Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

A Year to Review, Revise and Remember

Life can be funny sometimes. It throws you curve balls, takes you on paths that you’d never think you would take and life always comes full circle.   Each person has their own personal and unique life’s journey and along with it the interesting turns and twists that are unique.

One thing I learned this year is that life happens whether you want it happen or not. Being that I am a social media guru and I am online for about 60 hours a week, I get to see people’s lives evolve .  I also get to see people’s struggles, complaints, life-moments, and everything in between.  And from that I can tell you that life is short, really short.  Every single moment in your life counts.  Every decision you make will have an effect on your life in one way or another.  What people don’t realize is that they have an opportunity to make a difference in the world and in themselves each and every day.  That can be simply by saying hello, holding a door open for someone, supporting a friend, paying for someone’s coffee, etc.

Another thing that most people don’t realize is that we should never stop learning and growing.  Traditions and rules were made to be broken.  The concept of giving of one’s self to another, often is abused.  People take advantage of good-hearted people,  I should know. They aren’t appreciative of the fact that you gave of yourself, they now expect it. People who are more appreciative are those who aren’t expecting your kindness.  Now, I am not saying that we shouldn’t be compassionate, open, and understanding, I am just saying to be wary of those with whom who are open to sharing your exceptional kindness with. … some don’t deserve it.  But that doesn’t mean that you stop respecting them.

That’s another thing I came across this year. Social media has made too many people comfortable with being able to disrespect others without getting punched in the mouth for it.  That then carries over to their “actual” lives and we have become more judgemental, angry, selfish, and greedy.   If you live your life as if everything is about you, you will be left with just that; just you. Relationships aren’t designed for selfish individuals.  But I have learned this year that being angry at people who don’t have the capacity to change is a waste of my energy and my time.

Speaking of relationships, I have learned this past year that some are not worth it, while some are worthwhile.  The most important relationship that you will ever have is the relationship you have with yourself. Going into 2019, the best decision you can ever make, is putting yourself first. If you are still single, capitalize on it. Never settle. Know your worth. You deserve to be happy.  Don’t end up with someone just because you need to be with someone.  Never love when you are lonely. And if you can’t love who you are, how do you expect someone else to love you?

There is no right age to settle down but there is a right time.  There’s a difference. Learn it in 2019.

Follow your own path. Don’t copy someone else’s life, live your own. You weren’t made to be a carbon copy of someone else, you were made to stand out and be an original. Be proud of who you are, how far you have come, and where you are going.  Find people who support your goals,  are happy for your success, and who are there to comfort you when you fail.  Be authentic in real life and online. Stop trying to please others- when you are the one who at the end of the day, lives with the decisions YOU make, not anyone else.

Here’s to 2019! Go for your dreams, seek what makes you satisfied in your life , and make it happen.

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

7 Ways To Score A Date For Christmas (without using online dating!)

According to data analyzed from social media posts, two weeks before Christmas is one of the two most popular times for couples to break up. However, Christmas Day is the least favorite day for breakups. So, if you are on the rebound or looking for love this Christmas, waiting under the mistletoe isn’t going to help.

Here are The Seven Ways to Score Dates at Christmas:

1) Holiday Parties are happening from tonight all the way through the end of the year. Remember, there is definitely a balance when it comes to being flirty. If you are too flirty you can come across as easy or sleazy and nobody wants that.

2) When you decide you are serious about finding someone to share your life with be serious about looking your best. Looking good makes you feel good, and when you feel good, you carry yourself with a positive glow

3) It’s no secret that if you keep going to the same places you won’t meet anyone different.

During the Christmas period there are a lot of people out and about. This time of year, I would say you have a good chance of meeting people you never would have met because there are more people out and about for work Christmas parties and end of year drinks at many bars, restaurants, malls, gaming facilities ( Like bowling alleys, go-carts places, arcades like Dave and Busters, etc)

4) Watch your alcohol intake at this time of the year. We’re all partial to one too many mulled wines over the Christmas period, but if you’re looking to find someone special before you have to kiss at midnight, it’s important to stay in control and confident. No one is attracted to a slurring mess.

5) Be open to new people. Don’t worry about age, race, size, money, and all that stuff that SHOULD NOT matter. It’s such an important thing when looking for love because the best partners are the ones you wouldn’t have normally chosen, which is why you might still be single.  In other words, keep an open mind.

6) With that said though, DON’T flock over to online dating sites just out of pure desperation! Instead of finding love, you will indeed find a nightmare in the making!

7) There’s nothing worse than someone who uses the phrase “bah humbug” over the Christmas season or has a negative attitude about their life or life in general. Life is not going to be a beach every day, there are going to be ups and downs no matter what time of year it is. Go into finding love with a positive attitude on life and you will attract someone who is worth it.

Remember, if you are still single at Christmas, it’s OKAY. Besides, 2019, is right around the corner!

We all don’t need to be in a relationship at the holiday time, even though society may tell us as well as the holiday movies, that we need to be “in love” at this time.

It’s always better to be single then to be in a relationship that doesn’t suit us; holiday time or any time.

May the Christmas season fill your home with family and friends, your heart with love & your life with laughter.

Merry Christmas to all my readers.

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

An Open Letter To All Men Everywhere

Dear Men,

 

It seems that the guys who play in the NFL, once again proof just how dumb you guys can be when it comes to picking women.   But before I go ahead and rant on that, let me let every single guy, including every single athlete know something: Cameras are everywhere!  If you are going to make a decision that in the end, gets you into trouble either with the law, your job, your wife, your girlfriend, etc, just know that someone already has it on camera.  Technology has developed cell phones with awesome cameras. It also has developed awesome surveillance systems in hotels, malls, bars, clubs, stores, and just about everywhere, where you can go and be seen.

Now onto talking about women.  Stop letting your penis make your decisions when it comes to women. There’s such a thing as listening to your gut, or your intuition.  That’s why these dating apps are destroying people, because when you meet people via dating apps, you go by what they are saying about themselves and, most people lie in their dating profiles. Secondly, just because a woman “looks” hot doesn’t mean she has good intentions and a beautiful soul.  Stop judging women by their looks. It can be said to women who do the same thing when it comes to men, but women choose a man differently than a man, chooses a woman. Women are more prone to give a guy who isn’t “hot” a chance, because he has better features than just his looks. Whereas a man, goes straight for the hot chick just to impress his friends, or make people jealous, or because he thinks she will be his arm candy, and they will standout.

Thirdly, Keep your hands to yourself – pushing, kicking, slapping a woman is unacceptable. Now, women need to be called out on this as well, because it’s not right to go ahead and smack a man for ANY reason UNLESS he hit you first and it’s self-defense. In the movies you see women throwing shoes, purses, and even throwing water in a man’s face after she finds out he’s cheating or doing something that gets him into trouble. That’s also unacceptable.

No means no.  Let me repeat that for all the men out there: No means No.  If she doesn’t want to sleep with you, doesn’t want to hook up, doesn’t want to hook up with your friends, doesn’t want to do anything, no means no.  How ever the rest goes down, even if she calls you the worst name in the book, you stay the bigger person and WALK AWAY! Don’t let your emotions get the best of you.

This is for all the athletes: STOP getting involved with women you meet at clubs or parties. NOTHING good can come from it.  Also stop getting involved with groupies that hang out in the SAME hotel as you!  Trust me when I say that women who do this, do this for a reason- they know that you got fame, money, power, whatever else, and that is the ONLY reason they are there!  Again, she could be “hot” but don’t let your penis make that decision to have her go up to your hotel room.  Next thing you know, you fall asleep and she posted pictures of you together all over social media!  Also, if she gets pregnant, you are now going to be paying her child support for the next 18 years!

THINK before you act.

Go for a woman who doesn’t care what you do for a living and treats you like she would treat any guy she would meet. Go for a woman who supports your ups and your downs.

Sparks are great. But investigate. Be attracted to her mentally, emotionally not just physically.  Go for a woman who can be excited about your success and goals in life is someone who won’t hold you back for one reason or another.  If she wants to change you in any way, and they she is not accepting you for who you are, that is a sign of a controlling person and she will never treat you properly.  Finally, pick a woman who can  bring out the best in you and who can maintain her own identity.   Those are the women who you should choose, and if you notice I never said anything about looks or sex.

Stop letting your penis make the decisions for you. Use your heart and your mind to help you pick the best partner for you- not just a one night stand or a “maybe” girlfriend. But  a person who you see yourself with forever.

 

 

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

20 Signs That You’re In The Right Relationship

You Are In The Right Relationship If…

20) You spend time together doing things you both enjoy

19) You spend time apart doing things you each enjoy

18) When you fight, you fight with a purpose, not just to fight

17) You each have your own friends

16) You maintain your own identity

15) Your family and even your friends like seeing you as a couple

14) The respect you have for each other is mutual

13) You bring out the best in each other

12) You both share future goals

11) You are attracted to your partner mentally, emotionally and physically.

10) You keep each other’s secrets

9) You make a great team and people comment on that.

8) You are sexually compatible

7) You enjoy even doing boring tasks together

6) You both share the same financial goals

5) You both feel that you can be open about your feelings without being judged

4) You give each other the right amount of love and the right amount of space

3) You trust each other- you are always honest with each other

2)You are there for your partner’s successes but also their failures

1) You have accepted each other’s pasts and flaws

Always, always, always, go with your gut! Your intuition will never let you down when it comes to emotions and feelings. With the right partner, you will find fulfillment, peace, and love. A person who can be excited about your success and goals in life is someone who won’t hold you back for one reason or another. Most unhealthy relationships include some form of sabotaging of one partner. If your partner wants to change you in any way, and they aren’t accepting you for who you are, that is a sign of a controlling person and they will never treat you properly. In other words, RUN! Another good sign that someone is right for you is if that person can fit in to other parts of your life and you’re not just living the “relationship bubble.” Your friends and family get along with this person, they have met this person and your relationship is NOT a secret! Secret romances NEVER turn out good- ever!

Finally, every good relationship has boundaries. Boundaries are important because it means someone isn’t a pushover, and they can communicate when they are unhappy. Growth is very important in relationships, particularly in the same direction, so you need to be able to have arguments, and conflicts and points of disagreements without wanting to kill each other.

*** The follow up to Hello Love, Where’s Cupid?, “Ax The Ex,” will be coming in 2019.***

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

Double Standards In Dating

Double Standards.

When it comes to dating there are tons of them. I will cut through the proverbial crap, and just get down to the nitty gritty. Here are four double standards that are not so obvious:

1- When a relationship breaks up men are seen as jerks, women are seen as victims.

2- Men will cheat, women have control.

3- When a man asks a question, he is concerned about his woman. If a woman does, she’s considering to be nagging.

4- Women are always seen as victims when it comes to domestic disputes and men are always seen as the attackers.

The one double standard that is the obvious one is that older men can date younger women with no problem, whereas, older women who date younger men are seen as “rocking the cradle,” and are also called “Cougars.”

I did a study on Twitter recently and 84% of people surveyed said that a woman should be able to date a younger man. And a woman should be able to do so without having judgement passed.  We need to stop this double standard stuff when it comes to dating and just remember one thing: Dating is supposed to be fun, its supposed to lead people together so they can form relationships. And if that means a girl dates a younger guy, so be it. Who are we to judge women and their relationships?

Older women look more appealing to younger guys for a variety of reasons. There is the fact that older women will not play love games and know exactly what they want. Some of them may not want the family, and all that goes with the picket fence, but as a woman’s biological clock ticks even louder, that idea may change. Younger men often find older women more interesting, experimental, fun to talk to, financially settled, and more adept sexually. As one guy in his twenties told me, “I guess it could be nice to not hang around a ditz with no knowledge of life, music, or something like that.”

Age doesn’t always determine maturity. There are men in their twenties that can give any man in their forties a run for his money. Maturity has nothing to do with age but it is the actions & behaviors that you display during adverse situations that do.

A twenty-eight year old guy told me flat out what attracts him to older women: “The experiences in life they’ve had make them more grounded and realistic. I have a preference for women starting at about ten years older than myself and up. It’s adventurous for both of us, because it is a wild and new exciting journey. Younger women just don’t let me grow in the ways older women do.” He added, “You have 30, 40, and 50 year old women today who look like they are 25, and you can’t even tell the difference!”

So what does a woman have to do in order to date a younger man? Are the rules different? And what are advantages for a young guy to date an older woman?

In order to date a younger man, a woman must first attract a younger man into her life. How does that happen? The answer is simple. Be open to the possibility. You don’t have to change how you dress. You don’t have to scout the college bars. Just live your life, and watch what happens. Trust me on this one.

The younger person gets an experienced partner who is often better established in the world. The “senior partner” may also have more money, perhaps, even, a more interesting life. The older person, for her part, gets a higher-energy partner who is likely to help the couple stay fit, quite likely, more sexually active.

Younger men come from a different generation. Therefore, they perceive the world differently than their older counterparts. They grew up with working moms. They respect and admire powerful women. Whereas older men have been taught to see women as accessories to their lives, younger guys see women as equals. (Not all younger guys, but 95% of them) Since younger men accept female empowerment as the norm, that principle transfers into equal partnership. Chances are he’ll be more adventurous than you’re used to. He may challenge your ideals. He’s apt to push you to open your thinking to a new perspective.

What attracts a younger man to an older women, is the lack of games. So, if your default is to pullout the known “this-always-works trick,” forget it. He lacks the polish his older counterparts possess in countering your moves. You’ll be forced to be real. Honesty is the best communication policy here. And, that’s a very good thing. Who really has time to play games anyway? This is the part where older guys can learn a thing or two from the younger guys. No woman wants to play games and no woman has time to play games.

A older woman will also force him to grow up and act more mature. As the older woman you will open the door to a new vision of life for him. You will have experienced things that he may not have yet had the chance to or you may have great advice to offer him for decisions he will have to make. But be prepared because he may have a completely different world view. You will be forced to see things differently, and learn new things. But I find that is more positive than negative. By the way, we always hear that older men are better in bed. Personally, I think it’s just a rumor… started by older men. They may have been with more partners, but being with more partners doesn’t mean that you are “better” than your young counterparts. And younger guys may be more willing to try new things than to just go through the motions as older guys tend to do. 

 

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

20 Of The Worst Pick-Up Lines Of All Time

Pick–up lines are hard: At worst, they can be mortifying, offensive and creepy; at best, pity-inducing. Yet men still persist in using them for whatever reason. Unless you really know what you’re doing, don’t try to use any of these corny and really stupid, pickup lines.

20 –That dress would look great on the floor next to my bed.

This line is most used when a guy is looking for a booty call.

19- Save water. Shower with me.

Again, another line guys use for a booty call.

18- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?

This line was actually used in a cell phone commercial which makes it even worse when guys actually use it on the ladies.

17- Are your legs tired because you’ve been running through my mind all night.

Legs. The third body part that guys talk about and focus on when they see a lady that interests them pass by. But if we are going to talk about the pick-up line, this just again focuses on trying to get the booty call without thinking that is how you sound when you use this.

16- I’m trying to rearrange the alphabet so that U and I are together.

This has to be one of the corniest pick-up lines ever!

15- Excuse me, I think you have something in your eye. Nope, it’s just a sparkle.

This line may even make a woman smile, but a smart woman knows what the guy is trying to achieve when this comes out of his mouth.

14- Hey, I lost my phone number … Can I have yours?

This line just shows that guys don’t even hear how dumb they sound when they open their mouths.

13- I lost my teddy bear, can I cuddle with you?

This is a warning that you are near a creepy stalker. Don’t look at him or answer him, just get up and run… and keep running!

12- Kiss me if I’m wrong but dinosaurs still exist right?

Ugh. Another lame line guys used to get any action they can! Seriously the next guy I hear use this needs to get slapped… across the head. You can say that you saw a mosquito.

11- Well, here I am. What were your other two wishes?

Can a guy who uses this line be any more obnoxious? I would sarcastically answer, well, my other two wishes are that you go away.

10- Did you have lucky charms for breakfast? Because you look magically delicious!

I don’t know why a guy thinks this is a cute and innocent way of flirting with a girl, because it is not. It’s far from being cute and it’s far from being innocent. When a girl says that she is magically delicious, she’s being cute and flirty. But when a guy says it, he just wants to score.

9- So do you believe in love at first sight, or do you want me to walk by again?

Most women still want to believe in love at first sight, but most women aren’t that stupid to believe in a corny line like this.

8- I just noticed you looking at me across the room. I’ll give you a minute to catch your breath!

48% of men actually rely on pickup lines regularly. And this is one of the worst lines that come out of their mouths!

7- I’m gonna have to put you on my “To Do” List!

There’s a fine line between confidence and arrogance. And the majority of women cite being overly cocky as their number one turnoff. Use this line and watch her walk away.

6- If I said you have a gorgeous body, would you hold it against me?

It’s 1 A.M., you are at a bar and a drunk guy walks up to you. Chances are that he will spew an insulting line like this one.

5- I was trying to have a guys’ night out and you just totally ruined it by being so cute.

For men, there’s a fear of rejection or looking stupid. Well, if they use this line they have achieved both!

4- Can I get a picture of you so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?

This line only works for women. And a recent survey suggests that 95% of guys claim that they like a woman to make the first move.

3- What do you like for breakfast?

Guys think this is cute. I think it’s a booty call. Period.

2 –So, how many kids do you want?

I understand that guys are trying to be creative, instead of flat out just trying to have a normal conversation, but to come out with this line indicates that that guy doesn’t even care about who the woman is, but rather more focused on what she looks like.

1- You don’t need a bodyguard. You need a bootyguard.
The Number rule of trying to get a woman’s phone number: Don’t reference a woman’s booty the first time meeting her especially using a “joke” like this. You may think it’s funny, creative, and complementary. But she may think otherwise.

You don’t have to be a wiseguy to make yourself instantly irresistible. Instead confidence gets the girl. Just be yourself and start a conversation. The first two minutes of any conversation is the indication that you might have something or you’re wasting your time. Once you get her taking, don’t hand a girl your business card. You don’t want an interview, you want a date. And if you use Facebook as a verb, you’ve already lost. If she does give you her phone number, do the unthinkable and call. Don’t text, call. Then you have struck gold.

 

 

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

3 Ways to Ax The Ex in less than 24 hours

2018 is upon us and the most important cleanse we can’t buy in any stores is the toxic relationships cleanse.  To start the new year off on the right foot, and perform a relationship detox, here are 3 ways to do just that.

Race to Erase Toxic Relationships ( Boyfriends, Girlfriends, Friends, Lovers, Co-Workers, etc)

Step 1: Block and Delete EVERY ex-boyfriend, ex-girlfriend, friend, family member, lover or anyone that brings negativity to your life on social media.

There is NO reason to watch them on social media. Splitting up is tough enough without having to figure out what their social media posts mean.  Even if you haven’t seen this person in years, you still should not be online creeping or watching their every move online. And of course,  the other unhealthy reason to delete and block – deliberately dropping selfies to show them what they’re missing out on. Trust me, if they really wanted to be with you, they would be. NO selfie is going to make them want to stay.

Step 2: Affirm your worth.

Toxic emotions lead to toxic relationships. How you feel about yourself and your self perception, is key to lasting relationships.

Condition your mind to accept nothing less than respect and gratitude from others. Every morning remind yourself of the following: I am worthy. I am valuable. I am capable. I am proud of me.

 

Step 3: Get into a new routine.

What ever your routine is, change it up.  Change is good, it’s also hard. Change is hard because you brain is wired to do the same thing over and over. When you get out of your comfort zone, you tend to find things you never thought you would find. That includes finding love in places you never thought were possible.  Change helps you grow, and if you are not growing, you are not living. If you’re open to learning new ways of approaching problems, you may find you learn something new about yourself, about others, and about the world.  Finally, change lets you keep your mind active and doesn’t stay put in a negative zone. 

Embracing change takes some practice. Getting rid of people in your life that cause you to be stressed, negative or constantly hurt, will make your life more fulfilling.  Life is short.  Instead of looking back, look forward. And with a relationship detox you will be on your way to living a better life.  Happy New Year!

 

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

7 Ways To Score Dates For Christmas

According to data analyzed from Facebook posts, two weeks before Christmas is one of the two most popular times for couples to break up. However, Christmas Day is the least favorite day for breakups. So, if you are on the rebound or looking for love this Christmas, waiting under the mistletoe isn’t going to help.

Here are The Seven Ways to Score Dates at Christmas:

1) Holiday Parties are happening from tonight all the way thru the end of the year. Remember, there is definitely a balance when it comes to being flirty, if you are too flirty you can come across as easy or sleazy and nobody wants that.

2) When you decide you are serious about finding someone to share your life with be serious about looking your best. Looking good makes you feel good, and when you feel good, you carry yourself with a positive glow

3) It’s no secret that if you keep going to the same places you won’t meet anyone different.

During the Christmas period there are a lot of people out and about. This time of year, I would say you have a good chance of meeting genuine people in bars because there are more people out and about for work Christmas parties and end of year drinks.

 

4) Watch your alcohol intake at this time of the year. We’re all partial to one too many mulled wines over the Christmas period, but if you’re looking to find someone special before you have to kiss at midnight, it’s important to stay in control and confident. No one is attracted to a slurring mess.

5) Be open to new people. Don’t worry about age, race, size, money, and all that stuff that SHOULD NOT matter. It’s such an important thing when looking for love because sometimes (and usually) the best partners are the ones you wouldn’t have normally chosen, which is why you might still be single.

6) With that said though, DON’T flock over to online dating sites just out of pure desperation! Instead of finding love, you will indeed find a nightmare in the making!

7) There’s nothing worse than someone who uses the phrase “bah humbug” over the Christmas season or has a negative attitude about their life or life in general. Life is not going to be a beach every day, there are going to be ups and downs no matter what time of year it is. Go into finding love with a positive attitude on life and you will attract someone who is worth it.

Remember, if you are still single at Christmas, it’s OKAY. Besides, 2018, is right around the corner!

We all don’t need to be in a relationship at the holiday time, even though society may tell us as well as the holiday movies, that we need to be “in love” at this time.

It’s always better to be single then to be in a relationship that doesn’t suit us; holiday time or any time.

May the Christmas season fill your home with family and friends, your heart with love & your life with laughter.

Merry Christmas to all my readers.

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

Jealousy and the Ex

If you ever have joined the, “I love knowing that my mans ex hates me” club, then you know where I am going with this. There are many single women who date men who have been separated or divorced. Some women even date those men while they are going through the process of divorce and some of those men have children.

This is when sometimes things can get dicey. Things may start off as quiet and as calm as can be, until one day jealousy rears her ugly head. The soon-to-be- ex-wife has become jealous and a little upset that he has moved on and before her,* gasp* like it’s some competition.

It’s sad when a mom loves child support more than her children; what makes it worse is when she tries to keep the child away from a loving father who wants them, and use that manipulation to get him to stop the developing relationship with the new woman! She now as become obsessed and has begun feeling possessive towards the same man with whom she is legally separated from. What is worse that this is the fact that she will start to play, “the victim” to gain support and make him out to be the “bad guy” when in fact he did nothing wrong at all.
Guilt. This is now used to reel him back in because like I mentioned earlier, she is using the children as bait to keep him away from whomever he wants to be with. Some may say that she is “protecting” the children, but I say that if she wanted to really protect her children she wouldn’t be using them in her sick game.

Did you know the people who exhibit the most kindness are the first to get mistreated? This is true with anyone who cares deeply about someone and this rings true for all the men out there who are great dads and are going through the divorce process today. My advice to all of you guys out there is to never settle too quickly, don’t be cheap where you don’t get a lawyer and try to handle all of it on your own. Simply because you don’t know all the nooks and crannies of the legal system, there are ways of getting what you want and deserve in a divorce, and just giving her, “What she wants” sends the wrong message.

To those single women who are dating a man who is going through this crap, here’s my advice:

I have learned now that while those who speak about one’s miseries usually hurt, those who keep silent hurt more. As much as you can help, support and care for someone, it’s up to them to make the first move. Feeling helpless isn’t a great feeling, but the only thing you can do is tell him that you still care, tell him that you are here for him and hope to God he gets the courage to reach out.

To the guys who are stuck in this situation:

Men have this stupid idea that they can handle everything on their own but, you can’t take care of anyone else, until you take care of yourself. Let the woman with whom you are dating be there for you. Don’t let your Ex win. Legally she can’t take your kids away from you because you are dating someone else. The legal system doesn’t work that way. Since kids are involved, these exes often feel it’s their right to meddle in your relationships, no matter what. Maybe you should set up a meeting with your ex and your new partner, depending on how serious the relationship is, and iron out whatever feelings and problems have risen.

Remember, you have every right to be happy. And that sets an example to your kids.

And finally, to the all the soon-to-be Ex wives everywhere: Just because you aren’t called on your BS doesn’t mean people don’t know you’re full of it. If you’re so happy with your life why are you so worried about your ex-husband’s new love? Think of your kids and how your jealousy is affecting them. Everyone has the right and deserves to be happy. One day it’s going to be you, dating someone new. What goes around comes around, all I can say is, remember that.

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

Dating After Divorce: What to do and what not to do

These days, it’s not uncommon to hear that someone is going through a divorce. In 2016, The median length for a marriage in the US is 8 years with 90% of all divorces being settled out of court.60 percent of second marriages end in divorce and 73 percent of all third marriages end in divorce.

Currently, the divorce rate per 1000 married women is 16.9. Many experts feel that this is a much more accurate measure of true divorce rate than the crude rate. The divorce rate per 1000 married women is nearly double that of 1960, but down from the all time high of 22.6 in the early 1980s. Here are some more interesting facts on divorce:

Every 13 seconds, there is one divorce in America. That equates to 277 divorces per hour, 6,646 divorces per day, 46,523 divorces per week, and 2,419,196 divorces per year. That means there are 9 divorces in the time it takes for a couple to recite their wedding vows (2 minutes.) More than 554 divorces occur during your typical romantic comedy movie (2 hours) And 1,385 divorces happen during the average wedding reception (5 hours).

So, if you are divorced and reading this, now what?

You might be hearing from friends and family, “You need to get out there.” But what you’re probably feeling is either, “I don’t think I’m ready,” or “How do I even begin to start dating again?” Since I’ve seen so many friends go through it, I’m a big believer in, what I like to call, “The Take 2 System.”

The Take 2 System is quite simple:

The first step is to realize that you should wait about a year before seriously dating anyone. Yes, that is a long time, but when you end a relationship, a marriage, the healing process takes time. If you are still in love with your ex, you will probably compare everyone you date to him or her. Rebound love always turns out to be a disaster. Take time to learn to love yourself and enjoy the small moments of everyday life.

The second step is to think about what you want, what you don’t want, and identified the deal-breakers.

After that, the next step is to be open-minded to the possibility of finding someone new. This is how you know you are ready. It’s also best to become friends with someone first, not just jump head first into dating someone with all the “fringe” benefits. By that I mean, having sex. Sex is part of dating, but if you are seriously looking for a relationship then you might want to pass on sex for at least six months while trying to get to know someone for who they truly are, and not for what they “claim” to be. Don’t date anyone that you aren’t comfortable with and don’t date someone that is “forced” on you because your friends and family think they found the “perfect” relationship for you.

There’s a difference between who we love, who we settle with, and who we’re meant for.