Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

If You Use Social Media, Then You Need To Read This- Now.

Thanks to social media, our lives will never be the same again. Period. Ten years ago, no one knew what the phrase “social media” was, let alone how it would impact our lives. So with the growth of social media came the growth of people saying whatever popped into their heads at a moment’s notice. No one thought about what they typed, they just typed it and sent it out there into cyberspace, hoping that they would get someone’s attention. Well, it worked. They not only got attention, they now have gotten themselves into a dilemma. In other words, people are getting into trouble at a recording setting pace just by what they post on Facebook and Twitter.

In some studies it is suggested that more than 90% look at a prospective employee’s social media accounts before making a final hiring decision. Which means that the line drawn between either getting the job or not getting the job can all come down to what you post or tweet.

One applicant found himself out of the running for the job he applied for because after he joined the group, “I shouldn’t have to press one for English,” on Facebook, his would-be employer branded him as a racist. Another Facebook story is a man who was tagged as someone with, “the potential for violent behavior” because there was a picture of him holding a gun.

A 22-year-old North Carolina waitress blasted two customers over Facebook for stiffing her on the tip and keeping her late. She also took the time to mention her workplace by name. She was fired for breaking a rule about disparaging customers.

And that is not the only thing that can go wrong while using social media.

There was a person who was looking for work who was flagged for “illegal activity” after putting an advertisement on Craigslist look for the drug Oxycontin.

Then there was a woman who had been living off of disability insurance for depression since 2008. But when the Canadian insurance company making the payments, got into her Facebook page, they saw her “relaxing at the beach, hanging out at a Chippendale’s-style club, and generally having a lot of fun.” She immediately lost her insurance benefits.

The only one that has the power on your profile or your page is you. Its a sure thing that people who have gotten fired, not recruited or even hired didn’t think their social media sites would be the reason, but it seems to be the trend. Nobody thinks before their tweet or post- they just tweet and post.

Then there were stories brewing that would-be employers are asking potential employee’s for their emails/passwords combos to their social networking sites.

I just love the hypocrisy of people today.

On one hand you have people who cry that their privacy is being compromised due to Google and due to their online activity, while on the other hand these same people are posting/tweeting information that they shouldn’t. You can’t claim you are a victim when you are the one putting yourself out there.

These people cry foul but yet haven’t changed their online behaviors. . Since there are no true boundary lines drawn as of yet on these social media sites, there are always going to be situations that people and even professionals are going to find themselves in. If we can cut down on the negative uses and abuses of social media we can then start to use social media for what it’s pure intention is: to network, keep in touch with friends and family as well as meet new people. The only way we can curb the negative, such as cyber bullying and just plain stupidity is to force people to think before they post or tweet since our employer’s will be checking in on us from time to time. Cyber bullying would be a thing of the past instead of our future.

The thing that people don’t realize is that what you post or tweet most certianly reflects your employer, your friends and your family. Social media has in turn made everyone lose their common sense, manners, and we somehow have forgotten how to respect each others opinion. We instead mock people, call them outlandish names and intimidate them. Some people decide to unfriend a person in real life as well as online simply because we don’t have the tolerance to accept the fact that everyone is entitled to their opinion. It’s like I have always said to kids when I was a teacher, “ You don’t have to like everyone, but you do have to respect everyone.”

The best advice I can give everyone is this: If you aren’t going to say exactly what you are typing in public or to someone’s face, don’t post it or tweet it. Don’t become a social media troll. Plus, we don’t need to know what you are doing at every freaking minute of the day. Yes, your kid is cute but I don’t need to know that he or she is potty training. I don’t care if you are going to workout, get coffee, go to the laundrymat, etc. What you are in turn doing by letting everyone know where you are and what you are doing, is being open for robbery, theft, or even personal harm. You really don’t know who is “spying” on your page. This goes for when people “check-in” to places. But the personal level of stuff, let me just say that 90% of court cases have Facebook listed as evidence in them. Let’s make social media a place where we show respect, kindness and joy. Remember, there’s a difference between fact and opinion. Your opinion is not a fact. Let’s stop attacking people and using it to incite violence.

Dirty laundry belongs in a basket, not posted on the Internet. Just because it pops into your head doesn’t mean you need to post it.

It’s really that simple. Or is it?

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner · 2 Comments

The Only Period I Talk About Online Is A Punctuation Mark

According to PlanInternational UK on Twitter, they think it’s time we had a #PeriodEmoji. Um, what? My answer to this simply this: Of all that is holy, no! Hell no! Saying in a tweet that we don’t talk about periods enough…. blah, blah, blah. Um, has it ever occurred to people that not everything needs to be on social media? Has it ever occurred to PlanInternationalUK, that as a woman, we talk about periods enough and we talk about them in private with our closest friends? Has it ever occurred to people that don’t need #emojis for everything we do in life?

Yes, having your period is normal if you are a woman. But what one woman said to me in response to this crazy post was that it’s about “reproduction.” My answer to that is no, it’s not. Not every woman can reproduce. The fact that a woman is menstruating doesn’t necessarily mean that she can conceive and carry a baby to term. Some women continue to have periods but don’t ovulate at all. This medical condition is known as anovulation. You’re born with a fixed number of eggs but the number and health of your eggs declines as you get older. Infertility affects approximately 6.7 million women in the United States. Maybe that is something we should be talking about. Maybe we should be talking about adoption and making the process a lot easier than it is for those women who wish to be moms. But to adopt these days, you need to be a celebrity and have an abundance of money. There are probably a lot of children who don’t have a home that would have one if it wasn’t for this ridiculously insane high cost. But I will say that it is possible to find ways to arrange a private newborn adoption for $6,000 to $8,000; and not the $30,000 price tag of some adoptions. A lot of the price depends on two major factors, the lawyer fees and if the adoptive family is helping pay for medical expenses. And as I am in the process of writing my book, “The Road To Adoption,” there are many hurdles for couples and single moms/dads, especially if you try to adopt using the foster care system.

Again, as a social media expert I am telling everyone out there that not everything we do in life or experience in life needs to be on social media. It’s called social media for us to be social, it’s not a place where we should, let alone, need to share private things that happen in our lives. And seeing how some people are using personal Facebook pages as a business tool, which is a no-no for so many reasons, you will eventually kill your own brand by oversharing information with the public.

It’s normal to have our periods but tell me why on Earth we need to let everyone online know it? That’s ridiculous! What’s next? Are we going to have emjolis to let everyone know we are having wet dreams, having sex, or that we have sexual diseases?

Enough is enough. The topics we should be discussing we ignore and the things we don’t need to discuss we do. The social media generation needs to learn how to distinguish between what should be public and what should be private. Remember, once you push the send button that’s all it takes for your posts to stay online forever. Be wary and careful as to what you put online- it can bite you later on.

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

Don’t Do These 4 Things If You Want Your Business To Grow

In business, as in life, some of the best advice I learned early on was not to try to be all things to all people, because it typically means you are only trying to please everyone, but yourself.  Most of the time we  jeopardize our true strength to focus on what we may not be successful at and create overall pressures for ourselves, our budget, and our company as a whole.  We tend to not focus on the tasks at hand, and place our focus on things that are not going to help in making our business better, but weaker. I have seen a number of very smart people get into business only to ultimately fail because they didn’t look at their business through the eyes of how to have success, but instead focused solely on having the “build it and they will come” mentality.

The first thing I have seen business owners do that will not help their business grow is take things personally when things don’t go their way.  What I mean by this is simply this; they think the world is out to want them fail.  That couldn’t be further from the truth! The world is not out to get you. The world wants you to succeed.  The saying, “It’s business, not personal,” strikes a cord with me. If business is going to continue, someone has to be held accountable. The purpose of business is to make a profit, change the world, let your voice be heard, and that other things, such as personal feelings, must not be allowed to prevent this.  Now, that doesn’t mean you can’t develop personal relationships with co-workers, team members, clients, etc. It just means that you can’t let that fog your brain when you need to make an important decision about your brand.

The second thing I have seen business owners do that will not help their business grow is that they don’t take their bills seriously and they are always looking to save money, by cutting corners. First off, the saying, “You need to spend money to make money,” is true to its core. You can’t expect to make money when you are afraid to take risks. You need to market yourself and your brand. You need office supplies. You need money for insurance, rent, stamps, staff, etc.  Cutting corners and trying to save a buck or two, usually never works out. (This depends on the corners you are trying to cut. There is a thing called the Internet that can help you save time and possibly money. But use it wisely.)   There are the companies that don’t understand that when you hire someone to help you succeed, or purchase a different service, you are paying for that service.  Therefore, you need to treat every invoice as you would want your customers to treat your invoices. You have to remember that everyone has bills to pay, not just you. Always pay your invoices on time.  When you don’t, that is a reflection on you and your character, not the company’s.(From which you are paying)

Thirdly, it takes a combination of strategic planning and creative thinking to ensure that a brand or business is successful. Going into a business without a plan is never a smart move.  I wouldn’t want to start a business if I didn’t know if I had opportunities for it to grow, how long it will take to get it off the ground, and what effort and amount of energy I need to put into the business for it to grow.  A lot of times people don’t realize that the location, location, location,  of your business is going to have the most effect on if you are going to succeed or fail.   For example, opening a deli on a street with no foot traffic isn’t a good idea.  But at the same time, today, social media is the only thing that is going to either make you or break you.  And most companies hire “big” name companies that whisk them off their feet to handle their social media instead of hiring local social media experts to handle the gig. If you don’t hire the right people to help spread the word on your brand, you mostly are heading for failure. And not to mention, you are headed for sleepless nights!

Finally, the most important thing NOT to do, is to give up on your business too early. In today’s world, everyone wants instant gratification. But with patience, perseverance and determination, you can have your business grow.  Remember, Facebook wasn’t making any money for a very long time, and it was considered a billion dollar business. Stick to the fundamentals.  Good things, sometimes, take time.

You can follow Stephanie on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram

 

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner · 2 Comments

Things Never To Text To Your Boyfriend or Girlfriend

Today it’s tempting to say anything and everything via text, and with the prevalence of emoji and GIFs has made it easy to express our emotions and feelings. But there are some things that still deserve the spoken-word treatment; especially to a boyfriend or girlfriend.

“We Need To Talk”

The scariest phrase to ever text to your boyfriend or girlfriend. If you need to talk, always do it in person. NEVER on the phone or in text.

“It’s Over”

Breaking up over a text message is the cowardly way out. Don’t do it over email, on a sticky note, sending flowers with a note attached, or even over the phone. Again, this needs to be done in person.
“I Love You” (for the first time)

Saying these three little words for the first time should be said face to face, not in a text message. How unromantic is that?

“My Period Is Late/I’m Pregnant”

Never ever text this to a guy! Unless you want to give him a heart attack.
“I’m Sorry”

Apologies are hard enough for some people to say, but if you need to say it, the best way is in person or even over the phone instead of putting it in text form.

The Double Text

You texted him at noon, and now it’s 3 p.m., still no response. Don’t text him the exact same text you texted him at noon! Just text him, “Did you get my text?” instead.

Fights

Fights are best conducted in person not over text. First off, you only have up to 140/160 characters to get “your point across.” And secondly, misinterpreting what you are saying over a text is easy.

Private Parts

When it comes to sexting, there are many reasons to stay away from it. Besides it being creepy and just very distasteful, images are not as private as you may think and can be forwarded and/or hacked at will. Plus, call me old fashioned, but sex in person is best.

Personal Information

In the world of rampant identity theft, it’s best to make a rule not to text sensitive personal information such as your social security number, bank accounts, or credit card information.

Secrets

Texting is not private. Texts are intercepted, forwarded and read by others. If you have anything that you don’t want the world to know about, never put it in writing on your phone. Again, this is a face to face conversation, not a text.

The Drunken Text

We have all either gotten one or sent one, but this is always a bad idea. Always. Not only are your messages likely to be inappropriate, but they are going to be the source of great embarrassment when you “come to” in the morning. I suggest that if you plan on going out and getting drunk to shut off your phone. You’ll feel better in the morning knowing that you didn’t send your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend that humiliating text.

Canceling Plans

Canceling plans last minute over text, screams, “lie.”

Texting 1 or 2 Words

The worse thing about texting is that mostly a woman will text a paragraph and the guy will respond with, “K” Never do that! It’s just rude and annoying.

The Late Night Text

Never text a girl with the words “hey u up?” No. No, we are not up. No, we are not interested in answering your six-letter text message at 1:37 a.m.

The “I’ll Throw Him A Hint,” Text

Guys don’t pick up on hints we throw to them in person. Do you really think he’s going to get what you mean via text? Nope. So, your best bet is to wait until you see him and do your best to actually explain what it is you want from them.

Your entire romantic future here could be determined by your text messages. How often do you actually pick up the phone to call someone? In our fast-paced world, it’s easier to send that text, but when you are dating, you want to call more than you text. We’re all really busy people, that’s not being disputed here, but it’s inappropriate to be texting all day long. If you try and find the happy medium, things will work out and you’ll be able to close the deal.

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

The Online-dating Research Papers (part 2)

Here’s a profile I found on a dating site. People don’t get it.

1) If you are happy with your life right now, why are you on here?

2) If you aren’t desperate or looking for someone to complete you, again, you are on here for what then?

3) Credit score of 800? His butt looks good in jeans and he can look very GQ? Plus he mentions that he is great with kids. All a ploy to start pulling the heartstrings of a very desperate woman.

 

THE PROFILE:

Hey…welcome to my profile. Pretty happy with my life right now. Have a strong network of friends and family and interests to keep me busy…so I’m not here because I’m desperate or lonely looking for someone to “complete me”. I’m also self sufficient and well organized so I’m not looking for a “mother figure” either. I’m just a hard working man who’s butt looks great in jeans and I can look quite GQ when I throw on a three piece. My ability to make people laugh…especially when they needed it the most, has always been my greatest strength. I give a great massage, am a great conversationalist and a really good dancer. I also have a credit score close to 800. 🙂 Not bad, huh? Oh…I can cook, juggle and play the guitar, too. Also great with kids. My nieces and nephews will attest to that. How bout them apples? You will find me to be very “down to earth” and a versatile playmate. Anyway, if you are seeking a man with very little baggage…then your search is over. 🙂

Again, Get yourself off the clearance rack called online dating. Falling in love, JUST HAPPENS. You can’t force yourself to fall.

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

The Online-dating Research Papers (part 1)

I have been researching dating sites all over the internet. Some promote them on Facebook while others promote them on Twitter and Google+.  Even some dating sites have started using Instagram.

As I was doing some hardcore research I saw a young girl, guessing in her 20’s, posing on a motorcycle with the caption:

Send me pics fellas
I might ride you like I do my bike…if you’re man enough to handle me
my number is 1-9*5-2**-3696…don’t keep me waiting

Seriously, this is HOW desperate and dumb this generation has become?

First mistake: Asking for pictures which you know will be sexual

Second mistake: Making a sexual reference

Third mistake: Posting her phone number for the entire world to see.

Online dating sites LOVE these type of people! As someone tweeted me, ” The dating sites love self-destructive people, because they make great customers as they chase away person after person. Dating sites provide a fall back for the attention-starved. Why work it out when there’s another “match” waiting online?”

I’ve been saying that since day one. If you really want love remember, they call it falling in love because you JUST fall. You don’t FORCE yourself to trip.