(Photos Courtesy of Click Images Inc. )
What comes to mind when I think about building an empire? First and foremost, hard freaking work! Being a #girlboss has it’s ups and downs. Seeing so many young girls thinking that it’s “so easy” to build a brand, build presence, and build your company, always makes me laugh and roll my eyes.
I started SassyGirlPR in 2008. At first it wasn’t SassyGirlPR it was just me, Stephanie being a freelancer. I wrote for many blogs, many websites, and even did some ghost writing for celebrities and others. Then of course I started to write my own stuff and have a voice. My goal when I write, is not to have others know MY opinion, but to THINK about the other side of the story. Then of course I wrote my first book, “A Bird’s Eye View” which was a nonfiction book and talked about many topics. Once I got my feet wet, I guess you can say the rest is history! I got offered to write for many other sites, one being Blogher. Not only did I write for Blogher and have one of my pieces go viral,
“This Woman Does Not Support The Women’s March” but I was a third-party consultant for them and this is where I got my start with #SocialMediaMarketing –
I did campaigns for JcPenney, American Idol, AT&T, just to name a few. And I instantly fell in love with the concept and the idea.
Now I started to learn and teach myself all about social media and how to use it to market businesses, books, blogs, etc. And I have to say, I had very good success at it – I mean, my books and blogs were being read in other countries and it was just amazing on how I connected with so many people. This by the way, is the purpose of social media: to connect with others on a positive note, not like it is used today to spread hate and misinformation.
In the meantime while all this was going on, I was teaching Preschool, Pre-K and writing toddler programs for schools. I presented at the NAEYC in 2000 and loved teaching the little ones. We’ll get into this at another time, but I built my business Sassy Productions Inc, as a side job, and let me tell you, I tried to incorporate a lot of other businesses, but those failed. Those failures are what helped me grow, helped me understand business, and helped me become who I am today. I learned so much from the failed business attempts that is why I took eight years of building SassyGirlPR – now known as Sassy Productions. I wanted it to work. I wanted to be my own boss and play by my own rules.
Timing is everything in life, as is having patience. Life is process for that matter. We learn as we progress. So today, I not only run a social media marketing company, handle PR relations as well, write blogs, write books, and help other businesses, I did it all on my own terms.
2016 I became an Auntie. That was the perfect time to step away from teaching and focus on myself and my nephew. And things have just taken off from there.
So you see, life doesn’t always work out the way you think it will. There will be turns, stops, obstacles, at every corner, but with patience, perseverance and never stopping enthusiasm, you can start to build your own empire- one piece at a time.
Find The Diary of A Social Gal Parts 2 and 3 here:( Friday and Saturday)
When I check social media every day, it’s amazing how these 20 -something girls think that are such “hot stuff.” I really don’t make that much about it until they start messing with me – then I have to put them in their place. First off, this whole thing that women are “supposed” to support other women “just because” we’re women is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard of- you don’t see men supporting other men “Just because” you see men competing against other men and rightfully so.
So what does a 40 year old woman have that a 20 year old girl doesn’t? Well for starters, experience thank you.
1- Girls in their twenties don’t know how to fully love themselves- every inch of their bodies. I would have avoided many of the decisions that I made in my life if I truly just accepted who I was when I was twenty. Most girls want that “perfect” body. There is NO such thing as to having the perfect body, no matter what Victoria’s Secret or Vogue may tell you. You should embrace who you are inside and out.
2- Girls in their twenties are far from being authentic. It’s all about fitting in, instead of standing out. Stop comparing your life to someone’s else life you see on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter… etc. Be real. Be you. You are worth it – just like everyone else you see. Don’t let what others are doing online, bring you down or your self-worth. No one gets to tell you what your value is- You know your worth when you stop giving discounts.
3- Sex. Sorry girls, but forty year old women have been “around the block” so to say. First all of, older women don’t just “hook up” with guys like girls in their twenties who are hooking up left and right these days. When we do “hook up” we do that because we feel close to the guy we are with. 40 year old women can completely let them self go physically- we don’t care about anything else and are more prone to trying new things since we are already secure with our bodies and not insecure like 20 year old girls are. We also know what we like, how to orgasm, and how to satisfy our partners, where as a twenty year old has no clue. ( https://amzn.to/2I6xN8c) – Chapter 13 FYI
4- Learn to live in the moment. If you master this when you are young, you will appreciate life much more through every single stage of it. Also, It’s not your job to make everyone else happy. And even if you do so, that doesn’t mean you’ll be happy. Life is short. Women in their forties know this. We don’t give a flying F- if you aren’t happy with our choices. We do what we know is going to make us happy- not others.
5-Life is not like football. Stop trying to “score points” with every opportunity. To win in life is to overcome every obstacle that life throws at you. No one dies counting how many “touchdowns” they scored and compares that to someone else’s “score total” – In the end that doesn’t matter.
6- Life is not like baseball. Don’t give people 3 times to hurt you, they lie to you once, that should be it. They are showing you who they are, and that is a person who doesn’t respect you enough to tell you the truth. Twenty-somethings give people way too many chances.
7- You don’t DESERVE things you EARN things. Stop thinking that everyone “owes” you something! Excuse me girl, but no one owes you a damn thing! You want that guy- go get him. You want that job- work for it. You want that car- buy it…. And so forth. Skip half the parties you go to, if you work, at something, you will become better at it.
8- Stick to the original plan. Don’t let anyone talk you out of it. What ever you choose to be; be. Just because someone else has an “idea” of what you should do with your life, doesn’t mean you have to follow “their” plan. It’s your life, so live it and to the best of your ability. Stop blaming everyone else for your problems and giving excuses as to why you can’t do something or why something didn’t work out. Stop asking for permission. Forty year old women KNOW this.
9- Twenty year old girls don’t know how to have an ACTUAL conversation! Put down your damn phone! Forty year old women have such better social skills than you simply because we weren’t born with cell phones, social media and that has taken the skill of communication to an entire new level. Learn how to talk to others in person. Get off dating apps, social media apps, and get into the real world and start talking to others. Not only are you going to find out more about others, you will also find out more about yourself. And in the business world, you are going to have to talk to others face to face. A screen isn’t going to do.
10- Finally, alcohol is like cancer for your body. Twenty-somethings always feel the need to “get drunk” or “get high” at parties, when things are tough, etc. Forty year old women know that if we need to get high – we get high on life. Yes, we have an occasional drink from time to time, but we don’t rely on alcohol, basically because we don’t have time to stay in bed with a hangover or frankly want one. (Let the beer vs wine debate begin)
Age will happen whether you’re afraid of it or not, so get living! I don’t believe in age, I believe in energy. Stop telling older women that they are “too old” – remember, one day, the roles will reverse. Karma has a way of sneaking up on you.
So, back when I was 24 years old, I dated this guy who was a Calvin Klein model off and on for about a year. At first I thought it was pretty neat. But as the year went on I knew that I made a huge mistake. Oh yeah, sure he was what we would call, “hot,” but I learned very quickly that looks on the outside are not a mirror to how someone is on the inside. That’s why every time I see guys on the internet or hear how much athletes want to date models, I cringe. (Then I roll my eyes)
Our society STILL focuses way too much on a person’s outside rather than on a person’s inner beauty. Inner beauty, especially to me, is the most important thing I look for in a guy. Yes, that physical spark is needed, but looks are so overrated.
That Calvin Klein model may have been “arm candy” but inside he was colder than ice. (Is that even possible?) He cared about money, cars, materialistic stuff and but he didn’t care about how I felt, what I wanted, he had zero compassion about others, and I was so worried that he wouldn’t “love me” based on who I was, that I had to pretend I was someone I wasn’t. I can also point out that the other models were just as narcissistic, selfish, greedy, and flat out rude as he was.
It was from this that I learned never to base dating a guy on how he looked but rather than to base it on how he treated me and how he also treated others. A person’s personality, their compassion for others, and how they aren’t afraid to be themselves as well as not making me feel as if I can’t be myself, are the ways I now measure men. Of course, I would be lying if I didn’t say that sparks that are driven from physical looks are necessary, but it’s not how I make a decision anymore.
It’s also important to note that I want to date a man who accept me for who I am, support my dreams as I support his, and build me up to be a better person each and every day. I just don’t want to date simply to date. Another reason why so many relationships fail is because so many people do this; they date to just date instead of dating for a relationship.
Closing, we need to stop judging others based on the outer shell of a person. The saying, “Don’t judge a book by it’s cover,” is so true. Why be so shallow? Dating is challenging to begin with, adding extra pressure to yourself and another person is stupid. Beauty can be intoxicating, but it’s also very misleading. And in this Instagram world with so many damn filters, why are we so obsessed with fake and not being real?
Yes, outer attraction matters but in today’s crazy world it shouldn’t matter that much. Don’t get caught up in the Instagram perfection of physical beauty that will quickly fade back once the filters are gone. If you lead with your soul, you’re more likely to find yourself in a committed, lasting relationship.
There’s a lot of new terms that have been popping up on social media lately. So let’s learn what they are and what they mean:
1- Submarining
There’s more to modern-day dating terms than just ghosting and catfishing. Here is some new and unique millennial dating lingo that people are using to describe their dating situations that you should know.
2- Breadcrumbing
Breadcrumbing is when someone leaves proverbial breadcrumbs for someone through actions like texts or Instagram likes. It gives just enough attention to keep someone interested without having to commit fully.
3- Benching
Athletes aren’t the only ones who can be benched — this term essentially means someone that you are interested in is keeping you in their dating rotation, while they continue to play the field. They know they can keep coming back to you, but don’t have any interest in committing 100%.
4- Kittenfishing
Many of us are familiar with catfishing, where a person physically poses as an entirely different individual online than they are in reality. People who kittenfish will post photos of themselves on their profile, but usually have heavy editing, are several years old, or they may lie about things such as their height or job.
These terms you will mostly see the younger generation use, but for the most part the ideas in each aren’t new. Don’t fall for phrases that are made up online- as there are plenty such as, hopscotching, glazing, shareholding and bleating.
My advice? Don’t get hooked on stupid terms. Don’t get in to a relationship just because everyone else is and don’t get into a relationship just please others.
The #goal is not to GET into a relationship but the goal is to BE in a relationship. When you love and accept yourself finding a partner that appreciates you won’t be hard. You won’t stand for anything else.
Men always say they can’t find a good woman, but when they do, they don’t know what to do with her.
I can say this from personal experience and also from the numerous stories women have told me about their dating experiences.
For starters, why guys think it’s okay to date two women at the same time, without each of them knowing about the other one, I will never understand! Um, guys, I hate to burst your bubble on this but, we ALWAYS find the truth out. Never doubt a woman will find out because we do better work than the FBI.
Which takes me to the fact that I have had to deal with guys pretending to be women online so they can spy on how I am doing. Yes, that sounds so pathetic, doesn’t it? But it has happened to me more than once! Guys that I have dated or guys that I have been interested in, have turned to “the dark side,” just to see if I still care for them or who I am with, by either pretending to be a woman or getting a woman they know to befriend me on social media. So here’s a tip for all your ladies out there: If a “woman” befriends you on social media out of the blue based on something you have posted and the conversation gets really personal by them initiating it, then somehow during the conversation they tell you, “… but don’t mention my name,” or “Don’t tell them I said it,” then you know there’s something up with that. When the person who initiates the conversation is now being secretive, you know that “woman” is really either A) a friend of the guy, or B) the guy pretending to be a woman. And I laugh, because guys can’t even talk like women do, which is a dead giveaway. Guys talk the same online as they do in person. They aren’t that good of an actor. What do I do when this happens? I just play along until I have had enough. They want a game, you might as well as give them one.
But do guys know what women really want? Here are a few things:
1- Every woman just wants to know that no matter the circumstances, she is worth it to you.
2- Sorry isn’t a verb. Don’t expect it to do things for you. Don’t say it unless you mean it. And if you meant it, be ready to prove it.
3- Men need to stop calling other women beautiful, if they can’t even tell their own woman that she’s beautiful.
4– Ignore us, it’s cool. But when we move on don’t say crap.
5- Don’t ever leave something good to find something better, cause once you realize you had the best, the best has found better. Remember, if you leave her without a reason, don’t ever come back with an excuse.
But here’s something that men and women both need to remember when it comes to relationships:
1- If you carry the bricks from your past relationship(s) to the new one you will build the same house.
2- Someone who truly loves you will be angry at you for so many things, but will always stick around.
Sometimes you need to just forget logic and reasoning and just follow your emotions and feelings. Sure its scary but remember, all the fun rides usually are.
Facebook is in it for love and they want you in it with them. So how does it work?
Dating is now integrated with Facebook groups and events. If people in a group you’re in have created Dating profiles or if they’re planning to attend the same Facebook events, they might show up in your matches. Facebook Dating is free and contains no ads or in-app purchases. Your Facebook Dating profile will be separate from your main one, but it will tap existing features such as events and groups, as well as your network of friends to identify “secret crushes.” ( Which is a bad, bad idea!)
Facebook Dating won’t suggest your friends as people you might want to date. Your dating profile also won’t show up on your news feed or be visible to friends; it’s only for others using the dating service. Facebook insists it won’t use information gleaned from your dating profiles for advertising and says there won’t be ads on Facebook Dating. ( Can we really trust this?)
To prevent unwanted messages, photos and spam, Facebook Dating lets you message someone just once unless you get a response. Facebook also won’t allow lonely hearts – or creeps – to send photos or website links, which could help cut down on unsolicited body-part photos.
There were initially rumblings that the dating feature might be open only to people who list themselves as “single” and not those who are “married” or “in a relationship.” But Facebook has said this is not the case. After all, people often don’t keep their relationship status up to date or don’t use it in a serious way.
Facebook is telling users to keep your identity private which includes your last name and your actual profile you have on Facebook. They also are warning people that folks may misrepresent themselves and their intentions in their dating profile and this could lead to harassment or harm if you decide to meet them in person.
This is just another bad option for dating. People don’t trust Facebook when it comes to privacy, but they are going to trust Facebook looking for love? And why not found out the last name of someone that you meet online? How are you going to be able to keep yourself safe if you don’t know who you are dealing with?
When are people going to LEARN that EVERY dating site is a cesspool filled with criminals, pedophiles, and scammers. If you really want a relationship step away from your devices and into the real world . Using dating sites doesn’t allow you to use your intuition and folks are going based on the profile that someone wrote up- which is filled with lies!
Facebook is just in this for the money- they don’t care about you “finding love” – stop believing that fairy-tale that love is on these sites. The only thing you are mostly to find are STDs and hookups.
If you have been on Facebook lately, you may have come across an article that claims that if you eat chocolate cake, you can lose weight. Usually, every time you see stuff like this on Facebook, it’s not true. According to a scientific study done by the University of Tel Aviv, eating chocolate cake could actually help you on your weight loss quest, so long as you don’t to go over the 600 calories portion and you remember to balance this with carbohydrates and proteins.
I saw this and I was curious to see if this could actually work. According to the study, our metabolism is much more active in the morning, which is why our body is more able to burn calories early in the day. Best of all, by eating chocolate cake as part of your breakfast, you will avoid having cravings all day long. It sounds too good to be true.
On August 1st, I decided to start my experiment by just eating a normal size portion of chocolate cake. Now, you can pretty much eat chocolate cupcakes, chocolate whoopie pies, donuts, or cake. You can make your own or but store bought. The only thing I did when I bought store made cake was check the calories, fat, sugar and carb content so I chose the ones with the least in each category.
I ate my cake either at 6:30am before I worked out by 10am each morning. The ONLY thing I had for breakfast was my usual cup of coffee, a glass of water after I worked out and my piece of cake. Now, you HAVE to work out…. there’s no way around this. I usually work out by doing my cheerleading warm ups, yoga stretching, and, stairs, walking 2 miles. I do this at least 5 days a week. I would then eat a healthy snack later on in the morning if I got hungry, but for the most part, I was full all the way until lunch. I also drank water, so that is also making my stomach believe it’s full.
Today it’s August 22nd and I am happy to report that I lost 5 pounds and about 1 inch on my waistline.
This is NOT considered a diet. This was just a happy study to use as an experiment.A serious diet contains much more. But I will say, instead of doing those shake diets to lose 5 pounds, I would consider doing this instead. As always with every diet, it involves exercise. Please always be careful with what exercise program you participate in and always do your research before trying any type of diet.
If you would like my chocolate cake recipe, please follow my page, Clever Cakes, and look for my upcoming recipe book, “Love at First Bite,” being released this September.
Dating double standards are ridiculous.
The one that still stands out is that men are celebrated from dating a younger woman, but when the opposite happens, holy cow! Recently I read a tweet from a woman on Twitter questioning if it’s okay for her to date a younger man. Wait, what? You are asking permission from strangers if it’s okay to date a younger man? What is this world that we live in!
For women seeking men, though, old-fashioned gendered ideas around age still persist for many. So what are the pros and what the cons for this dating dilemma?
Asking women this question here are the top reasons why older women ( And by older we mean over 35 dating men in their 20s) want to date younger men:
Sarah: I find that younger guys are so much faster to have the ‘what are we’ conversation.
Jane: Younger men tend to have higher sex drives, And as women, our sex drives tend to peak in our 40s.
Cindy: Younger guys are just less complicated and a lot more fun. Older guys have been in long-term relationships, and some of them are even divorced. They have really complicated commitment issues.
Now here are some guys who tell me their reasons for wanting to date an older woman:
Joe: Honestly, they’re so much more emotionally and mature, not as insecure, and our conversations are incredible.
Tim: I am attracted to older women because they’re often more confident and authentic than the younger girls my age. They are the real-deal, so to speak.
Peter: The mature woman focuses less on trying to win me over and focuses more on enjoying my company. There are no “love games.”
Women want to date a man who will become a partner, not a project. We don’t need to “mama him” to death, and we don’t want a guy who plays games either. Most older guys come with baggage; and a lot of it. They constantly talk about previous relationships and why they didn’t commit, blah, blah, blah. Younger guys don’t come with all that garbage and they aren’t trying to sell you the reason you should give me a chance either. – They are confident, not insecure.
Here are a few Pros to a woman dating a younger man:
A younger man has more energy and is more willing to try things than his older counterparts. In turn, doing new things increases dopamine in the brain, triggering a desire to spend more time together and assisting in lighting your sexual fire. The pro: A longer span of time before he’s reaching for the Viagra.
Not only is there fire in the bedroom, but he’ll come up with creative date ideas that bring back romance and make you feel empowered and appreciated.
Less baggage many also mean he lacks experience with communicating. So, be selective about your battles and learn to compromise on things that aren’t vital to your relationship.
Cons (Depends on how you feel)
Younger guys like to hang out with their peers more often than older men. So be prepared to share him with his friends.
The reality is that your biological clock may be ticking away while his isn’t even be turned on. It might be years before he decides that he wants a family and then what? (This depends on how you both feel about kids- remember though, there is a thing called adoption as well.)
He may prefer texting you over calling you and he may get jealous faster seeing you talk to all the men you may know from your past or even your job.
Conclusively, If both parties are open to dating, you might have a blast with each other.. And it is entirely possible that you could fall in love with each other and have a long and happy relationship.
Because, as they say, age ain’t nothin’ but a number. You need to focus on finding the partner that is your perfect fit, regardless of age. ( Note: Legally over 18)
It’s really not rocket science to turn a woman on and let her know that you are interested in her. Men for some reason think that it’s so hard to “read” us, when really, it’s not. We give you guys cues, whether or not you pick up on them is all on you!
So if you plan on going to any July Fourth picnics or events and you see a woman you know and want to approach her, or you see a woman you don’t know and want to approach her; here are all cues laid out for you in black and white.
First and foremost, texting and calling us back is a turn on. Also responding to our social media messages is a turn on as well.
But what you guys don’t realize is that when you stop texting us we know that you are already emotionally hooked, so there’s no reason NOT to text back, you know, unless you want to be seen as a jerk, then sure, stop texting and calling us! It’s only your reputation you’re hurting, not ours. So if you text a woman you know already and want to be more than just friends, keep at it. Also, if you meet a woman on social media and want to keep getting to know her; respond to every message she sends you!
You are out with your buddies and see a woman you would like to approach. Here’s a cue: When you are staring at a woman or you just finished saying hi to her, and she starts to bite her lip, she is turned on by you and she is debating what move to make next.
Here are other cues that you have peaked a woman’s interest in her:
1) When a woman starts “fixing” her bra, you sir, have turned her on.
2) Sometimes, yes sometimes, us women can be brought speechless. This usually happens when we really, really, like a guy. And when we’re in the mist of flirting, sometimes it seems as if we are not interested when we really are freaking out and trying to quickly think of something witty and sexy to say. So the next time there is dead silence, it’s just a woman trying to figure out what to say next.
3) If she sits diagonally from you or across from you at the room, her torso is facing you in an open manner, or her shoulders and hips are facing you. Either of these signs may mean she likes you. When she is sitting and she has her legs crossed, watch her feet, if its pointed towards you, it might mean that she likes you and wants to get closer to you.
4) Whenever a woman plays with her jewelry when you are around, (necklace, rings, bracelet) she is nervously turned on by you and wants you to come over to her. Whenever she fidgets while staring at you, she is hoping that will get your attention.
5) We know that you guys spy on us on social media, so we are always one step ahead of you by posting pictures of ourselves either alone or with friends when we look amazing. We know how to play the game, and getting you jealous or curious about us, is how we do it. Also, getting compliments makes us feel good about ourselves. So , hint, hint.
Now, those cues are for mostly women you meet when you are out and about. The following are cues for women that you already know and are “friends” with her.
1) When you kiss our foreheads, hands, cheek, in a loving way, we know that you are trying to hide how you truly feel for us. But when you plant one on the lips, and it’s a soft kiss, that just takes our breath away.
2) Even if you hold my hand for 5 seconds, and I am attracted to you, I’m yours. Touch my arms, leg, be flirty while we talk and you got me!
3) Sometimes you guys are so stupid! If you see me hanging out in the same place as you, don’t wait for me to come over and say hi, make a move and say hello. If you see me wearing something that you really like, say it! Notice me and throw a compliment my way, you’ll score big points.
4) In general, a lot of guys make the mistake of bailing on the conversation too early. BUT, when a woman is making an effort to talk to you and try to keep the conversation going, she’s interested: BIG time.
Theses are the things you can do to fuel that spark and then keep the fireworks from burning out. Keeping the fireworks alive past July 4th, is not that hard, really. A date doesn’t mean you have to go out and get dolled up every single time; it can be something as simple as taking a walk around your town, ordering pizza in and watching a movie, lighting candles instead of the turning on the lamp near the TV, and so forth. We don’t need you to take us to the most expensive restaurant in town. Sometimes just going out for breakfast on the weekends is a very sweet gesture and is something that totally turns us on.
Finally, if it’s passion that you are craving for this July Fourth, you aren’t alone. Passion makes life good. It’s the essence of experiencing a fire within you! . Passion is the energy that keeps us going, that keeps us filled with love, excitement, and anticipation. If you want to feel more passion in your life, then you have to become passionate. Passionate people tend to attract other passionate people. There are fireworks all within us, we just need to take the time to let them out, and this summer is a great time to do that. If you’re with the right person and the passion goes from a flaming fire to a slow, burning love, it can last a lifetime.
Stephanie 's Corner 