so far.
Look at Quentin Williams , you all thought he was trash last year – my point is that fans give up too soon on players and expect that they are going to be perfect the minute they step on the NFL field. Sam Darnold has never had a complete team BUILT around him. Now is the time to do this and build around the small core of players that the team has! He also needs a QB coach that is not going to let him make the same mistakes, and also a coach that is going to highlight his strengths.


Investing in your franchise QB is a business move and if they decide they don’t want to pay him just for that reason alone, then they are not investing in winning. They are in the business of winning and you can’t win if you keep dumping your draft picks 2/3 years later and “start over”, or as Jets fans like to constantly say, “Start Fresh”

You all will look FOOLISH if by chance Joe Douglas does trade Sam and he succeeds somewhere else and Trevor Lawrence doesn’t look so perfect anymore out of that Clemson jersey.

So be careful what you wish for.

Putting your eggs into one basket never works out in your favor.

Ever.

Trevor Lawrence Is NOT The Answer

April 26, 2018 on Twitter: ( FYI I retweeted some of these on my Twitter feed)

You know what the best part of Sam Darnold is? He’s not Josh Allen. #Jets

The #Jets traded up to 3 and were mocked. They have arguably the best QB fall into their lap and take him. Well done Maccagnan #NFLDraft

Uncle Sam gonna take us to the promise land

I have been saying it for 2 years now. Suck for Sam!!! And it came true. Spoke it to existence.. Welcome to the New York Jets Sam Darnold!!!!! #jets #nfl
#myqb #winner

The #Jets ended up with Sam Darnold. The @nyjets
I’m still in shock and filled with joy. Special shout out to the #Browns
and #Giants too for making this happen. Love it! #NFLDraft

Still hyped about the #SAMDARNOLD pick by the #Jets. Getting the best QB in the draft at 3 is a steal. #NFLDraft

There were MANY happy Jets fans gushing that they indeed did get the BEST QB in the draft in 2018, yet they all want to FORGET this and forget that it’s a process, DROP him and go with the new Shiny New Toy …. again. Yes, I know that Trevor was the talk of town yesterday against Georgia Tech. Yes, I know that beat writers and everyone who talks about football is gushing over him. And yes, I know Trevor Lawrence beat Alabama in last year’s championship and I am NOT taking that away from him BUT here is why Clemson won, and it was NOT because of Lawrence.

First off, the defense on Alabama only rush only four and drop seven into coverage.

Four didn’t get it done against Clemson. Note that Trevor Lawrence isn’t the most mobile quarterback in college football, but he didn’t need to be against Alabama because he was allowed to stand as long as he pleased in the pocket and pick out his receivers. With Alabama neutralized up front, that left the defensive backs vulnerable to Lawrence and his talented receivers. Lawrence completed 20 of 32 passes for 347 yards, and while he’s good, he needed star receiver Justyn Ross to bail him out on bad throws twice! ( Oh my God … he had bad throws … just like Sam makes at times!)

Last year it as “Tank for Tua.” Now, Tua Tagovailoa is a talented player, no question but he seems to have only have one gear. He did it twice against Clemson, with one pass returned for a touchdown and the second pick setting up another score. So the defense of Alabama scored not because of Trevor Lawrence. Alabama turned over the ball on downs three times, including once on that fake field goal. The problem is that Alabama’s offense can never waste opportunities, because its defense rarely creates turnovers. That has nothing do with Trevor Lawrence and everything to do with Alabama. FYI: when Nick Saban faked the field goal rather than having Joseph Bulovas try a medium-range kick, was he doing so because he didn’t like Bulovas’ odds of making it?

Right now Trevor Lawrence is the shiny new toy that everyone wants. The Jets haven’t done enough to surround Darnold with actual, talented football players, and chances are, if Trevor Lawrence is put in a similar situation, he might not be better off. The Jets need a blueprint on how to properly nurture and develop a QB, they had Josh McCown here during Sam’s rookie year, but they stupidly let him go after that. Remember, draft picks mean nothing unless you can develop young players; the Jets are the epitome of that notion.

Now I know passing on a “once in a lifetime talent ” at quarterback might be a mistake, but drafting one and setting him up to fail — like his predecessor — might be a bigger one. You can’t just always go for the SHINY NEW TOY. It’s like relationships, people give up on those these days way too easily. They don’t want to put in the work, they just want the perfection and the trophy. To have a relationship you need to start with a foundation before you can have the roof. To have a winning team you need to have the core and build around it. To have success you can’t keep dumping and building. Go ask those who given up if they succeeded, they will have to tell you that they failed. You can’t look back at where you’ve been, but where you are going. Yes, the past shapes us in every aspect, but if we ever want to be in the promise land we can’t keep making the same mistakes.

Dropping Sam Darnold for Trevor Lawrence is making the same mistake. Especially if you look at Tanehill’s numbers post-coach Gase: With Gase 65.9% COMP PCT Without Gase: 69.9% COMP PCT With Gase: 93.2 Passer Rating Without Gase: 115.4 Passer Rating.

So may be the answer for Sam Darnold is simple: Once Gase goes, Sam’s stats go in a better direction: UP.

But giving up on him, should not be the option. Surrounding him with talent and a coach that showcases his strengths not highlights his weaknesses should be the first thing Joe Douglas does. If the Jets ever want to be successful, then they need to stop the madness and save the Quarterback who has the skills and the talent needed to be their franchise for the next ten years. Or they risk giving another team that opportunity when they trade him for the shiny new toy. Maybe one day the Jets can thank themselves for not giving up on Darnold but for believing in him and building a team around him. Ambition is the path to success. Persistence is the vehicle you arrive in.

“Successful people do what unsuccessful people are not willing to do. Don’t wish it were easier; wish you were better.”

Girls In Their 20s vs Women In Their 40s

When I check social media every day, it’s amazing how these 20 -something girls think that are such “hot stuff.” I really don’t make that much about it until they start messing with me – then I have to put them in their place. First off, this whole thing that women are “supposed” to support other women “just because” we’re women is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard of- you don’t see men supporting other men “Just because” you see men competing against other men and rightfully so.

So what does a 40 year old woman have that a 20 year old girl doesn’t? Well for starters, experience thank you.

1- Girls in their twenties don’t know how to fully love themselves- every inch of their bodies. I would have avoided many of the decisions that I made in my life if I truly just accepted who I was when I was twenty. Most girls want that “perfect” body. There is NO such thing as to having the perfect body, no matter what Victoria’s Secret or Vogue may tell you. You should embrace who you are inside and out.

2- Girls in their twenties are far from being authentic. It’s all about fitting in, instead of standing out. Stop comparing your life to someone’s else life you see on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter… etc. Be real. Be you. You are worth it – just like everyone else you see. Don’t let what others are doing online, bring you down or your self-worth. No one gets to tell you what your value is- You know your worth when you stop giving discounts.

3- Sex. Sorry girls, but forty year old women have been “around the block” so to say. First all of, older women don’t just “hook up” with guys like girls in their twenties who are hooking up left and right these days. When we do “hook up” we do that because we feel close to the guy we are with. 40 year old women can completely let them self go physically- we don’t care about anything else and are more prone to trying new things since we are already secure with our bodies and not insecure like 20 year old girls are. We also know what we like, how to orgasm, and how to satisfy our partners, where as a twenty year old has no clue. ( https://amzn.to/2I6xN8c) – Chapter 13 FYI

4- Learn to live in the moment. If you master this when you are young, you will appreciate life much more through every single stage of it. Also, It’s not your job to make everyone else happy. And even if you do so, that doesn’t mean you’ll be happy. Life is short. Women in their forties know this. We don’t give a flying F- if you aren’t happy with our choices. We do what we know is going to make us happy- not others.

5-Life is not like football. Stop trying to “score points” with every opportunity. To win in life is to overcome every obstacle that life throws at you. No one dies counting how many “touchdowns” they scored and compares that to someone else’s “score total” – In the end that doesn’t matter.

6- Life is not like baseball. Don’t give people 3 times to hurt you, they lie to you once, that should be it. They are showing you who they are, and that is a person who doesn’t respect you enough to tell you the truth. Twenty-somethings give people way too many chances.

7- You don’t DESERVE things you EARN things. Stop thinking that everyone “owes” you something! Excuse me girl, but no one owes you a damn thing! You want that guy- go get him. You want that job- work for it. You want that car- buy it…. And so forth. Skip half the parties you go to, if you work, at something, you will become better at it.

8- Stick to the original plan. Don’t let anyone talk you out of it. What ever you choose to be; be. Just because someone else has an “idea” of what you should do with your life, doesn’t mean you have to follow “their” plan. It’s your life, so live it and to the best of your ability. Stop blaming everyone else for your problems and giving excuses as to why you can’t do something or why something didn’t work out. Stop asking for permission. Forty year old women KNOW this.

9- Twenty year old girls don’t know how to have an ACTUAL conversation! Put down your damn phone! Forty year old women have such better social skills than you simply because we weren’t born with cell phones, social media and that has taken the skill of communication to an entire new level. Learn how to talk to others in person. Get off dating apps, social media apps, and get into the real world and start talking to others. Not only are you going to find out more about others, you will also find out more about yourself. And in the business world, you are going to have to talk to others face to face. A screen isn’t going to do.

10- Finally, alcohol is like cancer for your body. Twenty-somethings always feel the need to “get drunk” or “get high” at parties, when things are tough, etc. Forty year old women know that if we need to get high – we get high on life. Yes, we have an occasional drink from time to time, but we don’t rely on alcohol, basically because we don’t have time to stay in bed with a hangover or frankly want one. (Let the beer vs wine debate begin)

Age will happen whether you’re afraid of it or not, so get living! I don’t believe in age, I believe in energy. Stop telling older women that they are “too old” – remember, one day, the roles will reverse. Karma has a way of sneaking up on you.