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It’s that dreaded time: Valentine’s Day

Everybody has a right to be happy.

That is not the issue. The issue at hand is how we go about trying to find that true happiness and if that’s all we are doing, then my question is: Why do we believe that the only way to be truly happy is if we are in a relationship?

First off, let’s talk about what constitutes a relationship, because I feel in today’s world with social media, dating sites, and all that jazz, people are forgetting the clear definition of what a relationship is. In the dictionary a relationship is defined as, “The way in which two or more concepts, objects, or people are connected, or the state of being connected.” While an intimate relationship is an interpersonal relationship that involves physical or emotional intimacy. Notice that a relationship can be either physical, emotional, or even a combination of both. This also counts for all those “online relationships” people are having these days.

You go on Facebook to network or share your passion for something, since there are tons of groups and fan pages these days, and you strike up a conversation with someone. Next thing you know, you are talking to this person everyday. The minute you blink your eyes, you now find yourself talking to this person about your life, he/she asks you for your phone number, and he/she says those exciting words: Let’s finally meet.
The only problem is that every time you bring up about meeting in person, he/she has some lame excuse. (Trust me, I have heard many crazy excuses from people telling me about their experiences!)

The same situation can also happen on Twitter, Instagram, or of course those nightmare dating sites.

Here’s the thing that most don’t realize: In this age of social media, we get emotionally attached and connected to people we don’t even know every day! The moment you start talking to someone every day, the moment you get their phone number, and the moment you talk about (and some promise) to meet -up, you are in a relationship with that person!

Some are friendships, yes, but for the sake of this article, I am talking about romantic relationships. So for those keeping the score at home, if what I described above sounds like you, congratulations, you are in an online relationship!

So, what does this all mean? It simply means that even though you aren’t married to this person, even though you have yet to meet this person face to face, while you are talking every day, and some get very intimate online, you are emotionally connected. And yes I know that some people chat it up with a lot of folks, especially guys. Tom chats with Donna, Cindy, Vanessa, and then there’s Denise. But if Tom is just chatting with those girls every so often and he is seriously talking to Mindy every day online, while also calling her on the phone, and he talked about wanting to finally meet up and that he loves her, Tom is in a relationship with Mindy and only Mindy.

I love guys online who constantly tell me that it’s not cheating if you aren’t married. That’s just the excuse they give themselves for their behavior as well as the way to reason with themselves that they didn’t fall for someone online. Remember, any type of cheating is not a mistake, it’s a choice. Single is only a status you fill out on a form, just because you aren’t checking the married box, doesn’t mean that you can’t cheat.

That is basically relationship 101.
Now back to my question, why do we feel that in order to be happy we must be in a relationship?

The thing is, nobody can give us a better life but ourselves, if you wait for someone to make you happy you will never be. But as human nature plays a part in our daily lives, no matter how many times you say you don’t need a boyfriend/girlfriend, your heart still craves to love someone truly. The thing to remember is this, sex is so easy to find, that’s why love is so hard to get. Our heart is like an unfinished puzzle, that is why we search for the perfect one to complete it. That’s is why some relationships end and new ones begin. Don’t just settle for someone, make sure that person is the one who fits the puzzle, because if you just try to force a relationship to work, you are hurting yourself and wasting someone else’s time.

You learn how to love others through the simple act of loving yourself. Without it, you will never be able to love someone else completely. So, to answer the question, the most important relationship you can ever have is with yourself, but, if you are looking for love this Valentine’s Day; here are 3 rules to remember. 

RULE 1: Never EVER get yourself involved in a relationship with a man/woman who is newly divorced. He is still grieving the relationship himself & trying to sort out feelings. The worse thing to do is get hung up on a man who will be looking out for himself.

RULE 2: Know your worth. Most women forget about this one & feel that they aren’t worth it without a man. That’s when you settle for less than you deserve. Men: Don’t go for eye candy, go for a woman who has the biggest heart, the best personality and someone who will support your dreams.

RULE 3: In any relationship there needs to be trust & honesty; when there isn’t you don’t have a relationship at all. You are just 2 people in the same room.

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The Diary Of A Social Gal ( Part 1)

(Photos Courtesy of Click Images Inc. )

What comes to mind when I think about building an empire?  First and foremost, hard freaking work! Being a #girlboss has it’s ups and downs. Seeing so many young girls thinking that it’s “so easy” to build a brand, build presence, and build your company, always makes me laugh and roll my eyes.

I started SassyGirlPR in 2008.  At first it wasn’t SassyGirlPR it was just me, Stephanie being a freelancer. I wrote for many blogs, many websites, and even did some ghost writing for celebrities and others.  Then of course I started to write my own stuff and have a voice.  My goal when I write, is not to have others know MY opinion, but to THINK about the other side of the story.  Then of course I wrote my first book, “A Bird’s Eye View”  which was a nonfiction book and talked about many topics.  Once I got my feet wet, I guess you can say the rest is history!  I got offered to write for many other sites, one being Blogher. Not only did I write for Blogher and have one of my pieces go viral,
“This Woman Does Not Support The Women’s March” but I was a third-party consultant for them and this is where I got my start with #SocialMediaMarketing –

I did campaigns for JcPenney, American Idol, AT&T, just to name a few.  And I instantly fell in love with the concept and the idea.

Now I started to learn and teach myself all about social media and how to use it to market businesses, books, blogs, etc.  And I have to say, I had very good success at it – I mean, my books and blogs were being read in other countries and it was just amazing on how I connected with so many people.  This by the way, is the purpose of social media: to connect with others on a positive note, not like it is used today to spread hate and misinformation.

In the meantime while all this was going on, I was teaching Preschool, Pre-K and writing toddler programs for schools.  I presented at the NAEYC in 2000 and loved teaching the little ones.  We’ll get into this at another time, but I built my business Sassy Productions Inc,  as a side job, and let me tell you, I tried to incorporate a lot of other businesses, but those failed.  Those failures are what helped me grow, helped me understand business, and helped me become who I am today.  I learned so much from the failed business attempts that is why I took eight years of building SassyGirlPR – now known as Sassy Productions.  I wanted it to work.  I wanted to be my own boss and play by my own rules.

Timing is everything in life, as is having patience.  Life is process for that matter. We learn as we progress.  So today, I not only run a social media marketing company, handle PR relations as well, write blogs, write books, and help other businesses, I did it all on my own terms.

2016 I became an Auntie.  That was the perfect time to step away from teaching and focus on myself and my nephew.  And things have just taken off from there.

So you see, life doesn’t always work out the way you think it will. There will be turns, stops, obstacles, at every corner, but with patience, perseverance and never stopping enthusiasm, you can start to build your own empire- one piece at a time.

Find The Diary of A Social Gal Parts 2 and 3 here:( Friday and Saturday)

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Girls In Their 20s vs Women In Their 40s

When I check social media every day, it’s amazing how these 20 -something girls think that are such “hot stuff.” I really don’t make that much about it until they start messing with me – then I have to put them in their place. First off, this whole thing that women are “supposed” to support other women “just because” we’re women is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard of- you don’t see men supporting other men “Just because” you see men competing against other men and rightfully so.

So what does a 40 year old woman have that a 20 year old girl doesn’t? Well for starters, experience thank you.

1- Girls in their twenties don’t know how to fully love themselves- every inch of their bodies. I would have avoided many of the decisions that I made in my life if I truly just accepted who I was when I was twenty. Most girls want that “perfect” body. There is NO such thing as to having the perfect body, no matter what Victoria’s Secret or Vogue may tell you. You should embrace who you are inside and out.

2- Girls in their twenties are far from being authentic. It’s all about fitting in, instead of standing out. Stop comparing your life to someone’s else life you see on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter… etc. Be real. Be you. You are worth it – just like everyone else you see. Don’t let what others are doing online, bring you down or your self-worth. No one gets to tell you what your value is- You know your worth when you stop giving discounts.

3- Sex. Sorry girls, but forty year old women have been “around the block” so to say. First all of, older women don’t just “hook up” with guys like girls in their twenties who are hooking up left and right these days. When we do “hook up” we do that because we feel close to the guy we are with. 40 year old women can completely let them self go physically- we don’t care about anything else and are more prone to trying new things since we are already secure with our bodies and not insecure like 20 year old girls are. We also know what we like, how to orgasm, and how to satisfy our partners, where as a twenty year old has no clue. ( https://amzn.to/2I6xN8c) – Chapter 13 FYI

4- Learn to live in the moment. If you master this when you are young, you will appreciate life much more through every single stage of it. Also, It’s not your job to make everyone else happy. And even if you do so, that doesn’t mean you’ll be happy. Life is short. Women in their forties know this. We don’t give a flying F- if you aren’t happy with our choices. We do what we know is going to make us happy- not others.

5-Life is not like football. Stop trying to “score points” with every opportunity. To win in life is to overcome every obstacle that life throws at you. No one dies counting how many “touchdowns” they scored and compares that to someone else’s “score total” – In the end that doesn’t matter.

6- Life is not like baseball. Don’t give people 3 times to hurt you, they lie to you once, that should be it. They are showing you who they are, and that is a person who doesn’t respect you enough to tell you the truth. Twenty-somethings give people way too many chances.

7- You don’t DESERVE things you EARN things. Stop thinking that everyone “owes” you something! Excuse me girl, but no one owes you a damn thing! You want that guy- go get him. You want that job- work for it. You want that car- buy it…. And so forth. Skip half the parties you go to, if you work, at something, you will become better at it.

8- Stick to the original plan. Don’t let anyone talk you out of it. What ever you choose to be; be. Just because someone else has an “idea” of what you should do with your life, doesn’t mean you have to follow “their” plan. It’s your life, so live it and to the best of your ability. Stop blaming everyone else for your problems and giving excuses as to why you can’t do something or why something didn’t work out. Stop asking for permission. Forty year old women KNOW this.

9- Twenty year old girls don’t know how to have an ACTUAL conversation! Put down your damn phone! Forty year old women have such better social skills than you simply because we weren’t born with cell phones, social media and that has taken the skill of communication to an entire new level. Learn how to talk to others in person. Get off dating apps, social media apps, and get into the real world and start talking to others. Not only are you going to find out more about others, you will also find out more about yourself. And in the business world, you are going to have to talk to others face to face. A screen isn’t going to do.

10- Finally, alcohol is like cancer for your body. Twenty-somethings always feel the need to “get drunk” or “get high” at parties, when things are tough, etc. Forty year old women know that if we need to get high – we get high on life. Yes, we have an occasional drink from time to time, but we don’t rely on alcohol, basically because we don’t have time to stay in bed with a hangover or frankly want one. (Let the beer vs wine debate begin)

Age will happen whether you’re afraid of it or not, so get living! I don’t believe in age, I believe in energy. Stop telling older women that they are “too old” – remember, one day, the roles will reverse. Karma has a way of sneaking up on you.

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10 Facts Every Woman Should Know

1. Everyone has rolls when they bend over. Your body is NEVER going to look perfect. Ever.
2. When someone tells you that you’re beautiful, believe them. Stop thinking that people are just saying it, no they mean it.
3. Sometimes we all wake up with breath that could kill anything that is breathing.  Bad breath happens to everyone.
4. For every woman unhappy with her stretch marks is another woman who wishes she had them. There are so many women who wish they were moms, remember that.
5. You should definitely have more confidence. And if you saw yourself the way others see you, you would. Your can accomplish anything you set your mind too!
6. Don’t look for a man to save you. Be able to save yourself. Men are not heroes, be your OWN hero and save yourself!
7. Life happens outside your comfort zone.  If you never take any risks, you never grow. Life is about growing and learning. Don’t be afraid to live the life YOU want.
8. We all have that one friend who seems to have it all together. That woman with the seemingly perfect life. Well, you might be that woman to someone else.
9. You should be a priority. Not an option, a last resort, or a backup plan. Ever.
10. You’re a woman. That alone makes you pretty damn remarkable. 💕

 

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5 Ways To Love Yourself Everyday

Sleep, wake up, work. And repeat. That’s a daily grind that we all seem to go through daily as we dread the next time the alarm goes off. There’s more to life than work. What is one thing you can do every day to take care of yourself, to gain some important, “me time?”

Start your day off with meditation and exercise.

Sit and focus on how you breathe for at least 1 to 5 minutes or preferably 15 to 20 min. Connect with nature by taking your workouts outside (also great for getting your daily dose of Vitamin D), do some yoga, or simply stretch. Endorphins will surface and lift your spirit and immune system higher. I love going for 2 mile walks.

Read.

Pick a few articles from blogs and websites that you find inspiring and read them throughout the day. Most people don’t’ have time to simply read a book, but if you choose to read a book, make it fictional. The reason is so you can find an escape for at least 15-20 minutes a day reading something that enraptures your imagination.

Put yourself on a schedule so that you make time for play.

Use your vacation days or use a personal day. Even a single mental health day or a short trip out of town is a great mental booster! Get out of your normal routine and do something out of the ordinary. Too often we get use to our comfort zone, that we fall into a rut or we burn out, so use your vacation days before they roll over. Also take time to enjoy the weekends. Weekends with no play are no fun.

Have A Hobby

Letting your creative juices flow with stop you from getting caught up in the monotony of daily life. You also can find it fun and interesting to learn a new skill, or polish up on one that you already have. You could also meet new people as a result of your hobby and join a group or go to a workshop/class on it. Cooking, sewing, woodwork, painting, the ideas are endless and up to you!

Unplug from technology.

What is the first thing people tend to do when they first wake up? They grab their phones, tablets, or laptops and start plugging away. Leave the electronics alone until you’ve given yourself time to get ready for the day ahead. Make time for breakfast, which usually gets ignored or forgotten about and save the email, Facebook, and other social media platforms for the end of your morning ritual.

Have a great Valentine’s Day- Remember to LOVE yourself FIRST.  If you don’t, you can’t expect anyone else too.

hearts

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

20 Signs That You’re In The Right Relationship

You Are In The Right Relationship If…

20) You spend time together doing things you both enjoy

19) You spend time apart doing things you each enjoy

18) When you fight, you fight with a purpose, not just to fight

17) You each have your own friends

16) You maintain your own identity

15) Your family and even your friends like seeing you as a couple

14) The respect you have for each other is mutual

13) You bring out the best in each other

12) You both share future goals

11) You are attracted to your partner mentally, emotionally and physically.

10) You keep each other’s secrets

9) You make a great team and people comment on that.

8) You are sexually compatible

7) You enjoy even doing boring tasks together

6) You both share the same financial goals

5) You both feel that you can be open about your feelings without being judged

4) You give each other the right amount of love and the right amount of space

3) You trust each other- you are always honest with each other

2)You are there for your partner’s successes but also their failures

1) You have accepted each other’s pasts and flaws

Always, always, always, go with your gut! Your intuition will never let you down when it comes to emotions and feelings. With the right partner, you will find fulfillment, peace, and love. A person who can be excited about your success and goals in life is someone who won’t hold you back for one reason or another. Most unhealthy relationships include some form of sabotaging of one partner. If your partner wants to change you in any way, and they aren’t accepting you for who you are, that is a sign of a controlling person and they will never treat you properly. In other words, RUN! Another good sign that someone is right for you is if that person can fit in to other parts of your life and you’re not just living the “relationship bubble.” Your friends and family get along with this person, they have met this person and your relationship is NOT a secret! Secret romances NEVER turn out good- ever!

Finally, every good relationship has boundaries. Boundaries are important because it means someone isn’t a pushover, and they can communicate when they are unhappy. Growth is very important in relationships, particularly in the same direction, so you need to be able to have arguments, and conflicts and points of disagreements without wanting to kill each other.

*** The follow up to Hello Love, Where’s Cupid?, “Ax The Ex,” will be coming in 2019.***

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Are You A Badass and Fearless Woman?

Fearless women do things people don’t expect them to do. Not only that, they set their own standards. Every woman has the opportunity to be badass and fearless at the same time. Here’s how:

1 Wake up feeling fearless:

You set your goals and finds ways of achieving them because the person they should take care of first and foremost, it the one they see in the mirror.

2 Beauty Sleep

There’s such a thing as getting your beauty sleep. 8 hours a night is what you need to wake up refreshed and ready to go. For some reason, women will spend money on beautifying their outer self but resist when it comes to the inner self.  Unless you are planning on being on the cover of Vogue – please invest on what matters most to your success.

3 Get Out Of Your Comfort Zone

. The path to reaching further into your potential is getting out of the same old comfort zone you’ve been in. You cannot expect different results by being the same year after year – now that’s crazy! But go ahead and expect a little chaos in the midst of change. You can handle it.

4 Ready? Set? Go!
There’s no doubt that excising will make you feel and look even more  badass than you are while reading this! So get up off the couch and start exercising.

5 Cinderella Lives

For a woman, having a great pair of sexy high heels not only makes you look badass, but it changes how you feel. When you have your sexy pair you also walk with higher confidence.

6 March To Your Own Drum

March to your own drum. The one that beats to your rhythm. Refrain from following the crowd like sheep or doing everything exactly as someone else does to be successful.

7 Badass and Fearless Women Never Play the Victim Card- Ever!

It’s time to take off the superwoman cape. Stay away from victimhood and martyrdom. While most women are searching social media for acceptance, fearless women are out there living life to the fullest, not giving a rats ass about what others think or say.

8 Your Past is Just That- Your Past

Badass women get to be badass because they don’t dwell on their past, they use it to create their futures.

9 A Badass Woman Needs A Badass Man

Fearless and badass women like their partners to be present and accounted for; texting and using social media are great for quick communication, but she wants a man that shows up and is real. She doesn’t play games.

10 Fearless Women Have No Time To Care About Things They Shouldn’t

Fearless women don’t spend time worrying about how others are shaping up – they are too busy getting their lives in order. Celebrities?  who cares. Folks social media posts? She doesn’t have time for that. She’s got things to do and people to see.

11 Make a Statement

Fearless women are not afraid of saying what’s on their minds, they do it and they aren’t sorry for how they feel.  A badass woman will never ever let anyone treat her like she’s below them. She’s sexy, fearless, empowered and she knows it.

12 Surround Yourself With The Right People

When it comes to friendships or relationships, she isn’t going to surround herself with people who can’t appreciate her for WHO she is. She knows what she brings to the table, so if someone is treating her unfairly,  she knows when to move up and move on.

13 Want A Piece Of Me?

Fearless and sexy women never shy away from going after their dreams. They fight for what they want and believe in no matter what their haters say.  It’s taken years of building herself up in a world that is constantly trying to knock her down so she’s not going to stand for anyone that doesn’t respect her.

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Why The #WhyIDidntReportIt Makes Women Look Weak

I hate to put the brakes on this #metoo movement but this isn’t a movement that is going to get actual results. Let’s take a look at the opposing side, shall we? First of all, all these women coming out, they’re not showing courage and strength; courage and strength would’ve been coming out at the moment it happened while they put their self respect and their self-worth ahead of their careers. Also, do they think that this is actually going to help them in the long run? No it’s not.

Have you ever heard of having an office romance? Well you can kill that now because all men in the office are going to be afraid of having any sort of romantic relationship with any woman in the office. Also imagine having a meeting with an executive if you are a woman. Now if you want have a meeting with an executive you’re not going to be alone with that that executive if he’s a man. He’s going to have a bunch of people in that office because he’s going to be deathly afraid that you were going to then come out 20 years later and say that he sexually harassed you.

When you’re drunk and he’s drunk guess what? it’s not a #metoo moment, it’s two people doing something stupid moment. It’s not being sexually harassed or sexually abused or actually assaulted because you know you’re drunk. No, it’s sorry you made a mistake. When you are drunk you don’t have all your facilities ( your brain) working. You can’t drive, can’t walk a straight line, and can’t remember crap. Do sober women get raped by drunk guys? Yes. But that’s not the story we are hearing now, is it?

So this week on Twitter someone started that trending topic of why I didn’t reported. Sorry I don’t believe you because all you’re looking for is attention, followers and people to join your pity party. You should’ve come out and report is it happen when it happens not when it all of a sudden convenient for you. That’s not how society works and is not how it should work. #WhyIDidn’tReport Sorry your pity party train is being derailed. Sure, I’m going to believe you as you tweeted it on Twitter. I guess I’ve had many, many #metoo moments then if I count all the guys who have DM’ed me their junk looking for quick hook-ups. Or the men who catcall me while jogging.

Here are responses from people on social media that keep being written time and time again during this #metoo movement with Cosby, Harvey Weinstein and the difference between them and Kavanaugh:

1- “I agree that if he is guilty he should pay for his crime, but what I don’t understand is why wait 30 or 40 years to report it? It makes know sense to me!”

2- “I really believe he didn’t do anything wrong I mean why would you wait 30 to 40 years to come forward? These ladies wanted attention… u waited 30-40 years to say something?? And u believe it?? What proof do they have?”

3- “Those women laid with him for a better career now that he is filthy rich they want cash in with rape after those many years!! Why wait sooo many yrs to then speak?”

While there was no physical evidence in the Cosby case(s), he did admit to giving Constand pills, which corroborated the stories of his other victims. Over the course of four days of questioning, Cosby admitted to acquiring Qualuudes, a powerful sedative, to give to women with whom he wanted to have sex.

If Kavanaugh admitted he went to the party but didn’t do anything or that it was consensual like Cosby admitted, then we can make the comparison. However, Kavanaugh has numerous character witnesses that attest to his good conduct and all of the accusers so far have not provided any details as to when/where/why/how. It came out of nowhere!

Here’s what Dr.Christine Blasey Ford said “My best estimate of how this COULD of happened.”

A victim who believes herself would say “DID” happen not could. And another quote, “I don’t have all the answers, and I don’t remember as much as I would like to.” Also, an observation: If that was me I wouldn’t be reading from a script. it would be coming from the heart. But she has her doctorate in psychology so she knows exactly how to play the role. And if she feels it’s her civic duty to come forward now, she would have told it before today, like when Kavanaugh went to law school.

Not all women are believing her. Take this woman’s statement: “As an actual victim I find her disgusting. How dare she use sexual assault for political reasons.

The difference between the #metoo movement and the #WhyIDidntReport hashtag is simple. Anybody can say anything on social media does that make it true and does it make it a fact? No it doesn’t. just because I can write on social media that I was abused 20 years ago doesn’t make it true! Everybody is becoming so naïve and believing everything that people are writing, when there’s no facts behind what people are saying, they’re just words they’re not actions that go along with it.

I can come up with my own. I was 15 and this guys that worked with one of my parents he took me in a closet and he actually assaulted me and he told me that if I said anything he was going to kill my family that’s why I didn’t report it. So would you believe that if I tweeted that? Would you believe that if I post that on Facebook? It’s just words it sounds horrible but does that make it true!

So are all women supposed to “stick together?” Not necessarily. Women are like any other people. They are not always angels. There are many women who will compete with you and not play according to the rules. This is not a perfect world. Behind every successful woman is another woman jealous of her success. As a female I hate how women are just being thrown into the conversation to show, “oh look, we’re progressing!” No, we’re not. It’s an insult to women to just throw them a bone and say, “Oh, we’re progressing, we believe in women and we believe women can have high powering jobs!”

Sure, I know women are smart and I know women can do a great job at being anything they want to be. But let the women earn it.

If that is the one lesson that we all can learn from #MeToo, then I hope most learn it. Remember, respect is earned, not a given.  You need to respect yourself first and foremost if you ever want someone else to reciprocate that respect.  I hope in 2019, the media makes a woman famous for expanding her mind, not her breasts, nor coming out 40 years later to tear down someone just for politics sake.

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Double Standards In Dating

Double Standards.

When it comes to dating there are tons of them. I will cut through the proverbial crap, and just get down to the nitty gritty. Here are four double standards that are not so obvious:

1- When a relationship breaks up men are seen as jerks, women are seen as victims.

2- Men will cheat, women have control.

3- When a man asks a question, he is concerned about his woman. If a woman does, she’s considering to be nagging.

4- Women are always seen as victims when it comes to domestic disputes and men are always seen as the attackers.

The one double standard that is the obvious one is that older men can date younger women with no problem, whereas, older women who date younger men are seen as “rocking the cradle,” and are also called “Cougars.”

I did a study on Twitter recently and 84% of people surveyed said that a woman should be able to date a younger man. And a woman should be able to do so without having judgement passed.  We need to stop this double standard stuff when it comes to dating and just remember one thing: Dating is supposed to be fun, its supposed to lead people together so they can form relationships. And if that means a girl dates a younger guy, so be it. Who are we to judge women and their relationships?

Older women look more appealing to younger guys for a variety of reasons. There is the fact that older women will not play love games and know exactly what they want. Some of them may not want the family, and all that goes with the picket fence, but as a woman’s biological clock ticks even louder, that idea may change. Younger men often find older women more interesting, experimental, fun to talk to, financially settled, and more adept sexually. As one guy in his twenties told me, “I guess it could be nice to not hang around a ditz with no knowledge of life, music, or something like that.”

Age doesn’t always determine maturity. There are men in their twenties that can give any man in their forties a run for his money. Maturity has nothing to do with age but it is the actions & behaviors that you display during adverse situations that do.

A twenty-eight year old guy told me flat out what attracts him to older women: “The experiences in life they’ve had make them more grounded and realistic. I have a preference for women starting at about ten years older than myself and up. It’s adventurous for both of us, because it is a wild and new exciting journey. Younger women just don’t let me grow in the ways older women do.” He added, “You have 30, 40, and 50 year old women today who look like they are 25, and you can’t even tell the difference!”

So what does a woman have to do in order to date a younger man? Are the rules different? And what are advantages for a young guy to date an older woman?

In order to date a younger man, a woman must first attract a younger man into her life. How does that happen? The answer is simple. Be open to the possibility. You don’t have to change how you dress. You don’t have to scout the college bars. Just live your life, and watch what happens. Trust me on this one.

The younger person gets an experienced partner who is often better established in the world. The “senior partner” may also have more money, perhaps, even, a more interesting life. The older person, for her part, gets a higher-energy partner who is likely to help the couple stay fit, quite likely, more sexually active.

Younger men come from a different generation. Therefore, they perceive the world differently than their older counterparts. They grew up with working moms. They respect and admire powerful women. Whereas older men have been taught to see women as accessories to their lives, younger guys see women as equals. (Not all younger guys, but 95% of them) Since younger men accept female empowerment as the norm, that principle transfers into equal partnership. Chances are he’ll be more adventurous than you’re used to. He may challenge your ideals. He’s apt to push you to open your thinking to a new perspective.

What attracts a younger man to an older women, is the lack of games. So, if your default is to pullout the known “this-always-works trick,” forget it. He lacks the polish his older counterparts possess in countering your moves. You’ll be forced to be real. Honesty is the best communication policy here. And, that’s a very good thing. Who really has time to play games anyway? This is the part where older guys can learn a thing or two from the younger guys. No woman wants to play games and no woman has time to play games.

A older woman will also force him to grow up and act more mature. As the older woman you will open the door to a new vision of life for him. You will have experienced things that he may not have yet had the chance to or you may have great advice to offer him for decisions he will have to make. But be prepared because he may have a completely different world view. You will be forced to see things differently, and learn new things. But I find that is more positive than negative. By the way, we always hear that older men are better in bed. Personally, I think it’s just a rumor… started by older men. They may have been with more partners, but being with more partners doesn’t mean that you are “better” than your young counterparts. And younger guys may be more willing to try new things than to just go through the motions as older guys tend to do. 

 

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

The top 5 online dating safety tips for women

The dating scene these days just isn’t what it’s cracked up to be!  People today have for some reason, given up on meeting people in person, which is the best bet for a long, lasting relationship, and have head to online dating sites and apps instead. Now, when it was first created, online dating was a fun new avenue for a woman on the prowl.  But, now it’s a dangerous place filled with cheaters, scammers, criminals, and guys that just want to hook up.  It’s not easy to find a lasting relationship when you are searching through thousands of profiles.  Even though you are sitting at home in your PJ’s hiding behind a keyboard, you need to still be careful of whom and who you eventually decide to meet. Here are some straightforward tips to do just that!

1. Only arrange a meeting with someone you have been getting to know for a while now. If you feel that you are at the point where you want to meet someone, always meet them in a public place, away from your home and be sure to tell someone where you are going.
2. Do not tell him where you live. Never give out your address, until you feel safe to do so. This should be after a few dates. Once they know where you live, there is no going back.
3. Do not accept a ride on the first date. Use your own method of transportation. Even if they seem like a great guy, you should not get in a car with them. Especially if you are alone with them and not out on a group date.
4.  Do not go to any secluded areas. Even if you want to be alone, remember that you are on a date with someone you have no idea about. Yeah he tells you what he does for a living and blah.. blah… blah.. , but how do you really know? Give yourself a chance to really get to know  him out before you take his word for everything and before he takes you to his parents house on the beach.
5. Pay attention to your gut feeling. You don’t want to be kicking yourself later on if you didn’t listen to it when it told you that this guy was no good, and now you are stuck in a big complete mess.  This is hard to do because people tend to fall in love with a profile, not a person online and your intuition may be foggy because of it.

the bottom line for being safe on any online dating site or app is this:

Let someone know you’re going out with someone new, tell them where you’re going, and set a time for them to check in on you and make sure you’re okay.  You should never feel bad for putting your safety first, even if it means you have to do something that feels rude.