Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

Words Matter: Be Ashamed If You Body Shame Others Online

Yesterday was my cousin’s wedding ceremony.  Due to Covid19, the wedding has been postponed twice, so they decided to have a legal ceremony on the day that they had their first date.  That’s not what this post is about, but it’s the partly the reason I am writing it.  Yesterday I wore this little black dress that I recently bought.  It was a dress that was not loose fitting, but a little snug in the midsection.  Every time I ever need to dress up to go to a function, I spend hours in the mirror criticizing myself about how I “think” people are going to perceive me. ( Of course I am wrong, but my brain doesn’t think so at the time.)  I put this dress on and spun around looking at myself in the mirror, looking to see just how much of midsection was “noticeable.”   I hate to go out and not look “skinny,” in whatever I am wearing.  I say to myself that If I don’t feel comfortable that I will have a lousy time.

Yesterday was very different.

I usually end up talking myself out of wearing something and put on something else, but yesterday I didn’t. I kept that little black dress on and went to the wedding and enjoyed myself.  Now, I am not fat. I am not obese. I am not heavy or big-boned. I am of a normal weight for a short girl.  I don’t wear a size 0 or size 4 or even a size 6.  Depending on the brand, I am any where from a size 8 to a size 12.  Seriously, the way that clothes are made today is unreal.  I should be the same size no matter what brand I buy, but I am not.

This got me thinking yesterday of all the body shaming going down on social media lately. I see young girls on TikTok posting videos of,  “How to get skinny.”   I see young women posting videos of them telling others that they have to get back to being skinny and so forth.  I also see guys, body shaming women.  Some of the comments are so over the top nasty.

1) ” I don’t know what you are doing but you look so much better now! Look at all the weight you lost!”

2) “If you lose weight someone will love you.”

3) “Look at that fat body. What a waste of a pretty face.”

4) “You don’t have the right body to be doing that.”

5) “Why are you posting a picture of you in a bikini when you are no where near being a bikini model!”

6) Now that Pat Mahomes got his big contract he can now dump that disgusting girlfriend.”  ( yesterday, he got the biggest contract in NFL history)

Now body shaming isn’t just about saying rude and obnoxious things, but it’s also when a guy ONLY pays a woman a compliment on HOW she looks.  ( Beautiful, gorgeous, hot, sizzling, etc,”  Why can’t guys ever just compliment  a girl/woman without using her looks as part of the compliment?

Now we all can do one day with a bad hair day, or wish that parts of our bodies were different, but sometimes it is overwhelming which stops us from doing all kinds of things.  We start to develop anxiety about our bodies. We start to question why someone would even want to love us or even be with us in a romantic situation.

This is why body shaming has to stop.

We then become ashamed of our muffin tops, love handles, or flat bums. We then pick apart other parts of our body like our noses, thighs, arms,  and legs. And for what? To be accepted by a bunch of immature, self-conceited , superficial guys who don’t look like the Ken doll that they should be as they want to be with ever girl that resembles Barbie!

Give me a break!

Looks don’t make the man or the woman.  What should matter most is the person they are on inside; their personality.  Would you rather be with someone so vain or be with someone who was caring, compassionate, funny, and who supported your vision for the future?

Looks fade, who that person is from the inside out stays forever.

The next time you see someone body shaming someone else on social media tell them this; ““I do not give a &$#! about what men think about my body. I don’t care about what women think about my body. My body is not for other people, and the only person whose opinion matters about how I look is mine.”

 

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

A sneak peek of my upcoming book, “Relationship Impossible”

Coming in 2021 is the follow up to my best selling book, “Hello Love, Where’s Cupid? 2nd Ed”   The book will be titled; ” Relationship Impossible,” as we continue to discuss online dating, dating apps, social media, double standards, men and dating,  single-hood,  sex advice for women and men plus a lot more.

With technology being the sole way that people today communicate, there has been a lot said of social media and of texting.  Many people use direct messaging as a way to talk to someone without having to “give up” their phone number right away to talk.  This also can be seen as a red flag because any guy that keeps refusing to give out his number is mostly cheating. BUT… in the beginning DM’s are the most popular way to reach out and “touch” someone in 2020.  This method of communication brings a lot confusion and misery at the same time because a lot of guys leave girls on read.

For those who are still in the dark days of communication, here is what to be “left on read” means:  To read someone’s message or messages and not give any response, particularly on an instant messaging application where it is visible to any user as to whether or not the person has read a message.   Now that we cleared this up, here are 5 reasons a guy leaves a girl on read: ( The explanation for each will be in the book.)

1) They are avoiding conflict.

2) They are overwhelmed.

3) They lack confidence.

4) They don’t see your worth.

5) They don’t know what to say.

NOTE: Just because it says read, doesn‘t mean it was meant to be read. They might‘ve seen the message come in, not wanted to open it, accidentally did and just moved on without responding.  Or they are attracted to you and like you—so they are going to play a little game. They are going to make you think the complete opposite.  Which can always back fire on a guy- they don’t think it will, but 9 out of 10 times it does.   Some girls then get bitchy ( myself included) and after weeks go by, leave a nasty, “You are such a jackass,” type message for not answering me at all.  This is how this “strategy” the guys seem to think will work back fires because they made us think number 4 on the list, when in fact they see our worth but want to play games instead.

Being left on read, just doesn’t happen in the dating/relationship world. It also happens in the social media world of athletes and fans.  Have you ever responded to an athletes Instagram story and hoped to get a response? Have you ever sent them a message and hoped they would respond to you?  If the answer is yes, then you are not alone.  95% of fans of sports teams and athletes have sent messages to their favorite players to only be left on read.  5% of athletes actually respond back.  That is a fact.  This is because of course, number 4 on the list, where they think they are “better” than you and that you don’t deserve a simple response back.  Now, if your message is one of hate you don’t deserve them to a respond but instead you deserve a good kick in the ass for being rude and vile. That type of stuff is uncalled for!

Athletes as I have pointed out in the past, don’t understand social media as well as they think they do. There is so much power within the platforms that they don’t use it as it is intended but rather use it to make themselves, time and time again, look ignorant.  ( See Chapter 7: Social Media and Dating Apps: A New Game for Today’s Athletes. )

The “hook up” culture will also be discussed at length but I also will touch on the sex industry once again.
In the best seller, which was also up for book of the year 2016, “Hello Love, Where’s Cupid 2nd ed”  we discussed that not only is porn one of the top selling industries, but also adult toy and sex accessories are a growing second. There are websites for guys, for girls, and for couples. And more and more women are having “slumber” parties and I don’t mean sleepovers. (see, its not just the guys!) here is a website that is designed for women to purchase sex toys, sex guides, sex outfits, (you know like sexy maid, sexy cheerleader, sex firefighter,) and sex products that add a little erotica to a playful evening. The best thing is that this company is like “Tupperware or Avon” where women can work and they get to go to another woman’s house and “show off’ the products. (No guys, there are no
demonstrations, sorry to burst your bubble there.)

** You can purchase Hello Love, Where’s Cupid? 2nd Ed Here —-> Link  **

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Exciting Announcement

First and foremost I am excited for the launch of my first T-shirt Store: ONLINE ONLY!

There I will sell different t-shirts rotating the type every 3 weeks.  I have 5 designs on the site now- 1 of them is for charity!

Click here to go to the store

The next exciting thing is that I released some more of my music that I wrote back in 2008. It is now on Youtube –  it’s music only, no singing ( not yet)

Here is that link

Finally,

Here are all the links on where I be doing the contest for charity that I will be doing all #MemorialDayWeekend:

1) Facebook Page

2) Pinterest

3) Twitter

I will be giving away signed copies of the books I wrote along with gift cards and I designed some fashionable tank tops with mini tote bags. I also have signed autographs from some baseball players that will be auctioned away.

Hope to see you all this weekend during the contests for charity!

 

 

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

What Have We Learned?

Starting week five of being quarantined in my house, I am starting to look at what this virus is ( and should be) teaching us about life and about relationships. As this pandemic has unfolded, it has shifted how we live, how we work and how we value life.

The coronavirus has taught us that we are all connected. No matter how much money we make, where we live, what religion we practice, and so-forth, the virus has shown us that in times like this, when we stick together are we at our strongest and it has reminded us of just how much we have taken for granted. Not being able to gather together, hug each other, having the freedom to go out where and when we want, are just a few things that we have taken for granted now that we have to sit at home. Every day just pours into next day. If you haven’t thought about it, take a drive around your town and look at how it looks like a ghost town right about now.

During this crisis we may indeed notice who and what is most important. People now know who their true friends really are and just how important you are to them. Everyone is “stuck” at home. If they haven’t reached out by email, text, or even DM, then I am sorry to say…..   to finish reading, click the link and it will take you to the article I wrote for Vocal Media:

The Lessons from The CoronaVirus

index

 

 

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

Relationships In Times Of Social Distancing

As we have been quarantined for awhile now practicing social distance, working from home, and now not being able to be around other people, it got me thinking about relationships in our lives.

There pretty much are four categories:

1- Those that are familiar and make us feel good.

2- Those that bring you adventure and make you question everything.

3- Those that are put on hold.

4- Those that make you crave more.

First and foremost, the relationships that most of us miss are the familiar. Our families, friends, and co-workers. The ones that we spend the most time with during the day, let alone the week. Of course these people are the ones that make us feel good about our lives and make us feel full of life. Whether we have small conversations during the day, hang out at the bar after work or make plans with friends to go to “the game,” we have connections that increase our emotional well being and boost your mood. It’s essential to have those people in your life who you can trust when we face those challenges life can bring and having someone to vent to is also important.

The next type of relationship are the ones that bring us adventure and make you question just about everything in that happens in life. These are needed for an upbeat life- not a dull life. Without these connections and relationships, we would all live a very depressed life. Successful lives grow out of having adventures. The adventure of your life is so important that it demands the best of your attention, and the most of your energies, on a daily basis, so that you can have a well-balanced life. Being adventurous and questioning why things are the way they are, expands and broaden our mind and makes us learn new and unique things which were unknown before.

The bad thing about being stuck in quarantine, are the relationships that were now put on hold. There are some folks that get excited about meeting new people, having new friendships, and even having romantic relationships blossom. In this time of social distancing, we are forced to put some of these new possibilities on hold simply because to build a relationship isn’t something you can do over just with texting, Facetime and social media, it’s something that we have to do physically.

Of course there are relationships that make us crave more. These are a combination of 1-3. The importance of adventure in our life provides a positive attitude in the same way it releases our stress because during the adventure it take us away from our hectic life to a new happy life at least for a short period of time. Some relationships inspire us, shape us, mold us, and make us simply appreciate life more. All of us need love in our lives, even though there might be some people who will deny that.

Where there is love ,there is hope. And when there is hope, then anything is possible. Love doesn’t have an age, a race, a religion, or a gender. Love is something that binds us together. It’s the soul of any relationship.

So, while we sit here and wait for our lives to get back to normal, I hope that when we do, we don’t go back to “normal.” I hope this quarantine and social distancing makes each and every one of us realize how blessed we are to have relationships already in our lives, the chance to grow new relationships, and the possibility to make each moment we get to live, memorable. Maybe we will appreciate each other more. Maybe we will love with less restrictions. Maybe when all is said and done, we will take time to literally, “smell the roses,” while being forced right now to wake up and “smell the coffee.”

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

Corona Virus 101: What The Media Isn’t Telling You

( ALL RESEARCHED!!)

Human coronavirus is a common, enveloped, positive-sense RNA virus, with most people contracting it during their lifetime. Coronaviruses cause mild to moderate upper-respiratory tract illnesses. There are six currently known strains of coronaviruses that infect humans. The most common infection globally is from human coronaviruses 229E, NL63, OC43, and HKU1. The much publicized human coronavirus, SARS-CoV, which causes severe acute respiratory syndrome, or SARS, has a unique pathogenesis because it causes both upper and lower respiratory tract infections and can also cause gastroenteritis. The six human coronaviruses are: alpha coronaviruses 229E and NL63, and beta coronaviruses OC43, HKU1, SARS-CoV (SARS), and MERS-CoV (the coronavirus that causes Middle East Respiratory Syndrome or MERS).

Human coronaviruses were first identified in the mid-1960s. The seven coronaviruses that can infect people are:

229E (alpha coronavirus)
NL63 (alpha coronavirus)
OC43 (beta coronavirus)
HKU1 (beta coronavirus)

MERS-CoV (the beta coronavirus that causes Middle East Respiratory Syndrome, or MERS)
SARS-CoV (the beta coronavirus that causes severe acute respiratory syndrome, or SARS)
SARS-CoV-2 (the novel coronavirus that causes coronavirus disease 2019, or COVID-19)

People around the world commonly get infected with human coronaviruses 229E, NL63, OC43, and HKU1.

Sometimes coronaviruses that infect animals can evolve and make people sick and become a new human coronavirus. Three recent examples of this are 2019-nCoV, SARS-CoV, and MERS-CoV.

Coronaviruses are a large group of viruses that cause diseases in animals and humans. They often circulate among camels, cats, and bats, and can sometimes evolve and infect people.

In animals, coronaviruses can cause diarrhea in cows and pigs, and upper respiratory disease in chickens. In humans, the viruses can cause mild respiratory infections, like the common cold, but can lead to serious illnesses, like pneumonia.

Middle East Respiratory Syndrome (MERS) was first reported in 2012 in Saudi Arabia and spread to more than 25 other countries. MERS originated in camels and emerged to infect people. Symptoms usually include fever, cough, and shortness of breath, and often progress to pneumonia. About 3 or 4 out of every 10 patients reported with MERS have died. MERS cases continue to occur, primarily in the Arabian Peninsula; however, as of 2019, there have been only two confirmed cases of MERS in the US, both in 2014.

Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome (SARS) originated in small mammal and emerged to infect people. SARS was first reported in Southern China in 2002 and the illness spread to more than two dozen countries in North America, South America, Europe, and Asia. Symptoms include fever, chills, and body aches, and may progress to pneumonia. Infection with the SARS virus causes acute respiratory distress (severe breathing difficulty), with a mortality rate of about 10 percent. No human cases of SARS have been reported anywhere in the world since 2004.

Both seasonal flu viruses (which include influenza A and influenza B viruses) and COVID-19 are contagious viruses that cause respiratory illness. Typical flu symptoms include fever, cough, sore throat, muscle aches, headaches, runny or stuffy nose, fatigue and, sometimes, vomiting and diarrhea, according to the CDC. Flu symptoms often come on suddenly. Most people who get the flu will recover in less than two weeks. But in some people, the flu causes complications, including pneumonia.
In general, studies of hospitalized patients have found that about 83% to 98% of patients develop a fever, 76% to 82% develop a dry cough and 11% to 44% develop fatigue or muscle aches, according to a review study on COVID-19 published Feb. 28 in the journal JAMA. Other symptoms, including headache, sore throat, abdominal pain, and diarrhea, have been reported, but are less common. Critical cases are those who have underlying health conditions. #Flu #Corona

So  now doctor’s offices are asking parents not to bring in their sick kid into the doctor’s office. I get it IF they traveled to the affected areas BUT if a kid has a cough and fever but didn’t travel, then the doctor will see them in the office? What about before this coronavirus – they saw kids with coughs and fevers- and they never got this upset over it before!
This virus isn’t new- Corona has many other strains- the flu kills more and that sadly includes kids. They had patients in waiting rooms with the flu!

This whole thing is blown out of proportion 🤦‍♀️ ( BTW: over 500,000 in Europe and Asia)  are now better from the virus. You just don’t hear that from the media at all!

Now the NHL, MLB, NBA are not granting beat writers locker room access.  Heaven Forbid you want to high five or fist bump a player- oh no, you can’t now because of the damn corona! But you can take a picture with them and sit or stand really, really, close to them instead! #Sarcasm

They are thinking of having games with fans.   People are not taking trips, don’t want to be at events or even BNI, because This entire thing is out of proportion and by everyone doing these things – adds to the PANIC that is it causing. This IS NOT using common sense. Especially since the death toll in the States is only at 26. The Death toll to date on the flu in the US: 14,000 and that included 100 kids.

The chance of catching Corona is almost zero. Whereas you have a 5% to 20% of catching the flu.  Stop posting places to buy toilet paper, wipes, sanitizer, disinfectant spray, hand soap, etc.  Stop adding to the freaking panic!
Wash your hands.
Wipe down devices.
Wipe down doorknobs.
Cough and Sneeze in your elbow.
Throw out used tissues.
Stay home if you are sick.
All these things that you can to do by using common sense. That’s what we should be preaching- not preaching panic!

 

 

 

 

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

Behind The Scenes- Continued

 

We are now almost done with competition season! So far my team finished 3rd in the first competition we competed in and this last time, we finished 2nd ( won a trophy!)

Did you know that you can follow along on my Youtube channel and see BOTH routines as well as my behind the scenes footage to practicing!

You can follow along on myInstagram as well as my IGTV channel.

One more week to go – and it’s the BIG ONE: Sectionals!

Then after that, I start planning for the next season.

Next blog post will be the behind the scenes of me meeting and talking to some athletes as well as writing my follow up book to “Hello Love Where’s Cupid? 2nd Ed”

 

 

 

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

Diary of a Social Gal Part 5

 

People think that I must lead a glorious life.  Blogger, Writer, Girl Boss, Cheerleading Coach, and so forth. Oh yes,  it’s glorious. (Add Sarcasm)

Let me preface this story with a wild little fact:  Doing all the above as your full-time job is actually really hard work! When I tell people what I do, they often laugh and say something like,  “Must be nice getting paid to sit in your PJs all day.”  Clearly, there is some confusion about what I do all day, so I’m here to spill the beans-

First thing I do each day is work out.
Then it’s time for coffee and mapping out my day.
I do have to then check emails, social media platforms for me and my clients.

Next thing on my list is to see what I can get done quickly.  ( I will go into this later on)

Writing, blogging, researching topics for my books, for social media posts, and also checking the updates to what each social media platform is doing in regards to the algorithm.   Now I can either post live or schedule some posts to go off later on.

Of course then I have to now switch gears and watch cheerleading routines – you should see my collection of DVDs – I also check out Pinterest and Youtube.  Then of course I have to make sure things that I would like my team to do are within the rules.

Workout 2 begins- Dance

Then well, I guess I should take a break.  So it’s probably lunchtime by now and if I don’t have any meetings or phone calls I can at least give myself an hour to do nothing.  (Now, when I have my radio show, I usually during lunchtime am setting up what I am going to be talking about and reviewing what I should talk about)

When that hour is over I now turn my attention in looking into some of my other ideas, create something, work on something, and I am either back online or responding to emails and messages.

Practice time

Home and I am done for the day. Although sometimes I do answer more emails at this time but I now give myself time to recoup from the day, watch sports, and go to sleep.

Check out the video on Twitter, Facebook and Pinterest and stay tuned for videos coming entitled:

behind the scene

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

The Diary Of A Social Gal Part 4

teaching

I enjoyed my years as a teacher.  When people ask me what was my favorite part, I always without hesitation answer, the kids.  The kids were the best part of the job.  They taught me a lot about life.

1- Preschool children are matter-of-fact and blunt with the truth. Truthful and direct feedback also helps us build resilience, instead of always sugar-coating the truth and only telling someone what they want to hear.

2- All children come from different backgrounds, but when you see them skip or run through the playground and run to hug you, they make it clear that they are there to have fun in a safe environment and that they feel secure.

3- Kids love to learn without even knowing that they are learning.  To them, it makes the world exciting and new.  Kids have the knack of wanting to ask the questions, “Why?” “How?” “When?” all day long.  They have curious minds and this love of learning is what molds them into the adults they will become.

Working with kids I have developed patience,  got much more comfortable in my own skin no matter what someone else thinks.  I have learned that being truthful and kind are so very important in this world and when all else fails,  always know that a cookie can make everything feel better.

Adults have to remember that they are the example they set for their kids and for kids in general. We are each child’s biggest influence, and if we are patient, kind, good-tempered, and happy, then they will be too.

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

20 random things about me for 2020

 

1- I am trademarking a name of a product that I intend to sell.

2. I am still researching the development of an app.

3. My follow-up to hello love where is Cupid second edition will be published in 2020. I still yet have to create a title.

4. My competition cheerleading team will be competing in 2020.

5. I will be posting a lot more branded content in 2020 since I am a social media influencer and a lot more companies want me to do it. 

6. I want to read 20 books in 2020.

7. I may go back to school to take a course in 2020, but I am still looking at my options.

8. I never make New Year Resolutions…. ever.

9. I will also be writing a few short stories in 2020.  Including a paperback for my Cat’s Diary Book.

10. I am on social media for work at least 60 hours a week- but I do take breaks.

From 11 to 20 will just be random fun facts about me- so you can get to know me.

11. I was not made for winter.  Summer is my favorite season.

12. I wrote my best seller ” Hello Love, Where’s Cupid? 2nd ed” while I was at the beach. ( I put it together… It took 2 years of research though.)

13. I can’t eat mushrooms.

14. I really don’t like to eat fish unless I put hot sauce on it.  But I do like crab cakes and shrimp.

15. My birthday in 2020 is on a Tuesday thanks to leap year!

16.  I spend my early mornings working out, drinking coffee, planning out my day.

17. I am part of a million dollar BNI chapter.

18. I can’t stand it when people don’t say Thank you.  I don’t need anything in return other than having folks show me that they appreciate my effort.

19. I am left-handed.  Living in a right-handed world still isn’t that easy.

20. My favorite flower is a daisy. My favorite color is pink.