Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

Links of The Best Of Stephanie Articles…

Here are 7 articles Stephanie has written that have been featured articles for Blogher and SheKnows.

Why Women Should Enjoy Having Orgasms As Much As Men Do Link: http://www.blogher.com/why-women-should-enjoy-having-orgasms-much-men-do
The High Risks of STDs and Online Dating Link: http://www.blogher.com/online-dating-and-stds-go-together-cookies-and-milk

Why Women In Their 20s Can Learn A Lot From Women In Their 40s Link: http://www.blogher.com/why-women-their-20s-can-learn-lot-women-their-40s
#womenslives I Want to Adopt and Become a Single Parent Someday Link: http://www.blogher.com/my-5-reasons-why-i-want-adopt-and-become-single-parent-someday

The 20 Worst Pick-Up Lines Of All Time Link: http://www.blogher.com/20-worst-pick-lines-all-time

Do You Believe In Fate? Are Two People Simply “Meant to Be”? Link: http://www.blogher.com/there-such-thing-fate

Turn Your Good Sex Into AMAZING Sex Link: http://www.blogher.com/how-turn-good-sex-amazing-sex

 

 

 

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

An Open Letter To Men Everywhere

Dear Guys,

When are some men going to learn how to treat women with consideration and respect? While some men know how to treat women kindly, the rest of the men just plainly don’t know how! See, here’s what some of you guys tend to forget: We all have been hurt in our past. Yet, getting back at the past while in the present is counterproductive and hurtful to others.

 

You can’t change the past. You can, however, learn to move past it. The girlfriend who dumped you, the ex-wife who made you bitter, and everyone else who did you wrong don’t matter anymore. The past actually shapes you into the man you are today. Remember, quit making excuses about your life. Nobody made you the way you are. You made that choice yourself. If you stay in the past, then you miss the good-hearted people in front of you, like the female friend you flirt with and are scared to date.

Some women are patient and will wait for you to be ready, while other women will just move on without you and leave you in the past.

Friendships with women are special, and very different from your friendships with the guys. If you want to keep their friendship and are the gentleman you say you are, then stop sending mixed signals. If you don’t want their attention, then don’t act like you do. And if you already showed your interest and then backed off with no explanation, you are then hurting someone who is very special.

Guys, why do some of you act like a person you’d never want near your sister? Stop the immature and hurtful behavior. Try honesty, respect and consideration, all ingredients for friendship. Besides, there is a thing called karma, and she never forgets an address. If you love her, then prove it. If you need her, then show her. If you never show her, then your words eventually mean nothing.

Think of it this way, would you want your daughters or sisters to be treated with such disrespect and dishonesty? Divorced men with daughters should remember that when you grow a friendship with a woman. Tell her that you are a family man. Don’t treat her like you are interested, only to spew the line months later, “I just don’t want to mislead you.” Karma will come back around when it’s your daughter’s turn to date. You can’t have your cake and eat it too.

Just know that the best way to handle any situation is to talk. Yeah, we know you guys hate that, but with communication comes understanding. Sometimes, all a woman wants is for you to fight for her. Make her believe that you may want this relationship more than she does. If you want your relationship to move forward, you have to let go of the past and learn to write your own future.

Sincerely,

Women Everywhere

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

15 Reasons Why You Are Still Single

“I hate being single!” or, “Why am I so unlucky in love?” Do these sound familiar? If so, then welcome to Single-hood. I will admit, some people are really unlucky when it comes to love. I have seen it first hand, but there are those who are still single due to those are left in the “pool” while others are single due to being their own worst enemy. Then of course you have those people who call you “desperate.” Lets get one stereotype cleared up though: I am not desperate because I am single. I am single because I am not desperate. There’s a difference. If you are running from relationship to relationship, then okay, you are desperate, but if you struggling to find someone and you have your standards, you are NOT desperate, you are smart.

This is NOT for those people. The ones who are smart enough to take a step back, look at the situation, and go slow into finding someone to have a real relationship with instead of rushing themselves to the altar.

This is for those who are sabotaging any chance they get at having a relationship and there are 15 good reasons why you are still single.

Lets start off small:

 

1- You have annoying habits that scare people away.

We all know someone who has this annoying habit of talking with food in their mouth. We all also know someone who is obsessed with their blackberry or iPhone. You interrupt people while they are talking and talk about something else or just talk on and on, was another relationship breaker that was mentioned. Other annoying habits that scare people away that were mentioned by people were not being given space and always feeling like they are smothered. Everyone needs space. In order to keep a relationship fresh and keep someone interested it’s important to remember that everyone needs down time.

 

2- You don’t pay attention and constantly make the other person repeat.

It doesn’t cost anything to pay attention. If someone is talking to you and you are too busy doing something else, what does that say about how you value the other person? We as a society need to learn to listen better. Most people just listen for the cue to when its their turn to speak, they don’t actually listen to what is being said. Focus on what exactly someone is saying, not just on the fact that their mouth is moving. Communication is key to any relationship and part of that is listening to what others are saying.

 

3- Loyalty, Honesty, & Trust issues.

Let me give you the straight definition of each term. Loyalty is faithfulness or a devotion to a person, country, group, or cause. Honesty refers to a facet of moral character and connotes positive and virtuous attributes such as integrity, truthfulness and straightforwardness along with the absence of lying, cheating or theft. And Trust is, the assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something. These three are tied together. When you don’t have one in any relationship, you don’t have any of them. When you are loyal, you don’t cheat. When you have faith that the person you love only loves you; then you have trust. And when you trust someone, you know that they are being fully honest with you about every aspect of the relationship.

 

4- You constantly talk about your ex or previous relationship nonstop.

I know some ladies who constantly talk about previous relationships as if they are still continuing. When you still have serious baggage you can not and SHOULD NOT even start to think about having a new relationship when you aren’t even over the previous one. This is mistake that many single ladies make. They hop into a new relationship just so they can forget about how “Dave” ripped their heart into a million pieces, or they sleep with the first guy that glances over at them in a bar, restaurant, gym, etc. This is also very “desperate” behavior which signifies very deep self-worth, self-esteem issues, because when you settle just for “anyone” to get over someone with whom you had an emotional and physical relationship with, you are setting yourself up for even a bigger disaster.

 

5- You have a negative outlook on life.

Negativity breeds negativity just like positivity breeds positivity If you have the “whoa is me,” attitude, who wants to be around that and listen to it 24/7? I know that I don’t. Who wants to keep hearing how work stinks, how much you wish you would be able to live somewhere else, or how everyone around you is having babies and families but not me? Always see the cup as half full instead of half empty.Your self-esteem and emotional strength depends solely on your manner of thinking and how you see things around you.

 

6- You are oversharing too fast.

Making a full disclosure within first few meetings can be disastrous since you are not aware how the other person is going to react to the “skeltons” you reveal. Again, our new date doesn’t need to know why you hate your family, why your previous relationships didn’t work, your money issues, etc. Remember, less history equals more mystery. By oversharing too fast, you have shown all the cards in your hand to your opponent. So now, you in turn give him or her more power over you and your emotions.

 

7- You have fantasy-like, unrealistic ideas about the opposite sex.

Sadly some women just want to meet a tall, handsome guy who has money and other perks that will make them live happily ever after. The problem with fairy tales is that they set a girl up for disappointment. In real life, the Prince goes off with the wrong Princess. If all you want is to be somebody’s “trophy wife,” you really are setting yourself up for disaster, heartbreak, and torture. Relationships shouldn’t be based on looks, money or perks. Relationships should be based on personality, compatibility, and civility. There’s a difference between being picky and being discriminating. Being picky is about focusing on traits and other details that look good on the surface. Being discriminating is about using good judgment and focusing on how well a man treats you and how you connect with him. (same for a man, a woman should treat you with respect as well.)

You must be clear about what qualities you’re willing to live with and what you can’t live without.

In today’s society we are all told that men need to be with someone “hot” and that women need to find a man with money. Don’t fall for what society tells you. Look at how screwed up it is. Never apologize for having HIGH standards because people who really want to be in your life will rise up to meet them. Stop dreaming about the fairy tale, stop wanting a guy to put you on a pedestal, and stop wanting the movie-like romance. Relationships are REAL.

 

8- You keep going after the wrong partner

This happens more than people realize. There is such a thing as “Bad boy complex” whereas women are attracted to a guy who is labeled as a bad boy type. Those guys are just after one thing, they aren’t after having a relationship, they are after scoring with you and moving forward, playing head games, and acting as if they care when they don’t. Or you are attracted to guys who are not emotionally available. Physically they want to spend time with you, but emotionally they don’t know if they are coming or going. If you don’t love yourself first, you will constantly be chasing people who don’t love you either.

 

9- You don’t take care of yourself

If you constantly let yourself go, no wonder no one wants to date you! Guys want ladies who take care of themselves. This includes things like wearing nice clothes, doing your hair, makeup, exercising and even watching what you eat. It’s not that you aren’t appealing; first impressions are important, then he won’t even waste his time on you at all. Remember, you don’t need to go overboard, but most men’s eyes are going to go the women who are more appealing. So save the sweatpants with the holes in it, for home, not for when you head out.

 

10- You’re being judgmental and insecure

We all judge, we’re human. But there’s a difference between having an opinion and judging someone based on outer knowledge. Hating on other women because you are insecure about who you are, is something men can’t stand. It’s one thing to want the same clothes, hairstyle and shoes, but it’s another when the jealousy gets so deep that all you do is compare yourself to them. All the negative talk saps out all the fun and flirtness from your partner. The only person you should worry about is yourself. Stop worrying about competing with others and focus on you.

 

11- You have sex with your partner too soon

According to YourTango.com, “If you sleep with a man the first time you meet him, there’s a good chance he may not call for a second date. Why? He may feel that he has gotten everything from you that’s worth getting. By not giving him more than a kiss the first night you meet him, he will be encouraged to continue the pursuit.” Having sex in the first few months of a relationship is what ultimately kills a relationship. It’s easy to become infatuated with another person, but lust doesn’t always lead to love. When the both of you are connected emotionally as well as physically, the sex will be so much more meaning.

 

12- You reak of desperation

Some women wear the tattoo on their forehead that reaks “I’m desperate!” When you stop your tired chase for love, it will show up. This is what online dating is all about: desperate people looking for quick relationships. Get off online dating and put yourself literally out there in the world. Expand your social circle by joining sports groups, church groups, volunteer doing charity work, and even go out on the town on your own. You never know who you will meet if you don’t go out and just have fun.

 

13- You limit yourself

It’s great to have standards, but that doesn’t mean you should limit yourself to only dating blondes, guys with blue eyes, guys with muscles, etc. Women have an unrealistic idea that they need to just date someone according to their standards, but who you date and your standards are two totally different things. Your standards are what you value, not what the guy will look like or be like. If you go ahead and date that computer geek, he may not have the “look” but he probably will live up to your standards.

 

14- Your so are vain

The song Carly Simon sings, “I bet you think this song is about you,” is how some people think. When you act like a total diva who wants to be with you? Don’t be the woman who no man want to be around because you overly love yourself or are a total witch. Stand up for yourself, yes, but pick your battles. Some women are so vain that they won’t like a guy just because he has a bad haircut or didn’t wear a shirt that is from a certain designer, so they will write him off as boyfriend material.

 

15- You don’t ask any questions

It’s great to have similar interests, but if you don’t ask questions to get to know someone, and only talk about yourself, you might as well date yourself. The only true way to see if you have chemistry with someone is to get to know them. And the best way to get to know someone is to ask questions. Just remember number six and don’t overshare too soon. If a question makes you uneasy, don’t feel pressure to answer, “just because” instead tell him that you can’t answer that question right now but will in the future. This way you don’t scare them away with oversharing and you also seem interested in having a relationship with him.

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

It’s Ironic When You Find Someone Who You Wanted On A Dating Site

So while doing my online dating research I came across a profile nearly made me throw up!

This guy that I was involved with, grew a friendship and wanted to move the relationship to the next level.  After that he told me, “We’ll talk,” and then that was pretty much the last I heard from him for six months until I saw him again and we slowly started our friendship all over again. Then once again, he vanished and that was it for me. I had enough. I gave him a second chance and he blew it.
People don’t believe me when I tell them that 99% of people flat out LIE on dating sites. Well, I can vouch on this one since I know him and know him very well.
The end where he lists his “ideal date” for coffee or a drink: He doesn’t like coffee and he doesn’t drink due to his liver disease he has. Or maybe he lied to me, but EVERY time we were together all he drank was Diet Coke.  He also listed that he enjoys running. Let me tell you that when I told him that I go running he said, “I can’t get into running, running is boring.”  Of course after I told him my running schedule ( time and place) he shows up on the path.

I laugh at his story and for what he is looking for because he HAD all that and chose to pass it by. Instead he wants the leftovers that are on online dating sites.

Most women think it’s a good idea to just send that “Dear John” letter and vent, but I will tell you that is one of the worst things to do. It just makes you look ridiculous. BUT… if you have a blog and you write, you can always just write what you would love to say to him and call it a day.  ( TIP: don’t use his name that is not such a good idea either.)

WHAT I WOULD SAY IF I COULD:

I know the Bible says to turn the other cheek, but right now I think Jesus would hold my jacket while I kick your ass. You’re a liar, narcissistic jerk, and you better pray that your daughters never run into a jackass like you.  Karma is like a boomerang. What you throw at others will eventually come back to smack you in the face.  I don’t think you were a mistake, because had I not been with you and gotten to really know you, I would have never realized that I seriously need to raise my standards. I finally realized months ago that I deserve better. I’ve moved on. My new beginning starts now- without you.  As Kelly Clarkson sang, “Since you’ve been gone, I can breath for the first time.”

I was simply an option you kept open just in case your plan to test the dating pool backfired. I’m no one’s option. I’m not anyone’s plaything. You don’t get to drop me & pick me back up whenever you feel like it.

I pity the woman that ends up with you.

The End

THE LIAR’S PROFILE:

“I am looking for someone who wants to be loved and enjoy life. I am hardworking kind man looking for a woman who wants to be happy and share great times.

My match is sincere and honest. Someone who can laugh and joke and also be romantic. There needs to be attraction of course.

Ideal date: A relaxed meeting for coffee or a drink.”

REMEMBER:  If you want to be treated differently, accept no less than what you deserve. Know Your Worth! I know mine. ❤️‍

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

The Online-dating Research Papers (part 2)

Here’s a profile I found on a dating site. People don’t get it.

1) If you are happy with your life right now, why are you on here?

2) If you aren’t desperate or looking for someone to complete you, again, you are on here for what then?

3) Credit score of 800? His butt looks good in jeans and he can look very GQ? Plus he mentions that he is great with kids. All a ploy to start pulling the heartstrings of a very desperate woman.

 

THE PROFILE:

Hey…welcome to my profile. Pretty happy with my life right now. Have a strong network of friends and family and interests to keep me busy…so I’m not here because I’m desperate or lonely looking for someone to “complete me”. I’m also self sufficient and well organized so I’m not looking for a “mother figure” either. I’m just a hard working man who’s butt looks great in jeans and I can look quite GQ when I throw on a three piece. My ability to make people laugh…especially when they needed it the most, has always been my greatest strength. I give a great massage, am a great conversationalist and a really good dancer. I also have a credit score close to 800. 🙂 Not bad, huh? Oh…I can cook, juggle and play the guitar, too. Also great with kids. My nieces and nephews will attest to that. How bout them apples? You will find me to be very “down to earth” and a versatile playmate. Anyway, if you are seeking a man with very little baggage…then your search is over. 🙂

Again, Get yourself off the clearance rack called online dating. Falling in love, JUST HAPPENS. You can’t force yourself to fall.

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

The Online-dating Research Papers (part 1)

I have been researching dating sites all over the internet. Some promote them on Facebook while others promote them on Twitter and Google+.  Even some dating sites have started using Instagram.

As I was doing some hardcore research I saw a young girl, guessing in her 20’s, posing on a motorcycle with the caption:

Send me pics fellas
I might ride you like I do my bike…if you’re man enough to handle me
my number is 1-9*5-2**-3696…don’t keep me waiting

Seriously, this is HOW desperate and dumb this generation has become?

First mistake: Asking for pictures which you know will be sexual

Second mistake: Making a sexual reference

Third mistake: Posting her phone number for the entire world to see.

Online dating sites LOVE these type of people! As someone tweeted me, ” The dating sites love self-destructive people, because they make great customers as they chase away person after person. Dating sites provide a fall back for the attention-starved. Why work it out when there’s another “match” waiting online?”

I’ve been saying that since day one. If you really want love remember, they call it falling in love because you JUST fall. You don’t FORCE yourself to trip.

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

TOP 5 ONLINE-DATING SECRETS

If it seems as if everyone you know is online dating, you’re not alone. According to a study done by Pew Research Center, 11% of American adults—and 38% of those who are currently “single and looking” for a partner—have used online dating sites or mobile dating apps. The general public attitudes towards online dating have become much more positive in recent years, and now with social networking sites playing a prominent role when it comes to navigating and assisting romantic relationships, online dating usage is at an all-time high.

To gain a little insight into what makes people tick when it comes to online dating, here are five secrets to the phenomenon and how to better yourself online.

5. Your Profile Isn’t What It Should Be

A professor of Women’s Health and Clinical Epidemiology at the Queen May University of London School of Medicine and Dentistry, named Khalid Khan, poured through 86 studies to find out why he wasn’t lucky in love and found out that his profile on dating sites was one of the main problems.

Users who chose screen names starting with letters toward the beginning of the alphabet got more clicks than those who used screen names that started with the last part of the alphabet. So, if your name started with the letters, A-M, you have a great shot at being noticed. Now to the profile picture. For women who wore red, they received more attention from men then if they wore any other color. Also, if your profile picture was a group shot with friends, you had a better chance for someone to click on your profile and look through it.

It’s as easy as a click here and a click there to write up a very impressive dating profile. About 95% of what is written are exaggerated and everyone lies about salary, job, living conditions, hobbies, weight, body mass, and some even put a fake picture up, just to get people’s attention.

4. Be Selective 

You are completely wasting your time by posting to every free site then posting your profile on the sites that cost the most money. Think about it, when you post on free site, then the quality of the people you are choosing from are “low quality” people or people who are not putting relationships at a priority in their lives. You therefore are not ending up with a compatible mate. According to Dr. John G. Kappa, PhD whose book, Relationship Strategies: The E&P Attraction, we all have an equal and opposite compatible match. Everyone should be aware of characteristics that we are attracted to and also characteristics that we aren’t attracted too. This is why sometimes we keep picking the completely “wrong” partner.

3. Trust Your Gut

Here is the complete truth: your intuition, your gut will NEVER be wrong. So if someone looks good on paper, but in person you aren’t feeling it, the attraction is not there, and the conversation fizzled out, believe what your gut is telling you: this person is NOT the one. Move on and let it go. So many times we doubt ourselves and we talk ourselves into believing that something is good when it’s far from being good for us. There is someone for everyone, that saying is true, but don’t cut yourself short and lower your standards, values and compatibility just to end up in a relationship.

2. Market Yourself

If you want more dates, the simple thing to remember is that you are your own brand. Yes, even with online dating. Too many people focus on likes and dislikes, and overestimate the value of these. When it comes to sustaining a relationship, your love for hiking or street fairs, isn’t going to matter. Instead, think about the qualities that matter to you and that should matter to your partner. You’re marketing yourself and you show that through highlighting your core characteristics. What will make you a great girlfriend or a great boyfriend? Why should someone date you over someone else? Those are the questions you should really be asking yourself.

 

1. When You Send a Message, Make it Personal

Too many times people respond to messages as if they are going on a job interview or they are just filled with hellos. If you get a lot of messages where the conversation isn’t going anywhere, start with an open-ended question, or mention an interest or two, to get the conversation started. If you are a guy, don’t just tell her that she is beautiful or if you are a woman, don’t just tell him that you are into sports. Also, don’t use messaging to bring up sex. If that is all you are looking for, then online dating isn’t for you.